Michael Stone. Jizz Bucket Samuelsen. Heather Park. “The Virginal Manatee.” “Ann Arbor” Douglas Karsch the Fourth. Mike “Studio Gangsta” Valenti. Dennis Fithian. Pat Caputo. Dan Leach. Mike Sullivan. Kyle Bogie. Jeff Riger. Bob Wojnowski. Scott Anderson.
What do all of the above have in common?
Well, other than the fact they are not worth listening to on the radio, it’s pretty damn obvious. (Sometimes there is more than one answer to a question as Cliff Clavin could tell ya.)
No. They are all WHITE. Some paler than others, but make no mistake about it …. they are all caucasians. Hell, Jamie Samuelsen is so god-damn vanilla that I am surprised he isn’t translucent. Almost the entire on-air staff is whiter than the cocaine Leach used to sniff up his humongous nostrils. Allegedly.
(Editor’s Note: I know I listed Anderson twice in the lede. But he gets two mentions because of his size. Not unlike the two seats he requires on a flight out of DTW.)
Since Terry Foster abrupt retirement from the station back in April due to health complications resulting from two strokes back in 2016, “The Ticket” resembles a crowd at a yacht race. (I would have said Klan rally, but come on, Riger, Stoney and Leach wouldn’t exactly be welcome there.)
One of the FIRST articles I ever wrote on this website 14-plus years ago dealt with the lack of diversity on Detroit sports airwaves. It was an attack piece on former WDFN/WXYT program director Gregg Henson for his failure to cultivate any African-American talent on either 1130 or 1270. And in the past decade and a half things have not gotten any better. In fact, it’s become a bigger issue.
In a city (they label themselves a DETROIT station … not one in Rochester or Bloomfield Hills) that is over 80 percent (!!!) BLACK, WXYT-FM cannot find ONE person of color who is worthy of getting precious airtime over the likes of the Sexless Hippopotamus and the Wonder Twin Millennial Douche Bags?
I am told that some African-American dude named Brian Chapman (who????) works the graveyard shift but it’s hard to find any evidence of this. I am pretty sure the only folks listening to 97.1 at 3am are insomniacs and serial killers.
I mean, even these two aren’t exactly impressed with Chapman’s stature at “The Ticket” …
Now, don’t get me wrong. We haven’t exactly had a plethora of radio geniuses of color since the local debut of the sports/guy talk genre. Over the last 23 years we’ve been subjected to dopes like Ike “The Mega Moron” Griffin, Eric Pate, Drew Sharp and Foster himself.
But it’s not like their white counterparts have set the world on fire so can someone explain why a loser like Fithian or Caputo is still gainfully employed while not one black voice can be heard on 97.1 during waking hours? Does Specs Howard have some Alabama circa 1954 policy regarding the admission of African-Americans????
Are there NO black folks in the city of Detroit who can pontificate on light rail, food trucks and the Mount Rushmore of Hamburgers?
Are you seriously telling me you can’t develop ONE young black kid when you are employing both Sullivan and Bogie? Can someone PLEASE tell me if these naive asshats are the SAME PERSON???!?!?!?!? The only reason I can differentiate between the two is one said his life is no different than living under an oppressive government in Venezuela and the other twatsicle actually had the nerve to say the Michigan basketball team PLANE CRASH was overblown.
Like, these two fools get actual run on this station while a dude like Clarence Black — who has appeared on a popular CBS primetime program, has Detroit sports talk radio experience and who has served this country admirably — can’t get an opportunity? Now, I am not saying that C-Black is the second coming of Howard Stern or Neil Rogers but have you ever LISTENED to Pat Caputo SPEAK?!?!???
It’s not like the bar is high. It’s lower than Peter Dinklage for fuck’s sake.
The lack of diversity on 97.1 is almost as big an embarrassment as the actual sports takes that come out of these mouthbreathers’ pie-holes. For example, just in the last 48 hours, Cross-Eyed Cholesterol Boy stated that the Tigers would be “lucky” if Justin Upton opted out of his contract after this season.This idiocy came a year after the land monster said that the Tigers should consider voiding Upton’s contract. You see, Anderson is more familiar with the menu at Cheesecake Factory than he is the MLB CBA.
You couldn’t find an African-American ANYWHERE in this country who is more intelligent than these dipshits? The thought of that should be more insulting to black people than David Duke.
And based on Whale’s suggestion last offseason that the Red Wings could trade Dylan Larkin, Alexey Marchenko, a couple of first round picks and cash to Edmonton for Connor McDavid …..
You should even be able to find a black guy who knows more about hockey.
(You can follow Moss on Twitter @JeffMossDSR. You can discuss this article on Facebook by clicking here. You can also go fuck yourself if you’d like. Totally up to you.)