By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
June 20, 2013

A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article about WXYT-FM’s (97.1) latest hire.  Some embarrassingly naive reporter who wasn’t even engaged by CBS Radio to appear on-air.  Her name is Ashley Dunkak and I totally eviscerated her in the first couple days she was a reporter in Detroit.

The column received a mix response from longtime DSR collaborators.  Justin Spiro and Michael Bochenek thought it was one of the greatest takedown articles ever written.  By anyone.  Ever.

While others (including DSR co-founder Gregg Schultz) thought a 1,100 word arta-kill about a non-entity who nobody cared about was the final straw in my slow crawl towards insanity and a clear sign that I needed immediate mental health assistance.

The article touched off such a firestorm among the inner DSR circle that Spiro and Bochenek actually visited my wife at her place of employment to implore her that there was NO need for me to start seeing a pyschiatrist.  They required Uncensored and Unhinged Moss to continue writing articles for the website and didn’t want anything to impede my vitriolic columns.

I am not making any of this up.  None of this is embellished.   Which is why I feel every Tweet I make or every article I post is now a referendum on my mental health.

So …. I debated internally whether or not to write an article discussing Eric Thomas’ latest abortion of a blog post, Terry Foster’s restaurant opening and a Ryan Ermanni racially charged Tweet.

Well, Spiro and Bochenek won this round in the fight for my soul.

What do Reese’s Pieces, Pandemic!, David Duke, Money Mike, the DMC, Jay-Z and Rip Torn have in common? They are all part of Thursday Morning Mossisms™ .

ET … Phone a Fucking Clue

If Dunkak is at the bottom of the 97.1 totem pole, she is only one rung below Eric Thomas who works overnights at the station.

He is an extremely valued member of the CBS Radio family as you can tell by his Tweet below where he admits that the huge media conglomerate doesn’t even pay for his health insurance.  I mean, how intoxicating is the sports radio business that one would be willing to work at a station that paid them table scraps and refused to provide health insurance?

I have health insurance! (and its way better than that demon union one i used to have) #ThanksObama

— etflint (@etflint) January 9, 2013

Anyway, this bottom feeder at 97.1 is obviously desperate for any sort of attention so he posted a blog on the 97.1 website Wednesday where he made the case that Miguel Cabrera wasn’t the Tigers Most Valuable Player and that it actually was Austin Jackson.

I am not going to enter into a long diatribe on why this premise is so fucking stupid.  Anyone who has a basic understanding of baseball is aware that Miguel Cabrera is far more valuable than Jackson.

There isn’t an advanced metric or an old school statistic that can possibly make the case otherwise so I am not going to lecture you that the sun is hot.

But, I do want to comment on two comments from this fucktard’s piece.

A-Jax is a five-tool player on a team bereft of them. His bat has improved immensely since his strikeout laden season in 2011. He gets on base, and once he’s there he has speed.

A main argument of Thomas’ was that Austin Jackson gets on base a lot.  His on-base percentage is .353 this season which is good, but not great.  Cabrera’s OBP? .452.  Almost exactly ONE-HUNDRED POINTS HIGHER.

I mean, Jackson’s OBP ranks FIFTH on the Tigers team.  So A-Jax isn’t even the most valuable at GETTING ON-BASE.

And I purposely italicized Thomas’ main argument “WAS” because he edited his post after I attacked him on Twitter over it.  It would appear that he minimized the OBP argument after several of my followers mocked him.

But, I do have visual evidence for you about another error in Thomas’ horrible blog.  The dumbass who works for a “SPORTS” station that airs a Major League Baseball team’s games wrote the following in his original posting:

“You can’t get an RBI without a guy on base, and Jackson is often on the bags.”

You. Can’t. Get. An. RBI. Without. A. Guy. On. Base.  Read that about ten more times.

I don’t know about you, but I think I was four-years old when I learned that a solo home run earned the hitter an RBI.  Are you fucking KIDDING ME?!??!?!??!

I know it is hard to believe that an employee of a “sports” station does not comprehend such a basic baseball stat, but here is a screen shot providing evidence:

(Click on the image to make it larger)

Hey, Eric this is a basic baseball glossary.   You can brush up on these crazy stats like ERA and K’s and maybe, just maybe, CBS Radio will discover that you are a valuable employee whose health care is a priority.

Ryan the Racist 

Thomas’ RBI post wasn’t the only thing disappearing on the Internet Wednesday.  One of the more despicable characters in the Detroit sports media, Ryan Ermanni of Fox-2 was back up to his old tricks on Twitter.

First, let me give you a little bit of background on Ermanni and the DSR.

Back in March 2012, my Facebook cover photo was a picture of Bodie from The Wire.   If you didn’t watch the program, Bodie was played by an African-American actor.

I am not exactly sure why, but some members of the DSR ended up on Ermanni’s Facebook page back then and we were giving him the business™ (Wally Cleaver) about some idiotic comment he had made.

Well, one of Ermanni’s friends didn’t like the abuse that Ryan was getting and took particular offense to one of my posts.  This friend took one look at my photo of the ficticious Baltimore drug dealer, thought I was black and started dropping some of the most racially tinged comments I have ever seen.

This FRIEND of Ermanni called me the “N-Word” several times.  When he got bored with that ugly term he referred to me as a “spear chucker.”  I was in utter shock at this turn of events.

I mean, I was on the FACEBOOK page of a recognizable media personality, not playing “Call of Duty” or at a Michael Richards concert.

The only thing more shocking than this douche bag’s behavior was Ermanni’s.  Instead of deleting this BUDDY from Facebook, he started banning all of the DSR people who were asking why he was tolerating this KKK-esque rant.

The friend?? He never blocked the guy.  In fact, his pal was from Chicago and AFTER the racist dropped enough N-bombs to make Katt Williams blush, Ermanni discussed making PLANS with him the next time he was in the Windy City.

I shit you not.

There have been other DSR incidents with Ermanni as well.  After a Tigers game last fall, Ermanni got into a war of words with Spiro in front of Cheli’s Chili Bar.  This supposed representative of Fox-2 was dropping F-bombs all over the place.  Within a few feet of a Fox-2 truck while young children were walking by with their eyes glazed over.

And then in January at a Wings game, Ermanni told a couple of my fans in the bathroom of the JLA that the DSR was a site “for assholes and fags!”

So that’s the backstory.  Now here’s Ermanni’s Tweet from Wednesday:

What a sad day for the city of Detroit. With Duggan out, what’s left? More of the same, uninspiring choices. Sad sad day for the city

Yes, what a sad, sad day for the city.  Because now that the Great White Carpetbagger wasn’t on the ballot,  Detroit would be stuck with the same uninspiring choices.  Ya, know.  Black candidates.

I might have given the jackass the benefit of the doubt that this wasn’t an overtly racist Tweet except for his past history.

AND the fact that he DELETED it just a few minutes later.

The day before this occurred, Ermanni was in Oakland Township covering the search for Jimmy Hoffa’s body which ended predictably without a corpse.

The FBI could have done us all a favor on Tuesday by burying this racist, homophobe under a slab and taking off.   At least the taxpayers would have gotten SOMETHING for their money.

Grand Opening, Grand Closing

On Friday, the restaurant with Terry Foster’s name on it will open in Fraser, Michigan at the former location of Schmiddy’s Restaurant and Sports Haven.

It will be the third restaurant in that location and I figured I better write about the place before it goes out of business.

I have a few questions about this endeavor of Foster’s and if his employers at 97.1 and the Detroit News have a brain in their heads, they’d want the answers also.

Ok, so we know from Foster’s own words that he doesn’t have an ownership interest in this joint.  The money men just want to use Foster’s “good” name (hahahahahahaa) in exchange for a percentage of the profits (hahahahahahahaha.)

So, if you were opening up a restaurant and trying to capitalize off the fame of a person’s name, wouldn’t you call it that “celebrity’s” FULL name?

The place is called Foster’s Smokehouse.  Why the hell would you not call it Terry Foster’s Smokehouse? Foster isn’t exactly an uncommon name.  Wouldn’t you want to get the maximum bang for your buck?

Look, NOBODY is going to drive by this place and make the association with Terry Foster unless they already know he is involved.  This isn’t exactly Yzerman’s Bar and Grill or Dumars’ House of Prime Rib.

Which is exactly the point.  The investors in this place are smarter than you think.  They have figured out an ingenious way to game the system and avoid the expensive ad buys at 97.1.  How much free advertising has Foster already done on the WXYT airwaves for these people and the joint hasn’t even opened!!

They are supposedly going to pay Foster out of the profits and they are banking on him discussing it on his show, Tweeting about it ad nauseum,  blogging about it and how long will it be before there is a mention in the News?

If I was the Program Director at 97.1,  I would first hang myself from my office door then call this opportunist co-hosting the 2-6 pm slot weekdays in and tell him that he isn’t allowed to mention his smokehouse on the air.   Ever.

The only thing missing from this transparent attempt to circumvent WXYT’s advertising costs is Foster handing out a Jokeman, Jr. to the first 50 patrons to walk through the Smokehouse’s doors Friday night.

And is Foster that naive to think his “partners” are going to give him an accurate accounting of sales? I have represented a ton of restaurant owners in my lifetime and the one thing they ALL tell me is that if you aren’t constantly in attendance at your business the employees will rob you blind.

Not only does Foster have to worry about the workers, he has to worry about the owners!!!!!!  I mean …..

Look at this dive.  The only question is if this place will stay in business longer than “Hey Now” Hank Kingsley’s “revolving” restaurant or Foster’s failed candy shop at Lakeside Mall.

The DSR will be having an outing at Foster’s Smokehouse in the very near future and I will give you a full breakdown of the food and atmosphere.

We better do it quick though, with rent around $7,000 per month, this venture is already on life support.  Of course, if it is still open on Saturday, it will have exceeded the lifespan of Hank’s Look-Around Cafe.