By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
August 3, 2016

Man. I really thought that my article last night regarding the dramatic ratings improvement of WMGC since they flipped from an all-sports talk format to classic hip-hop would be the last post I ever had to write about that third-trimester abortion of a radio station.

But every time I think I am out, some dingleberry drags me back in. This time the human excrement in question is our old pal Ryan Ermanni. 

After I posted the article last night referencing 105.1’s ratings increase from a .7 when it was a sports talker to a 3.1 under the new “Bounce” format, the disgraced former host at Detroit Sports 105.1 went to Facebook in an attempt to spin the numbers in response.

Ermanni should have known better. You can’t defend the indefensible. Just ask Corey Lewandowski, Jeffrey Lord and Kayleigh McEnany.

Anyway, here are the dope’s posts in which he tries to explain away the overnight success of Bounce 105.1 after he was part of the failure at the station for over 2 1/2 years  …..

These posts are so great that I have to go Old School DSR and break them down sentence by sentence. Ermanni’s comments will be in bold and my “No Vaseline” responses will follow.

“Just saw post-sports format ratings for 105.1.”

Translation: I read the DetroitSportsRag.com every morning.

“Pretty incredible what you can do with a successful launch.”

A successful launch? Is this imbecile serious? What did Greater Media do to launch the new format? They posted it on social media and sent out some press releases while figuring out how the sale of GM to the Beasley Media Group was going to impact their lives. That’s it.

Meanwhile, when the station went all sports back in 2013, GM took out billboards, had a huge presser announcing Drew Lane’s return to the market and hired “Knockout Girls” in an  attempt to lure the male audience.

This “launch” was as barebones as it gets and they still quintupled the ratings!!!!!

“… imagine if they only played throwbacks from 12p-6p Monday-Friday, then didn’t play any throwbacks at night or on weekends for a year. And then for almost 2 years after that never played throwback music at night or on weekends. Or not play any throwbacks in the morning for 30 or 34 months on the air ….. You just can’t have an incredibly poor plan when you and then continue to not learn from those mistakes.”

Is this fucking douche bag serious? Do you know which part of the plan was really stupid from the beginning that he failed to mention?

HIRING RYAN ERMANNI!!!!!!

A guy who NEVER moved the needle ratings-wise at WDFN, Ermanni was already a huge flop in this market BEFORE he ever went to 105.1 and that was one of the huge flaws in the original plan of PD Jason Dixon.

Ermanni is a pathological liar who stated that he didn’t get fired at 1130, he quit because he needed his life back and working at Fox-2 while doing morning radio was just too much. Except, the minute the moronic management came calling at GM a few years later, Ermanni jumped right back into that “torturous” schedule.

That this career failure completely absolves himself of any blame is absolutely hilarious.
That’s my two cents.

“The .9 was the station rating in 6+, we only cared about our main demo M25-54, which Rico and i were in the top 10 for the last 4-5 months were on the air and lived around 3.8-4.1 …”

The only thing we cared about was males 25 to 54. This is absolutely hilarious. You were on a fucking FM signal. Maybe you should have cared more about other demographics.

And I have written this NUMEROUS times over the last couple of years while this station plummeted into oblivion, but bragging about being in the top ten in that TARGET demo is hysterical. You were on a program that discussed sports and MEN’s topics. The bare minimum for that type of format should be top three or four in that demo. THE BARE MINIMUM.

And I will give you an analogy of why that is the case. Imagine you owned a Dairy Queen that was adjacent to a KinderCare Learning Center. And then bragging that you were attracting a decent proportion of the fat kids who attended the daycare facility, but NOBODY else.

That’s what Ermanni is puffing his chest out about. Selling Blizzards to the chubby students, but not to their parents, the svelte children or anybody else in the god damn world!!!!

This man is too dumb to breathe.

The launch was a disaster? YOU WERE A DISASTER. If anyone in the world needed the Blake speech from “Glengarry Glen Ross” it’s Ryan Ermanni. So with all apologies to David Mamet, here ya go ….

Blake: Let me have your attention for a moment! So you’re talking about what? You’re talking about… bitching about the latest awful Arbitron numbers, some son of a bitch on Twitter who says you know nothing about sports, some guy that thinks that virginal whale at 97.1 is a better broadcaster than you, some broad you’re trying to screw and so forth. Let’s talk about something important. Are they all here?

Williamson: All but one.

Blake: Well, I’m going anyway. Let’s talk about something important! (to Mazawey) Put that coffee down!! Coffee’s for broadcasters with an audience only. (Mazawey scoffs) Do you think I’m fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I’m here from Ferndale. I’m here from Buzz Knight and Steve Chessare. (Chuh-sar) And I’m here on a mission of mercy. Your name’s Mazawey?

Mazawey: Yeah.

Blake: You call yourself an on-air talent, you son of a bitch?

Mazawey: I don’t have to listen to this shit. I have old episodes of Seinfeld to watch and an elderly lady in Harper Woods wants me to pick up her Depends at Walgreens.

Blake: You certainly don’t pal. ‘Cause the good news is — you’re fired. The bad news is you’ve got, all you got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting today. Starting with today’s shows. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. ‘Cause we’re adding a little something to this month’s PPM contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac CTS. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize’s a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired. You get the picture? You’re laughing now? You got nice broadcasting equipment. Buzz and Steve paid good money for those cans.

GET PEOPLE TO LISTEN! YOU CAN’T GET PEOPLE TO LISTEN, YOU CAN’T GET PEOPLE TO TUNE IN … YOU ARE SHIT, hit the bricks pal and beat it ’cause you are going out!!!

Ermanni: Our last program director was a weak, name-dropping clown from Los Angeles and we don’t have the Tigers broadcast rights like they do down the dial.

Blake: ‘The last PD was weak.’ The fucking PD was weak? You’re weak!! I’ve been in this business fifteen years.

Rob Pascoe: What’s your name?

Blake: FUCK YOU, that’s my name!! You know why, Mister? ‘Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar BMW. That’s my name!! (to Ermanni) And your name is “you’re wanting.” And you can’t play in a man’s game.

You can’t get people to listen to 105.1 on their  car radio. (at a near whisper) And you go home and tell your wife your troubles.(to everyone again) Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me, you fucking faggots?

(Blake flips over a blackboard which has two sets of letters on it: ABC, and AIDA.)

Blake: A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-charismatic . Always be charismatic ! Always be charismatics!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention — do I have your attention? Interest — are you interested? I know you are because it’s fuck or walk. You get people to listen or you hit the bricks! Decision — have you made your decision, for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!!

You got the radios in the cars; you think they put those radios in cars so people can listen to Celine Dion or Shania Twain? Guy doesn’t walk on the lot and buy a car with an FM radio unless he wants to listen to sports talk radio. Sitting out there waiting to give you good numbers in the 25 to 54 demo! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? (to Ermanni) What’s the problem, pal? You. Ermanni.

Ermanni: You’re such a hero, you’re so rich. Why you coming down here and wasting your time on a bunch of bums who can’t win a bet with a bookie or who believe they can hit .200 in the minor leagues?

(Blake sits and takes off his gold watch)

Blake: You see this watch? You see this watch?
Ermanni: Yeah.

Blake: That watch cost more than all of the wagers you lost in the 2009 NFL regular season. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see, pal, that’s who I am. And you’re nothing. Nice guy? I don’t give a shit. Good father unlike your brother? Fuck you — go home and play with your kids!! (to everyone) You wanna work here? Close!! (to Lindsey Hunter) You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can’t take this — how can you take the abuse you get from a caller or the DSR?! You don’t like it — leave. I can go out there on PM Drive with the Tigers and Lions talk you got, make myself fifteen thousand dollars! Tonight! In a three-hour shift! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to beat 97.1?

(He pulls something out of his briefcase)

Blake: It takes brass balls to beat 97.1.

(He’s holding two brass balls on string, over the appropriate “area”–he puts them away after a pause)

Blake: Go and do likewise, gents. The ratings are out there, you pick it up, it’s yours. You don’t–I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those air shifts today and grab an audience, it’s yours. If not, you’re going to be shining my shoes. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar. (in a mocking weak voice) “Oh yeah, I used to be a sports talk radio host, it’s a tough racket.”

These are the new topics. These are the DetroitSportsRag topics. And to you, they’re gold. And you don’t get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. (he hands the stack to Buzz Knight) They’re for people who are number one in the target demo.

I’d wish you good luck but you wouldn’t know what to do with it if you got it. (to Ermanni as he puts on his watch again) And to answer your question, pal: why am I here? I came here because Buzz and Chessare asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fucking ass because a loser is a loser.

I mean, this buffoon claimed that NO ONE could find the station. Like, nobody knew 97.1 had a competitor? Even though the station at one point employed one of the most popular Detroit radio hosts to EVER live and carried the Pistons games?

Meanwhile, “Bounce” has none of those inherent draws and the station is actually pretty horrible. It’s a pissed-on version of SiriusXM’s “Backspin” that plays the same music over and over and over again.

Just read this “Bounce” review from DSR reader Andrew Skomski:

Basically, an iPod mini on shuffle has more appeal than the staff Jason Dixon and Dave Shore trotted out for 34 months. And when I say iPod mini, I mean, the new station literally has like 70 songs on its playlist, which I believe is the capacity of an iPod mini. I listened extensively for the first week since I had the week off and was working on the house I just bought. They played a ridiculous amount of repeats and only the most top-40-esque “hip-hop and r&b” are played by that station.

Really, they have extremely limited the listenability of that station because of how limited the scope of their songs are. I mean, 90% of their playlist are songs you’d be happy to hear once again and then not again for 10 more years yet they STILL more than quadrupled the ratings they used to get.

And THAT is the station that has quintupled your ratings, MORON.

An. iPod. Shuffle. And a bad one at that.

Truth is, you make your own luck in this world and, if you have talent, people will find you. Ryan Ermanni has none.

Let me just give you an example of this.

Here is a screenshot of a Detroit Sports 105.1 live Periscope broadcast …

41 viewers.

Forty. One.

Now, here is one of mine from a couple of weeks ago …..

1,264 total viewers.

If you are compelling and have talent PEOPLE WILL FIND YOU.

Because what infrastructure do I have? What kind of launch did we have? Where is my budget?

Hell, when we TRIED to take out a billboard, the ad company took our money and then told us they were afraid of getting sued if they put it up and refunded our dough.

Which leads me to my final point. AND PLEASE let this be the end of it. Forever.

The fact that repetitive, watered-down rap music from the 90s INSTANTLY buoyed WMGC’s ratings is just more evidence that Gregg Henson/Jeff Moss 2016 would have been a rousing success.

You can get people to tune in IF you give them any sort of reason whatsoever.

Ryan Ermanni never did. And he never will.

Hopefully, the next media conglomerate that makes their foray into sports talk will have learned that painful lesson.

(You can follow the writer of this piece on Twitter @JeffMossDSR. Also, you can join in on the discussion of this article on Facebook by clicking here.)