Pistons Fans Cannot Name Their Team’s GM


By Jeff Moss
December 11, 2014

On Sunday evening, the DSR’s Second-in-Command, Justin Spiro, and I decided to attend the Detroit Pistons/Oklahoma City Thunder tilt at the Palace.

Why? Well, after the team’s embarrassing loss the night before against the historically awful 76ers — a team that dropped its first 17 games and was playing on the second night of a back-to-back — while not making a single FIELD GOAL during the five-minute extra session, we decided we had to watch this third-trimester abortion in person.

We even brought brown paper bags to wear over our heads in case the Thunder opened up a ten-plus point lead at any point. Unfortunately, the Pistons didn’t cooperate and instead kept the game close the entire way. In fact, they didn’t seal their fate until Josh Smith missed a WIDE OPEN three-pointer with like two seconds left which, would have given the Pistons a victory.

And trust me, Josh Smith bricking a WIDE OPEN trey with the game on the line was well worth the $35 tickets we purchased on StubHub.

Anyway, we barely watched any of the game from our seats. Instead, we spent most of our time walking through the concourse asking Pistons fans who the team’s current General Manager was.

We targeted either guys who had Pistons gear on or ones with cute girlfriends. It was our theory that barely any Detroit basketball fans would know that Jeff Bower was the actual GM — not Stan Van Gundy or Joe Dumars.

(Hell, even I accidentally called him “Jeff Bowers” for a moment.)

So Pistons fans were actually more clueless than we thought. We must have talked to 75 people and only TWO knew the correct response. AND THEY WERE TOGETHER.

Fuck, we would have taken Jeff Bower, Jeff Bowers or even [Jeff] Bowzer from Sha-Na-Na, for Christ’s sake. Like, maybe 3% of people watching this HORRID exhibition at the Palace on a Sunday night knew the name of the team’s GM. And we really only targeted people whom we thought might know.

Here is the video. Enjoy …..