By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 19, 2015
I have nothing personal against Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford. Since his arrival in Detroit in 2009, he has done nothing but represent the franchise in an exemplary fashion off the field.
The man has been a model citizen and while you can debate whether or not he is the QB to lead this team going forward or if his failure to win a postseason game as a professional makes him a failure, you can’t argue about his standing in this community.
His wife is an altogether different silicone- or saline-filled situation. Other than the team’s Minister of Propaganda Bill Keenist, there isn’t anyone connected to the organization whom I have more disdain for than Kelly B. Hall Stafford.
The woman is straight out of central casting as the star quarterback’s “trophy” wife: The seemingly airheaded ex-cheerleader with a pair of inflatable Spalding basketballs implanted in her chest who latched onto the gazillion-dollar right arm of Stafford while they attended UGA.
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Not since Jimmy Hart retired from the pro wrestling circuit has a sidekick from south of the Mason/Dixon line been such an annoying loud mouth.
While Stafford has remained humble and quiet while seeking to avoid any potential controversy, his significant other has spent the last six-plus years alienating and aggravating the team’s depressed fanbase with her social media antics.
I don’t have the time or the inclination to list all of her asinine comments, but suffice to say she has no concept of what Lions fans have been going through over the last six decades.
And her “We Haven’t Been Here All of That Time So Don’t Blame Us” defense falls on deaf ears as well since she should have some intimate knowledge of your surroundings by now.
Her act would be similar to some new immigrant wandering the streets of Germany in the late 1950’s wondering why it was so difficult to find either a good bowl of matzoh ball soup or a Kosher butcher.
Her worst transgression ever was the her quote after a 23-20 loss at the hands of the New York Giants in 2013 that eliminated her then-boyfriend’s team from playoff contention …
“You wouldn’t even know we were playing at home the way these fans are booing our home team. #Unbelievable.”
At that point the team hadn’t won a championship in 56 years and this bimbo was confused as to why the team’s fans might have been a little perturbed.
She has also stuck her foot in her mouth many other times, whether by bombing lifelong fans of this moribund franchise, bragging that she paid for her boob job with her own money or whining about coaches, referees or who the hell knows what else.
But Mrs. Stafford’s tone-deafness might have set a new bar earlier today in an imbecilic post on Instagram. (She deleted her Twitter account years ago which I am guessing was at the request of #9 himself.)
Yep, the wife of a man who has earned over $120 million since entering the NFL was advertising the fact that she had some extra tickets for sale on StubHub for Monday night’s Lions vs. Saints game in New Orleans.
Now, let’s be clear about the offense here. If Stafford wanted to unload these ducats on the ticket exchange app, NOBODY would have taken issue with it because NOBODY would have known. StubHub is an anonymous platform and the wife of the filthy-rich QB could have tried to recoup her investment.
But to go on Instagram and try to hock these extras was absolutely astonishing. She was using her stature as a player’s wife to sell the tickets to a bunch of people who are only following her on that website because she is the QB’s WIFE!!!!
It’s gross and it shows a total lack of self-awareness. Stafford later posted that she was just trying to sell them because her grandfather was ill and her plans for MNF had changed.
At that point she had two options:
- Try to sell them on StubHub without broadcasting it publicly, or ….
- Donate them to a charity.
But to go on a social media site and advertise the sale of the tickets was insanely STUPID and the immediate firestorm that occurred was EXTREMELY predictable to anyone except this woman, whose bra size obviously outpaces her IQ.
The DSR tried to rectify the situation in the spirit of the holiday season. I attempted to purchase two of the tickets she was offering for 700 bucks with the plan to give them to charity. I had made a commitment to the New Orleans Children’s Hospital to give the tickets to a child who needed some cheering up.
But, by the time I did, it would appear that Stafford had come to her senses and pulled them off the site in order to mitigate the PR disaster. This was the message I received when trying to make the purchase …
I tried about 25 times to complete the transaction to no avail.
But this story has a happy ending. While I could not purchase the Kelly Stafford tickets, I did successfully acquire four seats to the Saints sold-out matchup with the Lions and have donated them to the children’s hospital.
While they might not be as good as the premium “Bunker Club” seats, I doubt the kids will complain much. Plus, because of the more economical price, we were able to buy four seats rather than just two.
Kelly Stafford’s foolish Instagram post also led the DSR’s managing editor, Justin Spiro, to donate two tickets for the Cotton Bowl between Michigan State and Alabama to a pair of wounded warriors through Operation Homefront.
With six days left before Christmas, this atheist Jew asks you to donate tickets to an organization like @OP_homefront or @CHNola as well so someone who normally wouldn’t be able to attend a sporting event can have the opportunity.
And finally …..
GO SAINTS!!!