Lynn Henning Is a Saturday Night Live Skit

We are now two months away from the 15th birthday of the DetroitSportsRag and we’ve been discussing different ideas to celebrate our crystal anniversary. A huge party has been mentioned, but one idea has gained some traction …..

The introduction of a DSR Hall of Shame for the worst members of the Detroit Sports Media. And if we go through with this plan, there is no question that Detroit News writer Lynn Henning would be a member of that inaugural class. And earlier today, Henning padded a resume that needed no further embellishment.

The maniac has had an incredible career that includes:

  • Stating the Tigers were five-to-ten years away from contending in the AL Central …. ten months before playing in the WORLD SERIES.
  • Claiming Joba Chamberlain was going to get a free-agent contract for around $50 million a couple of years ago.
  • His current mantra that Chris Ilitch isn’t cutting salary with the goal of saving himself money.
  • Propping up every Tigers prospect ever only to watch the vast majority never make an MLB impact.

I could go on and on, but the stubborn and dopey baseball writer seriously needs no introduction. But if there were any doubt about this clueless Mr. Magoo before today, well, you’re a fucking dummy and here’s some more ammo …..

At 1:17pm today, ESPN’s prestige investigative outlet “Outside the Lines” released a scathing piece on Michigan State’s athletic program, which included extremely disturbing tidbits regarding Tom Izzo’s and Mark Dantonio’s programs. The article detailed ugly incidents involving the basketball and football programs and, when combined with the “Nassar Thing”™ (Joel Ferguson), demonstrated an athletics department that had run amok, lost institutional control and potentially was involved in several coverups.

Here are some of the snippets from that extraordinary report:

So Dantonio LIED about the number of sexual assaults or incidents of violence against women that had occurred under his watch. Great guy!!!!

And what about Tom “Unwavering Support” Izzo?

So, an assistant coach of Izzo Ray Rice’d a grieving woman at a bar and Napoleon did nothing about it??????

And even before any of this “OTL” information came out, both Izzo and Dantonio were in a firestorm of criticism for supporting Lou Anna Simon last week while the Larry Nassar survivors were openly calling for her head on a platter. Ya know, the Lou Anna Simon who had to resign in shame earlier this week.

At 1:43pm — just 26 minutes after the ESPN report was released — the News ran a piece headlined, “MSU should heed advice from Dantonio, Izzo in AD search.”

Ron Goldman had better timing than Henning with this piece.

Get a load of THIS…

Football and basketball needn’t suffer? Holy fucking piss.

Henning went on to say this:

In fact, MSU will be smart to keep the Board of Trustees’ influence to a bare minimum as Michigan State searches for a new AD and to instead trust Dantonio and Izzo in finding a new leader for MSU athletics.

Listen to the men who have not let you down.

Listen to the men who have not let you down.

Can someone ask the victim of sexual assault by one of Dantonio’s players if she was let down by the MSU football head coach when he thought the proper way to handle this was to report it to the student’s …….. MOTHER!!!!!

I wonder if Ashley Thompson — the woman knocked out by Travis Walton — believes Izzo is some sort of Knight in Shining Armor.

Seriously, when is this old man finally going to retire? Forget everything else, with all that is going on with MSU this week, who at the News thought it was a good idea for Henning to concentrate on Mark Hollis‘ replacement? Who gives a flying fuck right now? That’s about 182,392 on the list of priorities at this point.

I could spend another 1,500 words tearing this dipshit a new asshole, but I’ll let other Twitter commenters chime in instead ….

It gets even better though. Here is Henning’s headline from Friday ….

And here is his headline from Saturday. An article he turned in less than TWELVE HOURS later!!!!!

I cannot even believe this schmuck.

Not that Henning was the only one to show his ass today.

To the shock of absolutely no one, Lansing State Journal (and hater of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day) columnist Graham Couch Tweeted something completely inappropriate …

…… only to be topped by something called Hondo Carpenter,  who, allegedly, is a writer for SpartanNation.com.

I can’t even anymore.

This fucking idiot supposedly has a lakeshore timeshare with Dantonio!!!!

But don’t worry, at the end of the day, unsolicited-dick-pic-sharing, morbidly obese, intern-abusing, asshat bully Rico Beard put everything into perspective ….

Can we get that nuclear war started already?

I am ready to go.

(You can follow Moss on Twitter @JeffMossDSR. You can discuss this article on Facebook by clicking here. You can also go fuck yourself if you’d like. Totally up to you.)