Doing the Damn Thang on Lynn Henning (Again)

By Jeff Moss
November 21, 2011 

Recently, frequent DSR contributor Justin Spiro recited a story on the DSR Facebook page from a couple of years ago in which he confronted Detroit News propagandist Lynn Henning about his horrid baseball related columns.

At the end of this contentious discussion that occurred on the ramp leading to the 300 level of Comerica Park, Spiro spit out the following line in the direction of Henning:

“I hope you trip and die.”

Now, as much as I despise Henning’s work, I thought that barb was a tad harsh. As horrid as “Soak Your Head” Lynn is at his job at least he never anally raped a young boy in a shower.

I then read Lynn’s last two Tigers related columns in the News and now I am just upset that Justin didn’t pull a Jimmy Darmody and toss Henning off the third level of the Tigers home stadium, Mickey Doyle-style.

(If you’re a sadist, you can read the two columns here: and

It would be one thing if Henning was just a terrible writer with asinine opinions (which he is), but the problem goes MUCH deeper than that. The Detroit News continues to employ a man who is more than willing to do the bidding of the Tigers and certain high level employees of the organization whenever they desire.

Mike Ilitch is going to lower payroll and the team wants to do a preemptive strike to lower the fan’s expectations? Call Lynn.

The Tigers are planning on trading fan favorite Curtis Granderson? Just plant a story with Henning that Granderson’s off-the-field charitable activities are hampering the center fielder’s ability to hit left-handed pitching.

This awful behavior on Henning’s part has been going on for years in plain sight with his employer doing absolutely nothing about it. (Of course, we are talking about the same people who turned a blind eye to Rob Parker sucking Joe Dumars’ cock for years in Waaab’s bought and paid for columns.)

It is so transparent that the Tigers have a pipeline to spread their propaganda through Henning whenever they want that you’d think the team would be a little more judicious in their leaks.

Except NOBODY in this joke of a town cares. The sports editor at the News (Phil Laciura) obviously would rather have these “exclusives” than a paper with any sort of journalistic credibility.

The fans are too stupid to know any better and Lynn’s media brethren would rather talk about the guy behind his back and off-the-record than bring the issue to the forefront.

It is absolutely pathetic that so-called “journalists” in Detroit would rather remain friendly with each other than rip this type of garbage when it occurs. [Verlander] forbid, if it would be uncomfortable in the press box buffet line if someone outed Henning for the type of crap he has written over the last few days.

But the members of the Detroit Sports media operate a Good Old Boy network. They act like cops during an Internal Affairs investigation. Just clam up, mind your own business and this soon shall pass.

It is like Copland and I gotta be Sylvester Stallone.

How else can you explain their silence while Henning continues his one-man campaign to get Dave Dombrowski’s name into the mix as a potential replacement for Bud Selig as MLB commissioner?

In the last month, Henning has now written TWO (2)!!!!!! columns suggesting that the Tigers President is LIKELY to leave the team for Selig’s job.

In Henning’s latest “Dombrowski for Commish” column on November 18th, he wrote, “Dombrowski has a shot, probably a good one, at replacing Bud Selig as commissioner when Selig’s term expires following next year’s World Series.”

A GOOD SHOT at running all of Major League Baseball according to this lapdog. So, you’d probably think there is someone, ANYONE else in the world who shares this opinion, right?

Well, I have researched many articles and columns discussing potential candidates to replace Selig and I have not found ONE that mentions Dombrowski at all.

Henning is MAKING THIS SHIT UP. All of it.

There has been legitimate speculation that the next commissioner might be someone like Tim Brosnan, Andy MacPhail, Derrick Hall, Rob Manfred, Sandy Alderson, Stan Kasten, Joe Torre, Bob DuPuy or Jimmy Lee Solomon.

Then you have had your goofy suggestions like George W. Bush, George Will, Bob Costas and Rudy Giuliani.

But Dombrowski?!?!?? That’s a one-man band led by Shill Henning.

Do you really think that next commissioner of MLB is going to be a guy who is viewed as agent Scott Boras’ personal bitch? Ummm, the owners are the decision makers for that gig and I doubt they will promote a guy whose bad player contracts have led the Tigers to operate in the red for years.

The most contentious issue in the Collective Bargaining Agreement which was just agreed upon last week was the owners insistence on a more punitive system for teams exceeding the commissioner’s recommended slotting regarding amateur contracts.

Do you really think the next COMMISSIONER OF BASEBALL is going to be the poster child for ignoring the commissioner’s slot recommendations?

Of course not. But if Henning continues to pen columns that Dombrowksi is a candidate, it will almost be like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

And when Dombrowski doesn’t get the gig and remains in charge of the Tigers for the next few years, who do you think is going to get all of the juicy exclusive stories from the executive offices at Comerica Park?

I am guessing the guy who continues to fellate EVERY employee of that organization in one of Detroit’s two major newspapers.

The whole situation is a fucking joke and the only bigger travesty is Henning’s compadres in the media refusing to step up to the plate and make a major issue out of this.

Don’t be Jealous, Cancer Stick

And just because Campaign Manager Lynn was busy promoting “Dombrowski in 2012”, it didn’t mean he couldn’t do a little Jim Leyland ass-licking as well.

In his column on Thursday, Henning explained the reasons why he would have voted for Leyland over Tampa’s Joe Maddon for AL Manager of the Year. (An award that Maddon rightfully won in a landslide.)

Here are some of Shill’s comments in italics and my response to his idiocy:

“He had the best pitching rotation in all of baseball. You or I would have put the Rays into the playoffs with the thoroughbred horses who were so plentiful the Rays didn’t have room for them all in 2011.”

Yes, you or I would have led Tampa to the postseason in 2011. Actually, based on Henning’s thinking, Maddon should probably get fired since the Rays didn’t make the playoffs until the LAST DAY of the season when they miraculously defeated the Yankees while the Red Sox lost to the Orioles.

Henning must believe that Maddon did an awful job this year since his team had to overcome a NINE game deficit in the last month to catch the Red Sox not to mention a 7-0 deficit in Game 162 against New York just to get in.

Of course, ANYONE could have accomplished that feat with the starting rotation possessed by Tampa. Even though that staff has an average age of about 25-years old.

“But give me Maddon’s rotation and I’ll take on any team in baseball. And at the end of the season, there will at least be a wildcard playoff ticket in hand.”

Let’s take a look at some actual facts regarding the Maddon vs. Leyland comparison.

Maddon is the manager of a team that plays their games in the AMERICAN LEAGUE EAST. THREE teams in the East won over 90 games. The FOURTH PLACE squad (the Toronto Blue Jays) had a record of 81-81. And those teams play an unbalanced schedule which means they get to beat up on each other all season long.

Leyland managed a sqaud in the American League Comedy Central. The second place team wasn’t even .500!!!!!!

Not only did Maddon get his team to the playoffs in the toughest division in all of professional sports, he did so with a meager payroll of $41 million. The second lowest budget in all of MLB.

Comparatively speaking, the Yankees and Red Sox spent over $360 million on 2011 salary between the two of them!!!!!

The Tigers big free-agent acquisition of the offseason was Victor Martinez who did everything the team expected of him and then some.

The Rays impactful winter signing? Manny Ramirez, who failed a drug test during the first week of the season and promptly retired!!!!

Do you think Joaquin Benoit was integral to the Tigers 2011 success? I am guessing his former manager would have liked the luxury of a lockdown set-up man all season long. Umm, I forget, who was Benoit’s FORMER manager?

While the Rays had to replace their closer (Rafael Soriano), their star outfielder (Carl Crawford) and Benoit, Dombrowski kept plugging holes for Leyland.

Need a #2 starter, Jim? How about the second coming of Doyle Alexander (Doug Fister.)

Need a third baseman who can hit a little? How about Wilson Betemit?

Henning gave all of the credit for Tampa’s success to the Rays GM Andrew Friedman without mentioning the fact that Friedman was ACTUALLY A DETRIMENT in 2011 to his own team’s success.

Friedman kept his team’s best prospect, Desmond Jennings, buried in AAA until JULY 23rd because the team wanted to delay the stud outfielder becoming arbitration eligible by one year. When Jennings was FINALLY recalled he developed into one of the Rays best hitters.

Tampa management did the same damn thing with the best pitching prospect in all of baseball, Matt Moore. Because of financial concerns, Friedman kept the lefty flame thrower in the minors until the last week of September only to start him in GAME FREAKING ONE OF THE ALDS!!!

And all Moore did in that matchup against Texas was COMPLETELY SHUT THEM DOWN en route to a 9-0 victory. The kid pitched seven innings, gave up only two hits and struck out six. Ya think Moore might have been able to help the Rays over the course of a long season?!?!?!

So while Dombrowski (the co-executive of the year in MLB) was desperately doing everything possible to save his own ass and get the Tigers into the playoffs, FRIEDMAN WAS PUTTING UP BLOCKADES FOR MADDON that would have made Rachel Phelps blush.

I mean, you can’t make this shit up. And Henning has the nerve to write that ANYONE could have managed Tampa into the postseason.

Lynn should have mentioned the REAL REASON that he would have voted for Leyland over Maddon. There is absolutely no benefit professionally for him to write that Maddon did a superior job to Leyland. Until Shill gets a job with the St. Petersburg Times.

One Last Thing

I could go on and on about this moron’s idiotic takes in his last two columns including the premise that Atlanta has any interest in trading Martin Prado for Delmon Young when their GM (Frank Wren) has already said it isn’t going to happen.

But I will leave you with the following quote:

“He (DombrowskI) has now won a World Series in one league (with Florida) and taken the Tigers to a World Series and to a couple of post-season jaunts (counting the 163rd-game playoff in 2009) in the past five years.”

This dumbshit continues to count Game 163 against the Twins in 2009 as a postseason appearance. Even for an absolute shill, it is AMAZING that he would continue to give Dombrowski and Leyland CREDIT for making the “playoffs” in 2009 when the team suffered a monumental collapse and EMBARRASSINGLY MISSED THE FUCKING POSTSEASON.

There isn’t another person in the world that considers Game 163 a postseason appearance.

Actually, the stats for that game do count.


Trip and die, you asshole.