Last year while Jakob Chychrun was earning serious ice time for the Arizona Coyotes and outscoring every Red Wings defenseman not named Mike Green I started a bit on Twitter.
Every time the then- 18-year-old defenseman — whom Ken Holland passed on in the draft to rid himself of Pavel Datsyuk’s dead cap space — recorded a point I made a joke about what Dennis Cholowski was doing that evening in college.
Cholowski, of course, was the pimple-faced project defenseman whom Holland selected a few picks later and who was struggling mightily at St. Cloud State.
Jakob Chychrun scored against tonight.
Don’t fret though, I hear Dennis Cholowski got to second base with a girl from Kappa Delta tonight. https://t.co/AZHJM4WcBh
— Jeffrey Moss (@JeffMossDSR) January 20, 2017
Chyrchrun had assist tonight and is Plus 2.
Dennis Cholowski did ace his Geology final exam at St. Cloud St. so we have that going for us.
— Jeffrey Moss (@JeffMossDSR) December 14, 2016
It was a lot of fun mocking Holland for blowing the Chychrun pick but I never thought that joke would actually make it into a legitimate mainstream article.
However, over the weekend, Katie Strang of the Athletic wrote a totally worthless profile of Cholowski that included this hilarious humanizing nugget …..
Yep, while Chychrun was playing 44 minutes over two games this weekend with the Coyotes, Cholowski was nervously meeting his girlfriend’s parents.
I wish I would have thought of that joke last year. Ya gotta believe me.
Anyway, this trash article by Strang just boggled my mind. I have been an ardent detractor of this paywall site since its tentacles reached Detroit and I am totally incredulous that people pay for this trash.
(I obviously don’t pay for that mishegas. Whenever a headline infuriates me on Twitter, I ask someone to copy and paste the drivel and email it to me.)
I cannot fathom why anyone doles out their hard earned money to have their intelligence insulted by Craig Custance’s Holland apologist columns or shit like this Cholowski puff piece.
I mean, aren’t there enough places to get that for free (Freep, News, MLive, WingingItInMotown, George Malik, etc.) that you don’t need to pay for this puffery from Helene St. Strang?
Just get a load of some of this malarkey:
This reasoning Katie Regner is providing here as to why Cholowski didn’t make Team Canada’s World Junior Championship team is ridiculous. Of the seven Canadian defensemen who made the squad over Cholowski, all but one are either a year YOUNGER than Cholowski or were picked after him in the 2016 Entry Draft.
And Victor Mete? (Wasn’t he the bad guy in “Beverly Hills Cop?” Or was that Victor Maitland?)
Well, using Mete as some sort of deflection when Cholowski didn’t make the team is incredible. Mete was selected EIGHTY (80!!!!!!!!!!) picks after Cholowski last year.
And not only did he ace Cholowski out of the Team Canada roster, he actually made the Canadiens out of training camp!!!! And that is your defense of Holland and Cholowski?!??!?!?!?!?
Can someone from the Montreal Gazette give me an update on Mete’s dating habits?
If the comparison to Mete (a fourth-round selection!!!!) wasn’t absurd enough, Ansar Strang’s other article comp is even better.
Wait, are Red Wings fans supposed to take solace in the fact that Dan Cleary never made Team Canada?
Cleary was a mid- first round selection like Cholowski and, after getting cut by Team Canada three times, he bounced around the NHL until he landed in Detroit at the age of 27 (!!!!) and finally found some success with the Wings.
After Chicago, Edmonton and Phoenix had already given up on him.
Well, if that doesn’t make Wings fans sleep well at night, I am not sure what will.
It’s an absolute embarrassment that the 20th pick in the 2016 draft wasn’t considered one of the seven best defensemen under 20 years of age in his own country 17 months later.
It’s almost unheard of.
And what do we get from this pay site? Cholowski meeting his girlfriend’s parents and a bunch of bullshit excuses.
And we didn’t even find out if Dennis and his significant other were allowed to share the same room.
Don’t worry, I am not done with the Athletic this week. And it’s only going to get worse. In a few days I will be writing a #MeToo article about one of their staff.
And it’s not even going to cost you anything.
(You can follow Moss on Twitter @JeffMossDSR. You can discuss this article on Facebook by clicking here. You can also go fuck yourself if you’d like. Totally up to you.)