Brad Ausmus Has To Go

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By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
September 7, 2014

If there was ever a question in the minds of Tiger fans as to whether or not surfing pretty boy mimbo Brad Ausmus has to go after one season as the manager of the Detroit Tigers, the indecision should evaporate after this weekend.

Between his horrid ninth inning decisions in Saturday afternoon’s 5-4 loss versus the Giants and his ATROCIOUS lineup this evening, the man has to FUCKING GO. If Dave Dombrowksi had a [Trout] damn brain in his head he would fire the Ivy League Imbecile now and ride Matt Martin for the remainder of the season. I mean, could Martin be ANY WORSE than the current moron in charge?

First, you had the debacle yesterday afternoon where Ausmus completely botched the pinch-hitting assignments while trailing by a run in a HUGE game. Instead of utilizing power-hitting September call-up Steven Moya or Tyler Collins (who hit a bomb earlier this week in Cleveland), Dartmouth DUMMY inserted Punch-and-Judy hitter Ezequiel Carrera for Eugenio Suarez and let Rajai Davis and his .340 slugging percentage against righties face closer Santiago Casilla.

If that wasn’t bad enough, B[r]ad Ausmus threw Alex Avila into the fire by pinch-hitting him against a lights-out closer mere days after the backstop suffered ANOTHER potential concussion.

Predictably, the Tigers went down 1-2-3 in the ninth and missed a huge opportunity to make up a game in the AL Central race.

Well, the Tigers won’t have that chance tonight on ESPN’s National Game of the Week as the Royals shutout the Yankees earlier today by a score of 2-0. Yep, for the SECOND time this weekend, KC defeated NYY without the benefit of scoring an EARNED RUN!!!!!

Let’s put it this way, the Royals most likely lost one of their better starting pitchers (Danny Duffy) for the remainder of the season due to a shoulder injury on Saturday and only scored TWO EARNED RUNS during their three-game set. They had a GREAT weekend compared to the Tigers!!!!!!

This evening, the Tigers are sending Quad-A starter (and that might be a compliment) Kyle Lobstein to the mound against a team that should wear a picture of Freddy Krueger on their caps when they face Detroit.

Did I mention that tonight’s impending loss (another San Fran sweep) would put the team three games back with 19 games to go???

And what lineup is Ausmus sending out against Tim Hudson with the season on the precipice of disaster and the Royals coming to town tomorrow? One that includes both DON KELLY and ANDREW ROMINE even though, with the expanded roster, you couldn’t accidentally construct a more anemic batting order than tonight’s!!!!

I mean, it is September 7th and there are only THREE weeks left in the season. Don Kelly and his five extra-base hits, ZERO homers and SIX RBI is playing centerfield and BATTING SIXTH!!!!!! Batting sixth. The loser has a motherfucking slugging percentage of .299 and a WAR of -.3!!!!!

But Romine makes Kelly look like fucking Willie Stargell with his .267 slugging percentage and .531 OPS.

Believe it or not, 44% of the Tigers’ lineup tonight has a NEGATIVE WAR. I guess $170 million in payroll doesn’t go as far as it used to.

And you wonder how a club with a TEAM OPS of .687 and an $80 million payroll disadvantage is on the verge of burying the Tigers in the AL Central? While the Royals have one of the worst managers in the history of baseball in Ned Yost, it would appear the Tigers and Dombrowski trumped even THAT idiot when they hired Ausmus.

It’s like only having to beat a three in the card game WAR and throwing out a deuce.

Fuck it all. Please lose tonight. Please get swept by the Royals. Please don’t even earn the second Wild-Card berth. End our misery as soon as possible because this is NOT FUN AT ALL and this ulcer in my stomach isn’t getting any smaller.

I thought the Tigers could NEVER hire a manager who has less of a sense of urgency than Jim Leyland did. Instead, they brought in a dude who makes Leyland look like a member of the New York Fire Department.

This abortion of a season can’t end soon enough and, when it does, I hope Ausmus goes with it.

And hire Manny Acta — like I suggested TWO YEARS AGO — because this shit would never occur under a manager who understands basic mathematical concepts.

Of course, the fucksticks who cover the Tigers for a living were all over this genocidal batting order:

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