By Jeff Moss
May 8, 2012
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
Who would ever thought it possible that a 67-year old bag of bones like Jim Leyland could be an aficionado of the Beastie Boys?
But after the last few days of inept managing I can only fathom that moves like pulling Doug Fister after 73 pitches or moving Ryan Raburn UP in the batting order when he possesses a .361 OPS are some misguided Leyland homage to the Brooklyn rap group after their induction into the Rock and Roll of Hall of Fame and the untimely death of MCA.
“You’re scheming on a thing that’s a mirage. I’m trying to tell you now it’s a sabotage. Why; Our backs are now against the wall. Listen all of y’all it’s a sabotage. Listen all of y’all it’s a sabotage.”
And yes, I believe the guy should get fired, but don’t call me a reactionary over 29 games. Because I don’t think he should get axed for removing Fister from a game where had thrown 73 of the most non-stressful pitches you have ever seen.
(And yes, I am fully aware that this was Fister’s first start since coming off the DL. But he did toss 68 pitches in his REHAB start so there is no fucking way the righty couldn’t have thrown 90 plus pitches based on how effortless he looked out there. I mean, the Mariners looked like they were participating in some sort of simulated game for Christ’s sake.)
And I don’t believe that Dave Dombrowski should pink-slip Cancer Stick because he pulled Phil Coke for Octavio Dotel after the team’s loony lefty retired the Mariners in the eighth inning on eight pitches in a virtuoso performance. Even though it was borderline retarded to do so.
Furthermore, I don’t believe that Terry Francona should be managing this team instead of Leyland due to the fact he didn’t pull Dotel from the game on Monday night after it was ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that the reliever couldn’t find Safeco’s home plate with the assistance of GPS, OnStar, Mapquest and Anthony Hopkins’ character in “The Edge.”
No, I don’t think Emaciated Hitler should be let go for any of the above actions. Because if it was up to me, the career FIVE-HUNDRED manager wouldn’t be in the Tigers dugout in the FIRST PLACE.
The guy should have been gone when he managed the Tigers to a LAST PLACE finish in the pathetic AL Central in 2008 after the team was a prohibitive favorite to make the postseason.
Or when he was partially responsible for the 2009 collapse that culminated with the heartbreaking defeat against the Twins in Game 163 he should have been served his walking papers before leaving the terminal at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.
Today it is batting Raburn sixth coming off an 0-for-4 performance in which all of his hitting statistics make Brandon Inge chuckle. The same Ryan Raburn who is historically known for not being able to hit before AUGUST. Then it was starting Alfredo Figaro in a crucial matchup with the White Sox in the final week of the season instead of bumping Rick Porcello up a day.
And [Verlander] forbid Leyland would have pitched Porcello ONCE on short rest in ’09. What would have possibly happened to the 20-year old kid? Would he have struggled over the next few seasons and never replicated that 2009 success? OH.
And I know that I am writing these words in vain because there is ZERO chance Cancer Stick is going anywhere unless the cigarette smoking catches up to him, but this is the only place I have to vent about this abortion of a decision maker.
Which means we will continue to suffer through decisions like Inge pinch-HITTING days before his outright release. Alexis Gomez getting World Series at-bats in 2006 and then NEVER appearing in a Major League game for the rest of his LIFE. Continued obsessions with light-hitting losers like Neifi Perez, Adam Everett and Don Kelly.
Look, this team could make the playoffs like they did in 2006 and 2011, choke away the season like in 2009 or totally shit the bed as they did in 2008.
It won’t change the fact that Leyland is a lousy manager and his continued existence only leaves the door open for potential decisions like Fernando Rodney throwing 45 pitches in that infamous Game 163. (Yes, our closer in the most important regular season game since 1987 threw 28 fewer pitches than Fister tossed LAST NIGHT.)
Or Gerald Laird going 0-for-6 with ten men left on base in that same game because the team’s shithead manager decided to stop playing Alex Avila and his .965 OPS regularly late in September. Meaning the rookie catcher was ice cold when his left-handed bat might have come in handy in that play-in matchup.
After 3,203 career games as a skipper, the miserable bully is a whopping THREE games over .500. This is the Detroit media’s savior. A crusty curmudgeon with a SAMPLE SIZE of over 3,200 games who has lost as many games as he has won.
While a manager with a win percentage of .529 for his career and two World Series rings this century is relegated to shooting the shit with Karl Ravech and Buster Olney on a nightly basis.
So when you ask me if I think Jim Leyland should be fired based on ANOTHER poor start with a team that has sky-high expectations ……
Well, let me quote another Rock and Roll HOF inductee.
“Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.”