Bill Simonson is One Transparent Jackass

The creation of fake message board aliases and phony email accounts isn’t a recent phenomenon in the media business. From the days when Gregg Henson was programming WXYT-AM and utilizing a fugazi persona on the Michigan Buzz Boards (an inside baseball radio forum) to former WDFN personality Greg Brady operating a fake email account to get co-workers in trouble with management, this bizarre practice has persisted. Grand Rapids scumbag radio personality Bill Simonson has taken it to hilariously absurd levels.

Most folks who’ve stooped to this level have done so with a little more creativity than the low rated, pyramid-scheme-selling huge pile of shit on WBBL in West Michigan. This moron put so little effort into hiding his true identity that Deputy Andy Brennan could solve this mystery.

Lately I have basically ignored this douche bag nobody. It’s been almost two years since I unleashed the most brutal takedown this website has ever seen when I documented what an awful “human being” Simonson is.

Simonson is very rarely on my radar because he is totally irrelevant in southeastern Michigan. In fact, the only Detroiters who are even aware of this guy are the 30,000 unique visitors who’ve read my pieces on him.

And since I stopped talking to that dipshit Trump supporter and Lansing radio host Ryan Schuiling, I’ve had absolutely zero reason to focus my attention on Simonson. It was Schuiling’s obsession with his former co-worker that prodded me to address the irrelevant Simonson in the first place.

But I couldn’t ignore a Tweet I received earlier this evening from Simonson’s fake Twitter account.

It takes about 25 seconds of research to figure out that @5StarDuds is actually the thin-skinned, dopey Simonson himself. He is such an impulsive dolt that he couldn’t even properly disguise his identity.

I mean, EVERY post is about Simonson, his former adversary Henson or his current rivals (Jim Costa and Droo McCarthy) at ESPN 96.1 who totally own him in the ratings.

Just look at these Tweets:

I mean, Bobby Valentine did a better job disguising himself in the Mets dugout after getting tossed from a game back in the day ….

Andy Dick and Jon Stewart fooled more people with the story that they were IDENTICAL TWINS on Newsradio ….

But here is the best part. This low IQ motherfucker actually forgot to switch accounts once and posted this …..

This fool is such a buffoon that he can’t even forget to drop phrases like “my friend” which are a staple of this Tackleberry-looking fuck face. “My HUGE opinion?” Are you fucking kidding me?

This dude is absolutely mental. Creating a fake Twitter account to make yourself look good is despicable enough. Doing so without even bothering to disguise it?

Bill Simonson is a small, pathetic man. He seriously needs a team of psychiatrists to address his mental issues.

Get help, Bill.


I am being told that this isn’t the first time that the insecure ugly slob has resorted to these kind of pathetic measures. Back when Simonson was writing his incoherent “articles” for, Huge Pile of Excrement would attack the late, great Detroit Lions beat writer Tom Kowalski under the comment section in his articles.

Mainly, Simonson would bomb Killer and suggest that Simonson’s THEN pal Brian VanOchten should replace Tom as the paper’s Lions Insider. (This was BEFORE Simonson cheated VanOchten in a fantasy sports league and VanOchten summarily ended their friendship.)

The only problem with Simonson using an assumed name and attacking Killer in the comments? Those nasty posts came from the SAME IP address as the email account Simonson was using to submit his articles to

Nobody ever accused this bozo of being intelligent.

(You can follow Moss on Twitter @JeffMossDSR. You can discuss this article on Facebook by clicking here. You can also go fuck yourself if you’d like. Totally up to you.)

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