By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
February 26, 2016

And then there were eight. The Excrement Eight is set after third round matches were completed on Thursday evening. Here are the results:

RONA DANZIGER REGION

1] Chris McCosky 39%
4] Tom Mazawey 61%

2] Anthony Fenech 83%
6] Rod Allen 17%

JASON DIXON REGION

1] Drew Sharp 96%
5] Gregg Krupa 4%

2] Mitch Albom 49.8%
3] Matt Dery 50.2%

GENE MYERS REGION

1] Lynn Henning 65%
12] Rob Parker 35%

2] Scott Anderson 65%
3] Graham Couch 35%

E.J. Mitchell Region

1] Terry Foster 69%
5] Pat Caputo  31%

2] Helene St. James 51%
6] Marc Fellhauer 49%

Excrement Eight Games

2] Anthony Fenech vs. 4] Tom Mazawey

Analysis: A disgusting human being versus a concierge who gets EVERYTHING wrong in life.

Fenech’s resume includes predicting the Tigers would be buyers at the 2015 trade deadline; lying about this when it didn’t come true; posting a picture on Twitter of himself with a huge zit; posting players’ birthdays; running a countdown clock to Opening Day; mocking fans who rightfully believed Torii Hunter was historically awful in the field; posting batting practice statistics; telling Mad Dog Russo (errr, Sour Shoes) that I was “jealous” of him; and much, much more.

There was also the discovery that Fenech stalked another female in college at CMU. No, not the woman he sexually harassed at CMLife. A totally different young lady.

Mazawey was no slouch himself. His sports takes are the worst in the city — from believing the Tigers should buy at the deadline just moments before becoming sellers to thinking the Lions were still going to make the playoffs after their abysmal start.

This balding imbecile makes Scott Anderson look a Detroit sports team hater.

Who Will Win: Anthony Fenech
Who Should Win: Zit McGee

1] Drew Sharp vs. 4] Matt Dery

Analysis: A rematch of one of last year’s Excrement Eight battles that was won by Sharp. We have gone over these two dipshits’ transgressions ad nauseum over the last few months so we aren’t going to rehash it all.

Do you vote for an unrepentant plagiarist troll or for a man who said that a girl who got tea-bagged by Peyton Manning looked “loose.” How is this not the FINAL?

Like, these two are on the SAME SHOW!!!! And you wonder why community access programs get better ratings than 105.1

Who Will Win: Drew Sharp
Who Should Win: Drew Sharp 

(I plagiarized the “Who Should Win” answer from the “Who Will Win” question.)

1] Lynn Henning vs. 2] Scott Anderson

Analysis: Yep, a rematch of last year’s razor-thin final that went to the 44-year-old virgin by two votes. And don’t think Henning has forgotten that bitter loss.

Henning has been training for 365 days for this rematch and I would be surprised if the manatee can upset him again.

Not only did Lynn have another awful year discussing Tigers baseball (he actually predicted the Tigers wouldn’t sign any expensive free-agents and continued to claim he was correct regarding his Joba Chamberlain $50-million prediction), he even fell apart politically.

His liberal ethos was his one redeeming quality and he even fucked that up by saying you should expect physical violence if you mock someone’s religion and by continuing his obsession with Joe Biden entering the race.

Still.

As late as last week.

I mean ….

Anderson had his typical year of denying math exists; blocking out the sun; and fellating every Detroit sports team. Another fucking moron who thought the Tigers should buy at the deadline.

Who Will Win: Lynn Henning
Who Should Win: Mr. Imperfect

1] Terry Foster vs. 2] Helene St. James

Analysis: The 2014 champion against the first female to make the Excrement Eight.

Foster had another banner year after failing to make the Fucked-Up Four in 2015 due to fatigue. His two highlights were wondering if getting an oil change for his car led to ISIS beheadings and pronouncing the word “hyperbole” ….. hyberBOWL.

Yep. This man is so stupid, we had to rename the championship of this event the hyperBOWL brought to you by ML Curley. 

And do we even have to mention how he has turned his Instagram account into an advertisement for XFinity? What a piece of shit shill.

Human. Debris.

St. James reached this point solely based on her love affair with Ken Holland and her failure to critique the Red Wings organization.

Ever.

But this will probably be the end of the run for our glass-ceiling breaker ….

Who Will Win: Terry Foster
Who Should Win: Helene St. James**

** — I really like the Red Wings and this shithead embodies why this town actually believes Holland is good at his job.