Rochelle Riley Is a Real Dingbat

The media members in this city are really, really, really dense. And since I am pretty much a one-man band at this point (writing, at least), I basically have to pick and choose what ignoramus I want to target because I don’t have the time to chronicle all of the stupidity.

For example, Scott “The Virgin Whale Who Probably Gets Refused Favors From Human-Trafficked Sex Workers From Ukraine” Anderson went on the 97.1 airwaves today and stated that he didn’t want the Lions to hire Matt Patricia as their next head coach.

Why, you may ask, does this sexless manatee not want Patricia to replace Jim Caldwell? Because he doesn’t LOOK like a head coach and is a “slob.”

I am not fucking with you people.

A man who looks like this ….

And this …..

And this ….

…… doesn’t want Matt Patricia because of the way he LOOKS!!!! And I thought I was self-hating.

Anyway, that a 350-pound, cross-eyed blob whose wardrobe looks like it was purchased at the local Salvation Army shop doesn’t want someone to get a gig because of the WAY THEY LOOK doesn’t even merit a standalone article on the DSR these days.

No, today’s post is about a Detroit media member who isn’t even in the sports realm: Detroit Free Press columnist Rochelle Riley. This five-tool imbecile has been an apologist for Comatose Caldwell since the day he was hired and she really didn’t hide that it was mainly due to Caldwell being the first African-American head coach of the Lions.

I really don’t understand this blind allegiance to race.  When the Tigers hired former Team Israel manager Brad Ausmus I didn’t care for a second that his mother was Jewish — making the Dartmouth Dummy a fellow countrymen under Jew Law — I only wanted him to do a competent job and bring the Tigers a World Series title. And when he was fired, I never for a second thought it was due to anti-Semitism.

Yet Riley has gone to bat for Caldwell repeatedly over the years — even though SHE has won the same number of playoff games with the Lions as Reverend Jim did.

So you can imagine that Riley didn’t take the news well when rumors started swirling that Lions’ GM Bob Quinn was going to fire her hero.

Last week she  co-signed on one of the most pathetic, racially unhinged columns I have ever read when religious zealot/nutjob Joseph Hayes suggested Caldwell was only getting criticism because he was black …..

But Riley really came unglued on New Year’s Day when the Lions officially cut ties with Jesus Caldwell Superstar.

Some of Riley’s Tweets defied belief. She clearly has no fucking clue when it comes to football but she looks like Bill Barnwell in comparison to her knowledge of the NHL.

Here are some of Riley’s greatest hits from Monday morning:

Proud of what he accomplished? The man coached here for FOUR SEASONS and didn’t win one playoff game. But keep bragging about his .563 winning percentage which equates to a mediocre 9-7 record.

It took “forever” to fire Ausmus? Well, if four years is an eternity …. then yeah. Funny how Riley was all about getting rid of Ausmus so quickly since he was in town for four years …..

….. and won ZERO playoff games. Sound familiar?

“Didn’t hockey season just end?”

Yeah, hockey …. a WINTER SPORT … ends with a one-game Stanley Steemer Final on the last night of Chanukah. This year it was won by the Gold Coast Derby Girls.

This uneducated loon thinks Red Wings fans aren’t calling for Jeff Blashill’s head????? Well, I ran a poll to test the dolt’s theory …..

I guess 96% of my followers hate whitey.

When told that the NHL regular season actually doesn’t end until April, Riley sent a Tweet that made me believe she might have had a stroke ….

Look, I don’t think the Wings are going to make the postseason but they are currently seven points out of a playoff spot with more than half the season to play.

“You can keep going to games if you want to, but for the first time in 27 years, they won’t be going to the playoffs.”

What in the holy name of fuckery is she even trying to say? Ummmm, they missed the playoffs LAST YEAR, ya dope. And the streak was 25 years.

All Riley accomplished with her tirade was to show everyone her ass and make it easier for dipshit, white male Trump supporters to deny actual racism when it rears its ugly head.

And now I will anxiously await Riley’s column suggesting the Wings replace Blashill with Pokey Reddick or Georges Laraque when the season ends …. in August.

(You can follow Moss on Twitter @JeffMossDSR. You can discuss this article on Facebook by clicking here. You can also go fuck yourself if you’d like. Totally up to you.)