The Walking, Talking Blocked Carotid Artery Is Back At It

I have gone out of my way not to write an article regarding the current contract dispute between Andreas Athanasiou and the Red Wings. Not because I don’t have a TON to say about the situation, but I would rather wait until AA officially signs in the KHL before going all Moss on Ken Holland.

But after yesterday’s episode of “Benedict and The Whale” on 97.1, I could no longer bite my tongue. Because the commentary coming out of Scott Anderson’s blowhole on the WXYT-FM airwaves regarding the team’s young, Greek Apolo Ohno clone with soft hands was absolutely revolting.

Picture this fat slob eating a rack of ribs in his tighty whities. Yes, that disgusting.

Here is the audio of this obese virgin shitbag bombing Athanasiou and claiming he isn’t worth the dollars Holland has offered him. An offer Athanasiou has summarily dismissed.

It’s over three minutes, but ya gotta hear this future stroke victim’s comments. All of them ….

If you’d rather take a butcher knife to your ears than listen to those two fuckwads, here are the highlights:

They’ve offered him more than I think they should. If this is true, if they’ve offered him a two-year deal, 3.8 million dollars total. That’s a lot more than I think they should offer.

If I’m the Red Wings, take the money, son.

They offered him more than they should. It’s a lot more than they should.

Please jump in a vat of lard and drown, you piece of shit.

1.9 million is a LOT MORE than the Sexless Hippopotamus would offer. To put that moronic take into context, Stephen Weiss counts $2.5 million against the Wings’ cap in 2017-18. Yes, Stephen Weiss. The same Stephen Weiss whom the team bought out.

In 2015.

Fuck, Luke Glendening makes $1.8 million and he should be playing on the sixth line.

For the Toledo Walleye.

And then Karsch and his land monster pal suggested that Athanasiou is nothing more than a Darren Helm . Of course, Helm is currently riding a 5-year contract worth almost TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS and has NEVER had a year like Athanasiou had in 2016-17.

Double-A scored 18 goals playing a little over 13 minutes a game while barely getting any power play time whatsoever. Helm has NEVER scored more than 15 goals in a season while playing more minutes and oh …. by the way …. this came in AA’s 22-year-old season!!!! Helm is THIRTY.

Athanasiou does something extremely valuable. He has an insane ability to score 5-on-5 in a league where it’s as difficult as ever. It’s a commodity similar to being able to rush the quarterback in the NFL. And Double-A was better at that task than Alexander Ovechkin last season. Shit, he was better than almost EVERY OTHER forward in the league when you factor in ice time.

Of course Athanasiou has flaws in his game. He needs to work on his defense, but most 23-year-old kids do. Hell, Steve Yzerman was 31 years old and nearly traded for Alexandre Daigle and Stanislav Neckar because he was lousy in his own end. And no, I am not comparing #19 to #72 but you get the fucking point.

Not only are the Wings a garbage team without any hope of making the playoffs this season but they are also extremely boring to watch and losing Athanasiou to Russia would only make them more tedious to view. How long will the newness of Kid Rock’s Confederate Coneys and Police Brutality Burgers last when this team is reminiscent of the 1985-86 squad?

These imbeciles actually attempted to absolve Holland of wrongdoing in this matter which is is a new level of stupidity even for them. You don’t think Athanasiou is aware of the pressure the team is under to keep him? Holland has made his own bed by giving ridiculous term and money to a bunch of lousy players and now he can’t rebut an agent when comps are raised.

Just look at how the team got murdered on Twitter when they announced they had come to terms with Robbie Russo yesterday. And it was just as bad on Facebook and Instagram.

If Double-A actually leaves for Eastern Europe I will have much more to say about this subject.

But I couldn’t refrain from commenting on this cross-eyed manatee’s latest idiocy. Choke on a BLT and die.


(You can follow Moss on Twitter @JeffMossDSR. You can discuss this article on Facebook by clicking here. You can also go fuck yourself if you’d like. Totally up to you.)

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