By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
March 19, 2016
Late yesterday the DSR learned of a major upheaval at failing Detroit sports radio station WMGC (105.1-FM). It turned out the Friday Afternoon News Dump was Greater Media cancelling its afternoon drive show by canning both Matt Dery and Drew Sharp.
While it isn’t surprising that Ratt Dreary and the Unrepentant Plagiarist were fired — their ratings have been atrocious since replacing Drew Lane five months ago — the news of who will replace them is jaw-dropping.
The show that will now go head-to-head with 97.1’s Mike Valenti is going to be hosted by 105.1’s clueless wonder program director Dave Shore and former Pistons guard Lindsey Hunter. The DSR is still awaiting word if middays will be manned by Eric Chase and Allan Houston.
When I broke the news of this via phone to a couple members of the media last night, I was met with seconds of silence. I actually thought I lost the connection with one of the folks I was chatting with. That’s how astonishing this news was to the local broadcasting community.
The level of incompetence that continues under the watch of Shore is unreal. And if you haven’t heard the Los Angeles Name-Dropper on the radio yet, tune in Monday. Believe it or not, he is so bad ON THE AIR that his programming “talents” look like those of Les Moonves by comparison.
And Lindsey Hunter?!??!?!?!?! I am not even going to waste 30 seconds explaining to you people why these moves are so utterly ridiculous. I almost think the Onion has bought Talker’s Magazine and they’re the ones disseminating this mind-boggling news.
Dave Shore and Lindsey Hunter. That’s a “Jeopardy!” answer whose question is “What show on local Detroit sports radio is capable of making Matt Dery and Drew Sharp look like an American Idol ratings juggernaut, circa 2001?”
I have joked for 30-plus months now that the Greater Media experiment of Detroit Sports 105.1 is some sort of “Brewster’s Millions” wager and the execs at GM won’t cash in on a large inheritance until NOBODY is left listening to WMGC.
After the news of Shore and Hunter in PM Drive, I am no longer ruling this out. The only other plausible explanation is Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom are behind this and we are just days away from hearing Ryan Ermanni belt out “Springtime for Shore in Ferndale” on the 105.1 airwaves.
Luckily for the higher-ups at the Greater Media compound, I am here to save them. The same person who attended the press conference announcing the switch from Adult Contemporary to sports back in August of 2o13 and WARNED them that they were making a colossal mistake in both their programming and hiring decisions.
And I was right about EVERYTHING I predicted (which we will get into shortly). You want to take this loser of a station and make it extremely profitable AND a legitimate challenger to the awful product down the dial? Take some notes and give me a call Monday morning.
Because this is EXACTLY what you need to do:
1) Abandon the name “Detroit Sports 105.1.” It has been branded as an absolute loser and a laughingstock thanks to former PD Jason Dixon and current buffoon Shore. HIV and Ebola have better reputations at this point.
I don’t care what you change the name to ….. JUST CHANGE IT (along with the logo and everything else associated with 2.5 years of abject failure). Hell, call iHeartRadio and ask them if they’d sell you the WDFN call letters. Just pick anything but a reminder of the garbage product you have been selling since 2013.
2) Fire every single on-air “talent” you have. They have the stench of POINT NINE on their person. There is a reason why Ermanni, Rico Beard, Marc Fellhauer and Tom Mazawey have failed miserably at getting MEN to tune into your channel. They are TERRIBLE!!!! They aren’t likable, they know next-to-nothing about sports and they aren’t compelling AT ALL.
The only person whom I would even consider retaining is Sean Baligian — who has only been on the air there for the last few months — and I would only allow HIM to be on the air at night and on weekends.
3) Immediately fire Shore (do I even need to write that???) and go to Pittsburgh and bring former WDFN and WXYT program director Gregg Henson home.
Look, it’s well known that Henson and I haven’t always seen eye-to-eye. If you need any evidence of that, go here, here and here.
But this isn’t about making friends or having dinner conversations regarding progressive political ideas. It’s about salvaging your abortion of a radio station and Henson is the only person who can resurrect this mess.
You’ve tried Mr. Magoo out-of-towners and have been rewarded with a 2.2 rating among MEN. You need a dude who knows this market like the back of his hand. Someone absolutely desperate to get back into the market. Someone who will refuse vacations and spend 16 hours a day in that compound figuring out how to eat away at 97.1’s audience.
There is nobody hungrier or more motivated to come back and destroy 97.1. Hiring Henson would be the equivalent of procuring the services of the Count of Monte Cristo or that hot blonde chick on “Revenge.”
There is only one other person that is more motivated to take 97.1 out at the knees — ME.
Of course, I would be Henson’s unofficial assistant PD.
4) Right out of the gate, Greater Media made a fatal error by building the station around Lane and putting him in PM Drive. The people clamoring for an alternative to 97.1 desired a format that didn’t include horrific “guy talk” topics and imbecilic caller-driven radio.
If Lane was going to host a show in the afternoon he needed a diehard, nuts-and-bolts sports partner to help him wade through those dangerous waters because his sports knowledge was embarrassingly deficient. Instead, they paired him with a Drew Lane fanboy lackey in Fellhauer and placed that coupling against the ONE show on 97.1 that actually does focus the majority of its time on sports.
The Space Shuttle Challenger O-rings laughed at this inherent flaw.
Not only that, Lane made his bones in MORNING RADIO and that is where he always needed to be placed. There is very little expectation for the AM Drive show to rely heavily on intense sports talk. Don’t believe me?
Does the combination of Bill McAllister, Michael Stone and Sara Fouracre ring a freaking bell, people????!??? That’s a real think tank of analytical sports talk.
Look, I am not a Lane fan. I think his show on 105.1 was homophobic and borderline racist. But once again, I am programming a radio station for success, not trying to suggest a Nobel Peace Prize winner.
As an employee of Greater Media, I would have the audience (stay tuned) to call Lane out on his bullshit ON THE SAME AIRWAVES.
So I would rehire Lane and place him in AM Drive where he dominated the ratings in this town for decades. But I wouldn’t make the same mistake of partnering Lane with a know-nothing dude who basically acted like he won a listener contest to be Lane’s co-host.
5) No, I would pair Lane with a person who has an encyclopedic knowledge of sports and combines that with an impressive comprehension of pop culture. Luckily for me, that person is currently unemployed in Canada.
Yep, Greg Brady would make his triumphant return. The former WDFN morning man was let go from FAN590 in Toronto last month and is currently looking for his next gig. I always believed Brady had the capacity to be one of the best sports talkers in this town.
Throw him in a room with Lane and demand that Brady not take a backseat to Drew. Instruct the pair that this is a show of equals and that Brady is to call Lane out on his bullshit when he sees fit. No deference whatsoever.
Also, the Canadian would be directed to be “the Greg Brady on Twitter” when it comes to Detroit sports and not “the Greg Brady who didn’t always go full throttle against the powers that be in Detroit” when he was on 1130.
Call me bi-polar, but I think the combo of Brady and Lane could give the stale duo of the Jay Towers wannabe and Stoney a run for their money.
6) I believe the producer of the morning show would be extremely important. I would want that person to also to be the regular update voice. Enter current WWJ newsman Russ McNamara, who would be absolutely perfect for this role.
7) A revolving door of retreads is the last thing the station needs which is why the new midday program would feature Detroit radio outsiders who are in-tune with Detroit sports.
My duo to take on the Virginal Manatee and Benedict Karsch? Current Lansing radio host Ryan Schuiling and Toledo sports TV personality Jordan Strack.
Both have exactly what is desperately needed in this market:
A) Freshness
B) An edge
C) A breadth of sports knowledge
D) A sense of humor
I’d also listen to every single Specs Howard graduate’s audition and try to find a witty and knowledgable up-and-comer to produce this show and double as an update anchor.
8) There is one show that the people at 97.1 DO NOT WANT on the air at 105.1 and, trust me, it’s not the pairing of a failed program director with no knowledge of the market and a retired Pistons point guard.
No, it’s the Bald vs. Evil pairing. Joff Mess and Henson. If you want to move the needle then you need to do so with the most outrageous take-no-prisoners show imaginable.
And it’s not like we are starting from scratch with this program. I ALREADY BRING MY OWN AUDIENCE to this dance and Henson is a known commodity in Detroit.
Now, if I weren’t there to keep Henson in check I would be worried about his on-air presence. But I would be right next to him until one of us killed the other.
Which could occur before one ratings book was released.
Unfortunately, both this show’s producer/third voice Justin Spiro and I would have to get our regular day-job duties completed before heading to the studio because 105.1 can’t afford us.
Now, why would 97.1 be terrified of Moss and Henson? Because we’d make Donald Trump look like a calm, muted voice when we attacked WXYT-FM and their personalities. Hell, I’d probably hire Roger Stone to be our consultant.
It would be so ugly that Henson would be the one holding ME back.
Like I have said many times before, I graduated from the Howard Stern School of Broadcast Radio. “Scorched-earth” wouldn’t even begin to describe how I’d go after McAllister, Scott Anderson, Doug Karsch, Valenti and Terry Foster.
(And not 2016 Howard Stern playing nice with Ellen Degeneres and Lena Dunham. No, I am talking about 1982 Howard Stern calling airlines asking for the rate to fly from National Airport to the 14th Street Bridge.)
Nothing would be off the table — from Anderson’s sexual failures to the insensitive way Valenti once broke up with his longtime girlfriend. I’d be vicious. I’d do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, to win.
Even if we didn’t defeat 97.1 we would sure wound them and it would be quite unpleasant for the current CBS property.
And when I wasn’t inflicting mental damage on 97.1, we would have the best sports talk around with regular guests like Tony Paul, who would be a major part of the station moving forward.
Just think of the shit we’ve been able to pull off on the DSR Podcast with no budget other than our own pocketbooks. Picture the shenanigans we’d deploy with an expense account.
God damn, it would be ugly.
You want to win, Greater Media?
Time to get in the gutter with me.
9) The station needs to be branded as local in the same fashion 97.1 does by airing Detroit-centric shows at night and on the weekend. And it’s not like the bar is high over at 97.1 with Not-Ready-for-Primetime programming hosted by Dennis Fithian, Pat Caputo, Jeff Riger and that psychopath Dan Leach.
This is where I would gently back off my “No Retreads” edict and allow for some nostalgia programming mixing Baligian, Art Regner and other pros with upstart Specs Howard grads looking to break into the market.
I think it would be crucial to have local shows on until midnight on weekdays and at the very least between 10am and 6pm on weekends. I don’t care if you’d have to pay people by the hour to fill the shifts, even during these hours I wouldn’t want to give an inch to 97.1.
This would include a weekly Lions roundtable hosted by Kyle Meinke, Josh Katzenstein and Michael Rothstein; a regular Tigers program with Paul and ESPN’s Katie Strang, who also would be a key component of this endeavor.
You are already an ESPN station and you aren’t using Strang’s HOCKEY and BASEBALL knowledge to your advantage? Get the fuck out of here.
I would look for other quality female voices in addition to Strang in order to eliminate the stench of frat boy radio on 105.1. In the past, that has included calling an alleged rape victim a “slut” and another sexual assault victim “loose.”
Also, Lane would be advised that this lowest-common-denominator garbage was no longer tolerated.
Hell, I am 2,200 words into this plan and I’ve barely scratched the surface of potential programming. Suffice it to say that 97.1’s lazy paint-by-numbers approach has created a void that we would easily be able to exploit.
10) While this may be my final point, it clearly is not the least important. In fact, it’s crucial.
The station needs to be raw, brutally honest and transparent, something it has not been since its inception. Because of the original on-air personalities there has been an air of phoniness and duplicity.
There is nothing wrong with admitting you don’t know the answer to a question instead of trying to lie and bullshit your way through via a faux expertise.
If someone calls your show and doesn’t like you, don’t hang up on them. Engage and embrace the confrontation because it actually makes for GOOD RADIO!!!!
If the ratings are in the tank, discuss it on air and be upfront about the situation. People aren’t stupid and they don’t want to be treated like children.
A Moss/Henson regime at 105.1 would be the polar opposite of everything that Greater Media has attempted over the last 31 months. At this point, what the hell do you have to lose?!!?!?!?!?
Your dignity? Well, maybe.
But if my way doesn’t work — the same plan I laid out in August of 2013 — you can always go back to Billy Joel and Celine Dion.
At least you will have done so knowing you tried everything before throwing in the towel.