(This article was originally published on November 16, 2015. It is being republished to commemorate John Wharton’s appearance on Spiro’s podcast.)
I have only run into former Red Wings trainer John Wharton once in my life. It was during the wee hours of June 7, 1995 on Rush Street in Chicago and the Wings had just defeated the Blackhawks in Game 3 of the Western Conference Finals.
Just hours after Vladimir Konstantinov’s weak double overtime shot that miraculously slipped by Eddie Belfour, some members of the Wings had taken to the streets of Chicago to celebrate.
What I found bizarre about that night was Wharton’s barhopping companion. None other than former Wing enforcer Bob Probert, who at that point in his career had signed with Chicago. I thought it was odd that Probie would be hanging out with Wings personnel just hours after his new team had lost a gut-wrenching game to go down three games to none in the WCF.
Of course, Probert was literally just a bystander that series as he was suspended for the entire season by commissioner Gary Bettman due to an arrest for crashing his motorcycle at the intersection of Middlebelt and Orchard Lake Road. Probert’s blood alcohol content was thrice the legal limit and there were also trace amounts of cocaine in the power forward’s system.
So, yeah, it was pretty odd to see Probert bouncing from bar to bar on Rush Street with Wharton. But, whatever.
I hadn’t given Wharton much thought in the decade since he left the Wings organization…until his horrid takes started popping up on my Facebook and Twitter timelines.
How awful are Wharton’s social media missives? Just imagine if Curt Schilling and Lance Berkman decided to do in vitro with Anne Coulter. That petri dish experiment would result in John Wharton.
To say that Wharton is your embarrassing racist uncle doesn’t do justice to this man’s disgusting beliefs. He is your awful uncle who also went to jail for failing to pay child support and who once attempted to sell his Stanley Cup rings.
Is there anything funnier than being in jail for failure to pay child support and under the “Marks, Scars & Tattoos” section of your page the Department of Corrections website it lists “an angel with 3 children’s names underneath”?
Anyway, with help of DSR Research Chief Mihir Bhatnagar, we have compiled some of Wharton’s greatest social media hits.
I’d advise you to have a barf bag at your side just in case ….
I don’t think transgendered people like being labeled as “thingamajigs.”
This was impressive: The Daily Double of the bullshit “War on Christmas” and transgender bigotry.
Some borderline homophobia ….
Yeah, Wharton isn’t a big fan of the current President ….
Nothing better than lunatic tea-baggers calling the POTUS, “Hussein.” Not transparent at all.
Wearing your hat like a gang banger? Oh boy …..
If you could, you would do WHAT??????????? I think we know ….
This is what the man admits to on Facebook. Can you imagine his PRIVATE conversations??
Just a nice potpourri of asinine takes.
Just your typical complete lack of understanding of how the political parties have morphed over centuries; Jim Crow; slavery; and segregation….
Whom does Wharton want to nuke after the Paris attacks? Who the fuck knows. I guess just pick any A-Rab country over there in the Middle East …
The guy who was imprisoned for not paying child support really played the “don’t care about your own” card????????? Well, his sports takes must be a lot better ….
Hahhahaha. Darren McCarty?? Well, I guess douche bags who screw over their kids stick together.
And blaming Lions fans for the franchise’s awful history? Would Wharton have blamed the Jews for the Holocaust as well?
And just last night, Wharton got into a Twitter fight with Mihir’s fake Jerry Green account ….
I mean, does Wharton really think that’s the 87-year-old former Detroit News columnist?!?!!!? Does he believe an octogenarian would use the term “dawg”?
Why does Wharton always accuse people who disagree with him of being drunk?
Meanwhile, DSR contributor Matt Porath has asked Mihir to look into the social media habits of Pio DiSalvo.
We will update you if we find out that the former Tigers trainer believes President Obama was born in Kenya.
(You can follow Moss on Twitter @JeffMossDSR. You can discuss this article on Facebook by clicking here. You can also go fuck yourself if you’d like. Totally up to you.)