By Jeff Moss
September 1, 2016
Low-rated West Michigan sports radio scumbag Bill Simonson and GOP Presidential candidate Donald Trump share many common traits.
They both over exaggerate their business successes. They both brag about their “numbers” on social media even if they are total bullshit. The pair might be the two most insecure screwballs on the planet. They even share the same awful political takes.
They both claim to be diehard loyalists to the U.S. Military. Trump got out of service due to “bad feet” and then called the sexually-transmitted disease spread of the 80s his own personal Vietnam. Simonson bailed on serving because he couldn’t get a cushy gig on the Armed Forces Radio Network.
They’ve both been known to run a quasi pyramid scheme. The Donald with “Trump University” and Simonson with his radio show which allegedly spans all of Michigan (it doesn’t). The show is nothing more than an infomercial for his various naive sponsors. He isn’t on in Detroit and he is on a tape delay in Ann Arbor and Lansing.
But I hear he is really killing it in Petoskey.
But there is one comparison that some Michiganders make between the two sociopaths that really isn’t accurate. That they are both extremely litigious individuals.
Trump earned that reputation with a series of ridiculous lawsuits culminating with a claim against comedian Bill Maher because the HBO star made a joke about Trump being sired by an orangutan. Yes, that actually occurred.
All I have been hearing for the last couple of years whenever Huge Pile of Vomit appears on my radar is that the man is extremely litigious. But whom has he actually sued? Threatening a lawsuit isn’t being litigious. No, it’s being a pussy who thinks he can get away with bullying people with baseless intimidation.
He threatened to sue Eric Zane when that sellout hoe was part of the rival “Free Beer and Hot Wings” program. Zane is now working AM Drive on Simonson’s Grand Rapids station and kissing Simonson’s taint on a daily basis. But guess what? He never sued Zane or his former co-hosts Gregg Daniels and Chris Michels.
The insecure psychopath also threatened to sue the operator of the Michigan Buzzboard (a radio industry forum) but he never filed against that guy, either.
His latest threat of litigation came on the day that Gregg Henson made his Grand Rapids debut at ESPN 96.1FM. Multiple sources have informed me that Simonson sent the program director at WDFN-1130 a long, rambling letter threatening to sue iHeartRadio (they own both stations Henson is on in Michigan plus the channel he runs in Pittsburgh) if Henson were to enlist my assistance in declaring a radio war on Huge Pile of Vomit.
Instead of calling this dopey oaf’s bluff and reading that moronic letter on the air to mock the fool, the suits at iHeartRadio predictably caved to Simonson’s threats. Fucking cowards.
Everyone is terrified of this guy lawyering up.
WHOM HAS HE SUED? No one of any consequence as far as I can tell.
If he was going to sue anyone it would be ME and he hasn’t done that and he won’t do that. And do you know why?
Because other than having no legal leg to stand on, he would open himself up to my attorneys taking his deposition. And that would be one long session. He’d have to answer to his ex-wife’s legal team as well. And if Huge Pile of Vomit wanted to contest the claim that he cheated in a fantasy baseball league by ripping off his own kid in a trade, I guess we’d have to subpoena his son as well.
According to my team of crack attorneys, any potential libel or slander suit the dipshit would bring would be heard in Oakland County (where my posts and podcast originated) and not in Kent County, his fiefdom that he runs like a poor-complected version of Boss Hogg.
At this point you might be asking yourself why I even dedicate this much time to destroying this imbecile. He is in Grand Rapids and not germane to the market I cover. If anything, the only reason anyone in Detroit knows of this derelict is because of me.
This is all true, but the abject coward continues to go on his radio show and lie about me without having the testicular fortitude to actually name me, let alone put me on the air when I call in. He is the definition of chicken shit. I am not saying Simonson is a studio gangsta, but he makes Mike Valenti look like Rude Jude by comparison.
He also kept me off his radio station when Ryan Schuiling was still working there. He has allegedly meddled in Schuiling’s career and cost the Lansing radio host vocational opportunities. I have also been told that Huge Pile of Vomit has made sure that I never appear on WTKA-1050 in Ann Arbor even though there are DSR fans employed there.
And I would not be shocked if he terrified iHeartRadio execs into keeping me off Henson’s show as well. Not that I give two shits about any of these potential opportunities but the principal remains the same.
This walking, talking fuckstick has made an enemy out of me and I won’t relent. I will take pleasure in watching Henson cannibalize Simonson’s audience.
One of Cumulus’ top ad salespersons just walked across the street from Simonson’s station and will now be generating revenue for 96.1 ….. ya know … where Henson is now working.
The next step is people of good conscience to stop appearing on this douche bag’s program. I am looking at you Kyle Meinke, Mario Impemba and Tom Izzo.
The walls are closing in on you, Biff. And it couldn’t happen to a bigger asshole.
Here is video of the DSR’s Melrose Jerry Green interviewing Simonson at Meijer in Ann Arbor on Friday:
And here is audio from Simonson’s show where a caller asked him if he “still talks his ex-wfie”:
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