By Melrose Jerry Green
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
July 16, 2016
With the recent format change of Detroit Sports 105.1 to throwback hip-hop, we’re down to only one FM “sports talk” radio station in this town.
As a result, this website has made it a priority to scrutinize every minor detail regarding the flagship station (WXYT–FM) of the Tigers and Red Wings.
One of the DSR’s favorite targets, the abortion of a show known as “Karsch & Anderson” caught my attention today at work when I was looking for something to listen to while sifting through hundreds of cells in Microsoft Excel.
In a span of only two hours, “Benedict” Doug Karsch and the Scott “The Virginal Whale” Anderson managed to prove exactly why they are heavy favorites to lock down #1 seeds in next year’s “Worst Detroit Sports Media Personality Tournament” by making some truly asinine statements.
While discussing Aaron Rodgers’ recent claim that former Lion Ndamukong Suh was the toughest defensive player he had faced in his career, the conversation turned to how much the Lions actually miss the presence of the future Hall of Famer.
After reciting some of Suh’s stats, the Manatee came across a Pro Football Focus ranking in which Suh was rated the 26th best player in the NFL based on the site’s 2015 analysis.
Mind you, PFF is so well-respected that even the Lions’ chief propagandist Tim Twentyman cites their work on a weekly basis. After reciting the stat, Anderson followed up with, “Now you have to take PFF’s data with a grain of salt.”
(We’re pretty sure Anderson takes EVERYTHING with a grain of salt when he is shoving food down his gullet.)
In response to his partner’s idiotic comment, Karsch retorted, “sports in a test tube.” Keep bashing advanced metrics, you imbeciles. Right, let’s mock a website that spends countless hours breaking down EVERY SINGLE NFL PLAY IN EVERY GAME.
After disparaging the fine work of Pro Football Focus, Benedict and the Whale turned their attention to road rage. I kid you not. For a good 20-25 minutes, these two dolts discussed a recent study that said that 80% of Americans display signs of road rage. They took calls, read text messages on-air, and talked about the various instances in which they had displayed signs of road rage.
Sports. Talk. Radio.
Following the road rage discussion, the pair finally got around to talking about this city’s baseball team. When a caller inquired about the Tigers trading for a starting pitcher, Sonny Gray of the Oakland Athletics was brought up.
In unison, the clueless traitor and the surely diabetic hippopotamus said, “I think you could move (Stephen) Moya and maybe (Joe) Jimenez for Sonny Gray.”
Look, Drew Pomeranz just got dealt to the Red Sox for a top-20 prospect in Anderson Espinoza. The same Drew Pomeranz who hadn’t lived up to his prospect billing until this year was just dealt for one of the best starting pitching prospects. A kid Baseball America had ranked as the 15th best prospect in the entire sport.
While Sonny Gray is having a down season, he is CLEARLY better than Pomeranz and has a much longer track record. I’m sure you could easily trade two players who aren’t even amongst the top 100 prospects in baseball for a guy who finished THIRD in Cy Young voting last year.
And while Gray was the ace of that A’s staff last year, Pomeranz was pitching out of the bullpen!
The only thing Anderson knows less about than sports is caloric intake.
Finally, these two stains on society discussed the “five-second rule” after golfer Darren Clarke put his chewing gum back in his mouth after it fell onto the green this morning at The Open Championship.
That is not a typo. Of course, the morbidly obese slob known as Scott Anderson stated, “It depends on how bad you want what you drop” when asked by Karsch what his personal rule is.
Translation? An appetizer platter of potato skins, mozzarella sticks and Buffalo wings dropped on the floor at the Southfield location of T.G.I. Friday’s in 1987 is still edible to Anderson.
The coming months will feature a fierce competition between these radio partners to obtain the coveted ML Curly Cup. Will Anderson be able to win his second championship? Can Karsch escape his partner’s IMMENSE shadow? Will the dopey duo split the vote, leading to a victory by Gregg Krupa or Chris McCosky?
With awful sports takes and random topics on their show that absolutely no one with a functioning brain would care about, it will take a valiant effort to overcome this pathetic pair’s stranglehold on the competition.
Friday was just another day in the life of the worst sports talk show in the history of Detroit radio.
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