Lynn Henning is a Delusional, Lying, Know-Nothing

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By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
Updated February 24, 2015

Five years ago yesterday, current Fox Sports reporter Clay Travis sent out a Tweet proclaiming that then-Kentucky center DeMarcus Cousins would be arrested within five years.

On the date that the [racist] prediction officially became incorrect, Cousins was named to his first NBA All-Star game. And the best part of this whole situation played out Friday morning when the Kings center reminded the world about Travis’ asinine comment via Instagram.

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But Boogie wasn’t the only one lying in wait over a horrific prediction with the payoff coming on January 30, 2015. On July 23rd, Lynn Henning sent out the following Tweet ……

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Now, ridiculing this bumbling fool today isn’t hindsight. This is what I posted just minutes after Henning’s missive that should have gotten him locked up in a mental institution …

Well, as you can surmise, Joba Chamberlain isn’t going to get a contact anywhere near $50 million or “way over” that figure as this madman suggested back at the end of July. Seriously, a man who is paid to write about baseball suggested that JOBA CHAMBERLAIN was going to get north of 50 mill.

Now, keep in mind that the two best relief pitchers on the free-agent market this offseason didn’t even command that kind of cash. David Robertson signed a contract worth $46 million over four years. 

Andrew Miller inked a $36-million deal for the same length. Since you are reading this website, I don’t think I have to tell you that Chamberlain isn’t in the same stratosphere (or galaxy) as those two gentlemen. I will just let Fox Sports baseball scribe Ken Rosenthal do that for me ….

At this point, Chamberlain knows that he is unlikely to meet his goal of a two-year deal and is considering a one-year offer with a relatively low base salary and incentives, the source said. Chamberlain made $2.5 million with the Tigers last season, and finished with a 3.57 ERA in 63 innings.

Yes, Joba is probably going to have to settle for a contract similar to the one he got last year from Detroit. Or in laymen’s terms ….. approximately $48 million LESS than Lynn Henning predicted!!!!

So, after making the worst prediction since Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer claimed the iPhone was going to be a bust and wouldn’t make a dent in marketshare, you’d think this kook Henning would sit back and take his medicine.

Well, if you thought that, ya don’t know Lynn very well. This was Henning’s actual reaction on Twitter when Jeremiah Junker (a one-time sports editor at EMU’s student-run newspaper and Vincent Goodwill’s former “boss”) called this clown out over his hilariously awful opinion ….

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Yep, this response was straight out of the Lynn Henning Crazy Person handbook.

1) Accuse whomever is calling me out for my stupidity “Jeff Moss.” Because he is the only person in the world who thinks I am an imbecile.

2) Change the argument completely by stating that Joba’s numbers were better on June 7th than Andrew Miller’s — even though my Tweet came six weeks later.

3) Make some excuse as to why I would have been right even though I was never going to be correct based on my own exaggeration of events, like Joba “completely disintegrated” after the prediction was made.

4) Accuse the person of being Jeff Moss again.

5) State something that is completely inaccurate, like Chamberlain’s pre-injury track record being similar to his April and May numbers. [Even though the prediction came at the end of July.

If Joba was so great in New York, why did he get only $2.5 million from the Tigers for one year?] Also, a lot of teams give contracts north of $50 million to former Tommy John patients who pitch well for a couple of months coming off a year with a 1.63 WHIP and 4.64 ERA.

But Lynn, you were always a true believer when it came to Joba’s past, so your insistence that he would get a huge deal this offseason was consistent with the position that April and May of 2014 were representative of the Hutt’s career ……

Welp!!!! In a just few months, Henning went from thinking Joba was pure garbage to suggesting he’d get more money than just about any free-agent closer has earned this decade.

I apologize if your head is spinning like Linda Blair’s in “The Exorcist” at this point, but the farm boy deacon tends to have that effect on people. Oh … I almost forgot number Rule #6. LIE THROUGH YOUR FUCKING TEETH — which really isn’t very CHRISTIAN of you, Lynn.

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The man never said anything about Joba only getting that contract if he was a viable starter. It never occurred. He is pathological. Not to mention the argument that Joba supposedly outperforming Andrew Miller for two months at the beginning of a season means anything at all in the grand scheme of things.

Does Lynn think if James Loney outhits Miguel Cabrera for a couple of months he should be able to demand a $30-million-a-year contract? This dude has straight up lost his mind. Can someone please get the straitjacket and paddy wagon ready?

Update as of February 24, 2015 

Welp. Lynn only missed his prediction by $49 million!!!!!

Now, did Henning go on Twitter and admit he was wrong? Did he issue a mea culpa for stating that Joba would get north of $50 million when the best closer on the market (Robertson) and the best relief pitcher available (Miller) did not even command that ludicrous figure?

Did he write that it was ridiculous to think Joba would have continued to pitch like he was the first two months of the season based on his CAREER NUMBERS AND suggesting that said projection would end in a pot full of gold for Chamberlain WAS INSANE?

Nope. He just attacked me some more and doubled-down on his craziness.

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You have to wonder if Lynn Henning checks underneath his bed and in his master bedroom closet for Jeff Moss before he goes to sleep.

This imbecile thinks it looks better for him that the reason Joba didn’t get the deal is because he imploded? I mean, who could have seen THAT coming? So in Henning’s mind, if he wrote in 2006 that Chris Shelton was on pace for a $100-million deal because of his fluky April and May, it would have been appropriate?

That’s like me writing that that if only my penis hadn’t stopped growing in 1988, I’d be as large as Lexington Steele.

Can we start calling Henning, “Still Lynn” in honor of Julianne Moore’s Academy Award victory?

What a wackjob.

When is the News going to figure out a creative way to force “Still Lynn” into retirement? Maybe they should make him cover the 2016 Republican primaries. That should do it.