By Jeff Moss
August 9, 2011
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
At around 11:30 am on Monday word started leaking out through Twitter that Lions rookie running back Mikel Leshoure had suffered a torn Achilles and would miss the entire 2011 season.
About an hour later my phone almost caught on fire when news broke that Dave Dombrowski and Jim Leyland both received contract extensions from Tigers owner Mike Ilitch.
My first thought was this was some sort of coordinated Al-Qaeda attack on Detroit sports teams and I wanted to immediately get Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg to a bunker at NORAD and Charlie Villanueva and Richard Hamilton to the most SUSCEPTIBLE location for a terrorist mission.
Luckily all of my investments are of the four-legged equine variety and not in the stock market or the late morning and early afternoon news might have sent me on an Anders Behring Breivik-like violence spree.
Anyway, with an article posted on Monday and a Tigers day-off scheduled I figured I was going to get a nice leisurely day away from the DSR. Maybe take in a little psychotic behavior on the season premiere of ABC’s “Bachelor Pad.”
But for me not to respond to Dombrowski’s extension through 2015 and Cancer Stick’s new deal through 2012 would be like Bill Maher passing on commenting about Rick Perry’s Prayer-a-Palozoa.
Not. Going. To. Happen.
And while I have a feeling some of my thoughts aren’t going to make the frothing masses very happy, here we go:
1) First, let’s start with the Dombrowski extension. I really have no issue with this move nor was I under any illusion that DD’s job was in serious jeopardy barring a mammoth flop this year.
A lot of the comments I have read about the new contract is that the timing is bad. Well, (SPOILER ALERT!) the timing for a Leyland extension would NEVER have been good, but I can’t say the same about Dombrowski.
Look, I haven’t been a huge fan of the guy’s recent work. Trading Scott Sizemore for a shitty lefty relief pitcher who couldn’t find home plate with Google Earth and then basically releasing him two months later is indefensible.
Spending a ridiculous amount of assets (trading prospects, high draft choices, big-time FA money, forfeiting picks because of compensation issues, etc.) on the bullpen and still having problems is atrocious.
And we can rehash all of the awful extensions in the past (Dontrelle, Nate Robertson, Jeremy Manderbon, etc.) and his moronic decision to give Brandon Inge a two-year deal worth almost $12 million last winter, but look at where the team is NOW.
Their starting rotation is young and basically locked up for the next four years barring injury. I am pretty sure most owners would die for a Verlander-Porcello-Turner-Scherzer-Fister staff for the next few seasons.
And as maddening as it was to bring Shani’s Husband back, DD did target Victor Martinez over Adam Dunn, he re-signed Jhonny Peralta when a majority of the fan base weren’t thrilled with the move and Brennan Boesch and Alex Avila have both developed into quality big leaguers under his watch.
(Not to mention, the only person who KNOWS why Placido Polanco wasn’t re-signed or why Curtis Granderson was traded just gave his GM a four-year extension.)
And the team has a commanding lead in their awful division (only the Phillies enjoy a bigger edge as of this writing) while spending MUCH less on payroll than the White Sox and $7 million less than the Twins.
I know I have been borderline schizophrenic regarding the Tigers current General Manager, but I just couldn’t see Ilitch pulling the plug on the guy which in turn would have led to a major organizational upheaval.
I am sorry, but after going through the Randy Smith era I am just not real anxious about Ilitch bringing in a new front office.
If Randy Smith was Glenn Close’s character in Fatal Attraction then Dombrowski is kind of like Isla Fisher in the Wedding Crashers. Yeah, something wasn’t exactly right with Vince Vaughn’s stalker, but she was still pretty harmless and basically wanted to please.
And I am under no Lynn Henning-like hypnotic trance that the Tigers minor league system is anything BUT IN THE BOTTOM THIRD OF MLB and I still don’t understand why DD gave $1.5 million to Elder Iorg coming off a two-year mission, but what GM in baseball is perfect?
The Yankees have a total team salary of $202 million. In other words, if you added the FIRST PLACE Tigers payroll and the FIRST PLACE Rangers payroll together, you would still have room to sign another $5 million player before hitting the Bronx budget.
And last time I checked, even with a $202 million payroll, the Yankees are still throwing out Bartolo Colon and Freddy Garcia twice every five days which would have be alright if this was 2005.
The Red Sox have spent $161 million on talent this year and they still will be relying upon a 45-year old knuckleball pitcher, John Lackey and Erik Bedard when they get to the postseason.
So the Tigers are contending, they are drawing big crowds at Comerica Park and their future looks pretty damn good.
Did you REALLY think that Ilitch was going to get rid of Dombrowski, Al Avila, David Chadd, Scott Reid and John Westhoff and start over from scratch at the age of 82?
Of course he wasn’t and the only thing surprising is that THIS particular extension took so long in the first place.
2) And that last paragraph brings an end to the measured, relaxed and patient Jeff Moss because for the fucking life of me I can’t understand the Cancer Stick extension.
I can buy the Dombrowski contract because he has provided Leyland a team that SHOULD win the American League Central with a fairly reasonable payroll. They have a four-game lead on August 9th over a Cleveland Indians team that has been tanking for months and quite frankly isn’t ready to win the division.
I mean, not only should Emaciated Adolf NOT have received the extension, he shouldn’t even be the manager of this team NOW.
After the managerial malpractice he performed in September and October of the 2009 season that culminated in the Game 163 loss he should have been shit-canned on the spot.
Leyland managed the last week of the 2009 season like he was in charge of some barnstorming team that was playing exhibition games and not in the midst of a monumental collapse.
Resting Magglio Ordonez and Placido Polanco.
Starting ALFREDO FIGARO IN THE LAST WEEKEND OF THE SEASON. (Since starting Game 161 in 2009, Figaro has STARTED ONE GAME in the majors. And now he is toiling in Japan.)
Allowing Gerald Laird to set a modern day record for leaving men on base in one game. (I hear Leyland had some kid named Avila on that team. Of course, Alex ONLY had a .965 OPS in his rookie year so I can see why Laird was allowed to go 0-for-6 in a do-or-die game.)
Not utilizing his ENTIRE roster and allowing Fernando Rodney to throw FORTY-EIGHT PITCHES in three innings of work.
I could go on and on about this fuckstick’s disastrous decisions in that pennant race, but I would like to enjoy my three-cheese Olga that Melissa is bringing me for dinner.
The point is, how does Ilitch know that we aren’t going to get a regurgitation of those 2009 maneuvers?
And even if this team wins the Central (which has been put on a silver platter for them), would anyone in Detroit be happy with a three-game sweep at the hands of the Yankees™ (Minnesota Twins) in the ALDS?
I really wonder if Dombrowski was even on board with the Leyland extension. But because the two were both lame ducks as late as this weekend, could DD even have said to Ilitch, “Hey, can we hold off with this Leyland contract?”
Or was he just so happy to get another big dollar extension through 2015 and figured he would fight the Leyland battle another day?
Are you seriously telling me that Dombrowski doesn’t have any resentment towards Leyland for totally blowing the 2009 season?
Are Tigers fans the only ones who don’t understand why the team acquired Wilson Betemit and he only plays three times a week even though he has come through with clutch hits and is hitting .282 with a .759 OPS since arriving in Detroit?
You would think that might perplex the guy who ACQUIRED him and in the process gave up two prospects to solidify the third base position.
How can a man who has been a GM for the better part of three decades be satisfied with his manager writing in the name of a guy with a .597 OPS in the three-hole every day?
(Yeah, I know that Dombrowski cut Ordonez a ten-million dollar check last December, but I doubt there is language in that deal that guarantees the Venezuelan right fielder a permanent spot in front of Cabrera in the order.)
Does anyone else find it interesting that Leyland received an extension while none of his Pittsburgh Posse staff did? Which leads me to …….
3) A one-year extension that comes during August in the last year of the contract isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement. (Even if Leyland tells anyone who will listen that this is the way he wants it.)
I am not sure if it is wishful thinking, but if something does go haywire in the last two months of the season and we have 2009 Part Deux, I wonder if this extension doesn’t just become a nice parting gift for the Crazy Old Man Doing Crazy Old Man Things™ (Michael Bochenek.)
Or if this team somehow can’t hold on to the four-game lead and they fail to make the playoffs, would it be a surprise if DD orders Leyland to replace a Gene Lamont or a Lloyd McClendon knowing full well that Cancer Stick would fall on his lit Marlboro before getting rid of one of his cronies?
4) The one reason that the re-signing of Leyland has me only mildly aggravated as opposed to full-blown hysterics is that I am hoping that the Tigers win the World Series anyhow.
As much as I hate the man and wouldn’t shed a tear if he croaked, I still adamantly refuse to root against the Tigers just so the asshole gets fired.
It has been 27 years since we have won a title and I am not about to cut my nose off to spite my face when the best pitcher (Verlander) and best hitter (Cabrera) the team has employed in my lifetime are in the PRIME OF THEIR CAREERS.
So I was basically stuck one way or another. I had already resigned myself to Leyland’s return if the team was successful and I am still not 100 percent positive that another EPIC FAIL won’t lead to a managerial upheaval anyway.
Not sure if you are aware of this, but coaches and managers WITH contracts have been fired before. Like, even ones with MULTI-YEAR deals. And yes, even ones who were given extensions in the very recent past.
5) When I did get word that Leyland was extended I kind of got the sensation that David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel and [Talentless, Thieving Hack with a HUGE Chin] must have felt when George W. Bush was re-elected to a second term.
Yeah, it was a monumentally awful moment for the country when Dubya got another four years, but it sure as shit provided a ton of new material for those late-night hosts.
And while I would HAPPILY welcome a new manager who doesn’t induce seizures and aneurysms with his lineups and in-game decisions, it looks like I am going to enjoy an ample amount of material for the next 14 months.
Yeah, I am probably in denial.