By Jeff Moss
December 21, 2011
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
On Monday, I got into a spirited Twitter debate with 97.1 radio host Mike Valenti regarding where the pecking order of NFL quarterbacks does Matthew Stafford rank.
It started when Valenti stated on his afternoon radio show that there were about 10 or 11 quarterbacks in the league that he would prefer to have over the Lions signal caller.
There was nothing that Valenti said on the air that REALLY set me off, but there just seems to be an overall under appreciation of what #9 has done this season in leading the Lions to the cusp of the playoffs and it has been bugging me for weeks.
It goes back to some Lions fans complaints about Stafford a few Sundays ago when he was OBVIOUSLY dealing with an injury to his throwing hand that interfered with the kid’s ability to throw the football accurately.
Some of these ingrate fans were suggesting that Stafford should be benched for perennial All-Pro QB Shaun Hill. Others even suggested that the Lions should sit Stafford and replace him with Drew Stanton because the former MSU star could provide the team with a Tim Tebow-like running threat.
(I guess I deserve that sort of torment for listening to sports talk radio callers.)
You would think this retarded fanbase grew up watching the likes of Joe Montana, John Elway and Johnny Unitas tossing around the pigskin wearing Honolulu Blue and Silver as opposed to Bob Gagliano, Mike McMahon and Eric Hipple the way they so cavalierly dismiss what this 23-year old has accomplished this season.
With two games left in the regular season, Stafford became the second youngest QB to throw for 4,000 yards and 30 TDs in the same season. The only guy younger? Well, I will give you a hint.
Detroit selected a FUCKING FULLBACK (James Jones) in the first round that year (1983) when passing on the future Hall of Famer and Isotoner glove pitchman.
Not only is Stafford having one of the best seasons for a QB at his tender young age, HE IS HAVING THE BEST SEASON BY ANY LIONS QUARTERBACK DURING MY LIFETIME!!!!
Dude is on pace for 4,700 yards, 38 TDs and 16 INTs. The only Lions QB who has even come remotely close to those type of numbers is Scott Mitchell and the last time I checked, Stafford doesn’t have the benefit of the greatest running back in NFL history standing behind him and defenses putting eight men in the box™ (India Summer) to stop him.
No. What Stafford is working with is an old, undersized offensive line that can’t run block to save their lives. And after losing two first round running back picks to injury (Jahvid Best & Mikel Leshoure), the team is now on their fourth running back.
A guy (Kevin Smith) who was sitting on his couch a few weeks ago and who is currently suffering through a high ankle sprain.
So not only is Stafford putting up incredible numbers, he is doing so without the benefit of a running attack or a credible play-action option.
While that gumpy coward Mitchell only had to play pitch-and-catch with Herman Moore and Brett Perriman en route to 4,000 plus throwing yards, Stafford has had to deal with defenses concentrating on one thing.
Stopping HIM.
Which is why I was probably a little oversensitive to any perceived criticism of Stafford by fans or media members when I went on my Twitter crusade.
I mean, we have been waiting for a franchise quarterback around these parts for five decades or so and when he finally arrives some people want to say, “Well, he is only good because of Calvin Johnson.”
Are you fucking kidding me? That would be like a guy getting out of prison after ten years, going to the Penthouse and getting a hummer only to whine that the chick didn’t swallow.
And where is the national recognition for what Stafford has accomplished in his first full year as a starter? All we hear about every week is “Tebow Time.” You might vaguely be familiar with the ad nauseum discussion on ESPN regarding Tebow and his awful play for 58 minutes before “miraculously” leading the Broncos to a victory.
In most of these “Tebow Time” games, Denver is either tied or trailing by one score when Jesus Christ incarnate orchestrates a wobbly thrown comeback.
Meanwhile, Stafford has led the Lions back from deficits of TWENTY points TWICE, a 17-point comeback once and Sunday’s crucial victory in which the team was trailing by 13 points with less than seven minutes to play.
A comeback that culminated with a 98-yard drive with ZERO timeouts and under two and half minutes to play in a game the team had to have to maintain their precarious playoff position.
Hell, if Stafford wore his religion on his sleeve and gave praise to Jesus Christ at the beginning of every interview session, he’d probably have his own show on Pat Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting Network and Rick Perry might be suggesting that Stafford could be his Secretary of Defense based on how much better at actually PLAYING Stafford is in comparison to The Virgin Timmy.
Which is ANOTHER reason to be thankful for Stafford. He doesn’t wear a cross on his hat or place biblical passages under his eyes. He doesn’t film anti-abortion ads with a hate monger like James Dobson and he doesn’t associate himself with bigoted homophobes who want to prevent gays from happiness.
Nor did he buy a bigger house in the Detroit area so he could have Bible Study group on Mondays. The only thing we know about Stafford’s personal life is that he likes pussy which is exactly how I want my franchise quarterback to behave.
I am thankful that #9 isn’t another bust like Chuck Long or Andre Ware.
I am glad that he doesn’t know how to play the piano.
I am appreciative that after suffering two serious injuries early in his career that he worked through them instead of trying to drink his problems away and he hasn’t fallen asleep in his car during the middle of the afternoon in Novi.
Seriously, do you realize how lucky we are? Not only do we FINALLY have a franchise QB, he doesn’t electrocute dogs, he doesn’t shame third world woman into having unwanted births, he isn’t a motorcycle driving rapist and he has never stuck Mr. Winky in Jessica Simpson.
And unlike his more infamous teammate, he isn’t obsessed with his social media standing. He isn’t trying to sell us five dollar footlongs or Omaha Steaks and he doesn’t participate in road rallies in the streets of Germany or Portland, Oregon for that matter either.
And look at the chicks in these pictures. They are just normal every day girls who just want to live the dream of sleeping with an NFL QB.
They aren’t Super Models like Gisele or random actresses or Reality TV stars like Kristin Cavallari. Just everyday, American grown vag.
Other than Aaron Rodgers, name another QB in the NFL who you’d rather have to start a franchise TODAY?
Drew Brees? He is ten years older.
Tom Brady? He is 34.
Peyton Manning? With those bolts in his neck™ (Michael Bochenek) the guy is currently performing in off-Broadway performances of “Young Frankenstein.”
And his brother Eli has won a Super Bowl, but would you trade seven years of Stafford for that erratic goof?
Nope, the only argument over the second pick would be Cam Newton or Matt Ryan and I’d take Stafford over both of them.
The only thing we have waited for longer in this city than an NFL playoff win is a bonafide starting quarterback and I am sorry if I am not going to wait until he wins an MVP trophy or a Super Bowl to throw the parade.
You remember the unbelievable catch that Calvin made on the sideline during the winning drive on Sunday? The one where he somehow got both feet down before crashing out of bounds?
Lost in the spectacular nature of that grab was the Lions haven’t had a QB who could even MAKE THAT BULLET THROW in the 35 years that I’ve been watching them play.
And even though he obviously isn’t the only reason this team is one victory away from the postseason for the first time in 12 years, he is sure as shit a major one.
On the 11-year anniversary of the last time the Lions had a chance to make the playoffs they will take the field at home game against the San Diego Chargers.
And if you are going to the game this Christmas Eve please do me a favor.
If you see Frankfort, Michigan native Paul Edinger walking into Ford Field? Please corkscrew him into the pavement.
And give a big hand to the best quarterback to play for this team since the last Highland Park High School graduate was at the helm.
(Who by the way, liked partying more than Christ as well.)