I have been using the term “Uncle Tom Blogger” both on this website and through social media for a few years now, but some folks still don’t understand what I am implying when I throw out that derogatory phrase.
Case in point from the other day ….
First of all, there are zero racial overtones involved when I call someone an “Uncle Tom Blogger.” I have NEVER labeled an African-American in this way partly because I think it would be in incredibly bad taste, but mainly because there would have to be a lousy black sports blogger in Detroit and I can’t think of one off the top of my JewFro.
Here is what the “Uncle Tom Bloggers” look like just in case you aren’t familiar …..
Kyle from “Winging It in Motown”
Jeremy from “Pride of Detroit”
That group couldn’t be any more white if they were all singing “Margaritaville” at a Jimmy Buffett concert while discussing the great caramel latte macchiato they enjoyed before spin class.
Anyway, here is how Wikipedia explains “Uncle Tom” as an epithet ……
I latched on to the term not because of the racial history of the phrase but because these bloggers I attack are “excessively obedient” and “servile.” These imbeciles create fanboy websites to serve a “master” that doesn’t give a rat’s ass about them. They continually are served a shit sandwich by these teams and sell it as a Ruth’s Chris filet mignon doused in 500-degree butter sauce.
The organizations already have enough jock sniffing cheerleaders in the mainstream media (Chris McCosky, Helene St. James, Anthony Fenech, Ansar Khan, Craig Custance, Bob Wojnowski, etc.) and yet these losers decided to dedicate their lives to something that is totally superfluous to the coverage we were getting pre-Internet.
I have written about Malik, “Bless You Boys” and “Winging It In Motown” in the past but the other day the Editor-in-Clown of “Pride of Detroit” provided a textbook example of what an “Uncle Tom Blogger” is so I figured this would be a perfect time to explain my thinking.
The following is a Tweet from Mike Florio of ProFootballTalk from Thursday morning …..
Pretty standard stuff. The franchise hasn’t won a championship in 61 seasons; they’ve never come close to earning a Super Bowl berth; they haven’t won the division in 25 years; and they’ve had two certain Hall of Famers QUIT on the team because they couldn’t take all of the losing and misery for one more day.
They’ve also had number of players die mowing their lawn in the last 61 years as they’ve had postseason victories. And they’ve actually had more former quarterbacks named Erik/Eric try to commit suicide than the number of playoff wins they possess since 1957.
Mocking a team with THAT history for raising ticket prices for the fifth season in a row seemed like a slap on the wrist from Florio. I would have been much meaner (and I just was) about the Lions’ ignominious past under the inept ownership of the Ford Family.
But not Jeremy Reisman. Nope. This tool actually was OFFENDED by Florio’s Tweet. Get a load of this ……
“Do better, PFT.” Is this sycophantic fanboy serious? I haven’t seen a more asinine argument over headlines since Lisa Kudrow suggested that Seth Rogen’s baby swallowing a condom in “Neighbors” could be sold as “Fraternity Practices Safe Sex.”
“Do better.” This raging imbecile holds Florio to a higher fucking standard than he does the pathetic organization he has dedicated his life to fluffing.
But this dork wasn’t done …..
He is mocking someone for calling the Lions a “non-winning team.” I can’t even. I’ve seen more self-awareness from “The Real Kardashian Housewives of The Rose Ceremony” or whatever shit my wife watches at night when I am listening to Howard Stern with my headphones on while we share a bed.
But wait …. there is actually more ……
If you wonder how the Lions franchise has been able to get away with giving their fanbase “Cleveland Steamers” for the past six decades with very few repercussions, I introduce this Reisman douche bag to you.
Not that I would provide a link to prove it in a million years, but this fuckface actually wrote an ARTICLE on his blog DEFENDING the Lions’ decision to raise ticket prices. Again.
I mean, I guess I could understand a fan being agnostic about Rod Wood’s decision to raise ticket prices, but can you imagine getting so worked up about it that you would WRITE AN ARTICLE excusing the practice??!???!?!?!?!??
Not even Tori Petry would record some cutesy video on the team’s own WEBSITE of her attempting to defend the business decision while spooning with Roary. And you wonder why I call him an Uncle Tom Blogger?
By the way, if you still want to question if there are any racial overtones to the phrase, this is his mom…
Oh, for Christ’s sake. I have seen Wonder Bread darker than that.
Keep in mind, this is the same fool who runs a Madden video game simulator before every Lions game and gets excited about the outcome like it’s the first time he has touched a vagina.
And I doubt he ever has.
Oh, the humanity.
Seriously, if I were this guy’s mother, I wouldn’t be wearing a t-shirt with his likeness, I’d be scoping out a place on the roof of the RenCen from which to to jump.
And if my mom ever wore a shirt with a picture of me on it, I wouldn’t post it on social media; I’d suffocate her with a pillow.
I have bombed this dweeb on Twitter in the past and he has responded with this type of dagger ….
About ten years ago, Mike Stone asked me to help him with a book he was writing with Art Regner called, “The Great Book of Detroit Sports Lists.”
Stoney asked Mitch Albom for a list of the best talkers in Detroit locker rooms.
He asked Ernie Harwell for a list of his ten best memories at Tiger Stadium.
And he asked me to pen a chapter about the best strip clubs in Motown. This wasn’t my idea. It was Stoney’s.
(The 97.1-FM talk show host also requested that I ghostwrite about 20% of the book when Regner got lazy, but that’s an entirely different matter. Stoney paid me about $1,500 for my contribution, I believe, which I parlayed into about 20 grand after hitting a Pick-4 at Belmont Park … which means I am the only one who made anything off that book.)
And this is Reisman’s attack on me. That I like strip clubs. Or that I did in 2007. He believes this is a nuke that shakes me to my core.
Are you still questioning if he is a virgin?
Fucking Uncle Tom Bloggers.
Guy makes Clarence Thomas look like Malcolm X.
(You can follow Moss on Twitter @JeffMossDSR. You can discuss this article on Facebook by clicking here. You can also go fuck yourself if you’d like. Totally up to you.)