By Jeff Moss
June 27, 2012
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
It’s not like I have been eagerly awaiting commencement of the NHL’s unrestricted free-agency period or anything, but I do have a widget on my MacBook counting down the hours until July 1, 2012.
And as I write this column, the countdown clock states that Red Wings GM Ken Holland only has three days, ten hours and three minutes remaining before he can start poaching UFAs.
Unfortunately, what was once considered a countdown to a historic spending spree by the Wings might as well be a ticking time bomb to the most depressing Detroit hockey experience since Richard Gnida decided to toke up before piloting a limousine down Woodward Avenue.
I am writing this article almost as a Public Service Announcement for Red Wings fans because I am worried that some of you plan on pulling out your car flags on Sunday to cruise down Eureka and Dix and just wait for the big Detroit signings to occur.
But, the closer July 1st creeps up on the hockey world, the more concerned I am that the Wings will be left holding the proverbial bag while their prized targets sign elsewhere.
Look, I am not trying to piss on anyone’s parade or denigrate their NHL knowledge in this space because until very recently, I had the same delusions of grandeur as most of you.
For years we have looked forward to the summer of 2012 as some sort of elixir to all of the teams woes. Not unlike Robin Roberts’ pending bone-marrow transplant, Detroit hockey fans figured this coming Sunday would result in an infusion of premium new blood for the franchise thus ending the current roster stagnation.
We had it all mapped out. Brad Stuart would head back to Northern California to be closer to his family and the Wings would add two blue-chip UFAs. Ryan Suter, for sure. And hopefully his Team USA pal, Zach Parise, as well.
And then, following this pending season, Nick Lidstrom would retire after winning his fifth ring and the Wings would replace him with Suter’s Nashville teammate, Shea Weber, who himself will be unrestricted next summer.
Well, the only part of the above referenced fantasy that has occurred as of this writing is Stuart signing with the Sharks because the defenseman’s wife’s ex-husband refuses to allow his daughter to leave California as part of a custody dispute.
And now with only three days, nine hours and fifty-seven minutes remaining until D-Day, it would appear that the Wings will be extremely lucky if they can just land Suter. A signing that most fans figured was just a formality for more than a year now.
Because teams all over North America have JUST as much disposable cash to sign these guys as the Wings. The Pittsburgh Penguins spent their entire draft weekend dumping salary in an effort to sign Suter and Parise.
The reigning Stanley Cup champion, Los Angeles Kings, have plenty of dough at their disposal to make a serious run at either Parise or Suter as well.
Look, this isn’t 2008 and Holland isn’t going to get a phone call while pumping gas at a Mobil station from Marian Hossa’s agent in which a discussion of the preeminent free-agent on the market coming to Detroit on a one-year deal is deliberated.
I mean, what do the Wings REALLY have to offer a potential franchise player in the year 2012?
They aren’t exactly coming off back-to-back Stanley Cup runs. Nope, they are still licking their wounds from a FIRST ROUND playoff exit at the hands of Suter’s team.
They lost to the Predators, who were easily defeated by the Phoenix Coyotes who were summarily dispatched by the Los Angeles Kings. Not exactly a six-degrees of separation resume for a world-beater.
Hell, Parise was a key component on a team that actually reached the Stanley Cup Finals this past spring.
The lure of “Hockeytown?” Hahahahaha. If this really were “Hockeytown”, ESPN1090 would be putting up J.P. McCarthy/Dick Purtan like ratings based on their inordinate amount of NHL coverage instead of registering a zero share.
I won’t even entertain a discussion about Detroit being labeled “Hockeytown” over Montreal, Toronto or even Medicine Hat so let’s just focus on the USA.
Did you check out the TV ratings for the LA/NJ series? More viewers percentage wise watched the Finals in BUFFALO than Los Angeles or the Greater New York and New Jersey area COMBINED.
Buffalo. Not the Motor City. Buff-uh-LOW.
So how about Detroit and the surrounding suburbs? Nowhere to be found in the Nielsens. This isn’t “Hockeytown” anymore than it is “JobCreationCity” or “LowCrimeMunicipality.”
Do you know what the Red Wings represent to a potential UFA? A team that has seen its better days, with a couple of aging superstars, playing in one of the most antiquated “barns” in the league.
Does anyone really believe that the Winged Wheel jersey or Original 6 nostalgia is going to land Suter, Parise or even a Justin Schultz? If so, ya might be out of your freaking mind.
Even the team’s biggest potential drawing card, owner Mike Ilitch, isn’t what he once was. Let’s just say Suter decides to sign in Detroit for a seven-year deal. Guess what? If Mr. I is still alive at the end of that contract, he will be NINETY YEARS-OLD.
Really, when Holland and Jim Nill sit down with a guy like Parise who will likely receive offers from the Devils, maybe the Cup champs and his hometown Wild, who plan on making a HUGE financial commitment to the winger, what will Wings brass offer the 30-goal scorer in return?
“Hey Zach, not sure if you heard or not, but that horse who won the Kentucky Derby and Preakness is owned by a Red Wings Super Fan. So, like, if you sign on this dotted line, I am sure we can get you a cool pony ride on I’ll Have Another.”
Not exactly the allure of joining forces with Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, is it?
Seriously, what is the pitch going to be? I am dying to know because it might help with my agita over the next few days. From where I am sitting, almost two-thirds of the league has goofy Monopoly money to throw at these guys.
And can we spend a minute discussing how monumentally stupid the NHL continues to be that they are allowing free-agency to start on July 1st when the current CBA expires on September 15th?!?!
I mean, when the NBA had their lockout, they didn’t allow free-agents to sign with new teams before the terms of the new CBA was hammered out. No, they had an expedited free-agency period AFTER the new deal was ratified.
Same with the NFL. Because, you know, it might be a good idea for team management to actually know their budget and salary cap restraints before making multi-year, $60 million commitments to available talent.
And you can be sure that some jackhole (Scott Howson, Garth Snow or another moron) will give Jiri Hudler a three-year deal for $15 million and then come Labor Day that SAME franchise will complain that players are getting too much of the revenue pie when they are sitting across from Donald Fehr at the bargaining table.
I will say this about Gary Bettman though; nobody has ever accused him of fixing the draft lottery or derogating to Jim Rome. Of course, people would actually have to care about the NHL Draft and Bettman would have to get booked in the Jungle for either of those to occur.
I really, really, really hope that I am wrong about all of this and that I am just being my normal pessimistic self.
Because if the Wings don’t land a couple of premium UFAs, I have zero faith that Holland will be able to improve this roster via trade.
In his entire tenure as the team’s GM, he has only made ONE deal that removed a key component from the Wings roster in exchange for a superstar. And that was Slava Kozlov for Dominik Hasek.
11. Years. Ago.
The guy has shown less imagination and creativity than Ed Norton’s character in “The Italian Job.”
(Oh, are you whining I had to stretch that far back in my Rolodex to come up with an “Italian Job” reset? Well, that movie was released two years AFTER the last blockbuster deal that Ken Holland made.)
Look, I am not even desperate for the Wings to add Suter and Parise because I demand the franchise win another Stanley Cup immediately. I am not a spoiled Boston or New York sports fan who has zero appreciation of their four titles in the last 15 years.
The Wings do not owe us much. But speaking as someone who psychotically watches this team about 70 times a year, I would at least enjoy a few new faces on the roster, not unlike wanting your favorite TV show to add a couple of new characters to spice things up in Season 4.
How many times can you watch the Wings versus the Blue Jackets with this same, tired old roster?
And speaking of television programs, I will end this column on the following note. On the night Steve Yzerman hoisted Lord Stanley to the JLA roof in 1997, I was sitting in Section 110, Row 3, Seat 3.
Approximately ten rows behind me on this momentous evening was actor and well-known Wings fan, Jeff Daniels.
So, when you ask me what makes the Red Wings the model NHL franchise in the year 2012 …… I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about ……
“Yosemite?”