By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
June 29, 2016

It was a particularly horrid week in Detroit sports media — is there any other kind? — and the DetroitSportsRag was there to chronicle the pathetic week that was.

Gregg Krupa Excretes Another Awful Opinion Piece

We are still over seven months away from the 2017 Worst Detroit Sports Media Personality Tournament but it is becoming clearer by the day that Detroit News fanboy hockey writer Gregg Krupa will be locking up one of the four #1 seeds. Hell, as long as Drew Sharp doesn’t plagiarize a blogger between now and February, this cunt rag Krupa might be the favorite to win the entire bracket.

This pile of human debris followed up on last week’s defense of Pavel Datsyuk’s departure from Detroit while criticizing Sergei Fedorov with TWO articles propping up Chris Osgood’s hopeless Hockey Hall of Fame candidacy.

I could dissect almost every paragraph this imbecile wrote about Osgood being deserving of induction, but I will pick out one in particular to demonstrate what an in-the-bag cheerleader this Santa Claus-looking motherfucker is for the Wings organization ….

Okay, is there ANYONE in the world who would rather have had CHRIS OSGOOD in net rather than Miikka Kiprusoff, Nikolai Khabibulin or Jean-Sebastien Giguere? Just reciting the names of those three goaltenders to Red Wings fans should cause nightmares for weeks. I am shocked the George R.R. Martin lookalike didn’t throw Arturs Irbe in there for good measure.

Look, I am not going into a 2,500 word article about why it is preposterous to argue that Osgood should be in the Hall of Fame. I won’t mention how the Wings won the 1998 Stanley Cup despite Osgood’s propensity to give up soul-crushing goals from beyond the blue line. Or the fact that the “Hall of Famer” was placed on WAIVERS in the prime of his career.

Or how he didn’t come close to induction this year when his competition was as putrid as it will ever be. Nope. I am going to make this extremely simple for you.

Here is something you can’t understand … how I could just kill a man’s [Hall of Fame] eligibility. In about 90 seconds.

Now, every single season, there is a vote to determine the best goalie in the NHL. The trophy they hand out for this honor is called the Vezina named after Georges Vezina, one of the 35 (THIRTY-FIVE!!!!!!) netminders inducted into the HHOF.

(Yes, there are only 35 goalies currently in the Hall after Rogie Vachon was voted in Monday. If you think Chris Osgood is one of the best 36 goaltenders to ever play the game, please immediately check yourself into the nearest psychiatric ward.)

Anyway, Osgood played 18 seasons in the NHL. During that span, he finished second in Vezina voting ONE TIME.

Ozzie finished seventh in the balloting. ONCE.

Osgood finished tenth in Vezina voting. ONE TIME.

And finally, #30 finished eleventh on ONE OCCASION.

So, to summarize this for you, in 14 of the seasons Chris Osgood was in the NHL, he wasn’t considered one of the top eleven goalies in a THIRTY TEAM LEAGUE!!!!

And Osgood’s best finish for the Hart Trophy (league MVP) in any given year? 22nd.

And this is the guy who Krupa is trying to sell as one of the best 36 goaltenders to ever strap up the skates?

Now in comparison, let’s look at Kiprusoff’s Vezina history.

Not only did the Flames backstop WIN the Vezina in 2006, he finished second once, third one time, fifth another and eighth twice. Furthermore, Kiprusoff twice was in the conversation for league MVP.

The only advantage that Osgood has on the goalies Krupa listed is he got to play with about a DOZEN ACTUAL HALL OF FAMERS during his career and, because of that fact, he won the Stanley Cup twice as a starter. When should I expect Krupa’s column demanding Kris Draper and Kirk Maltby’s inductions?

I am not saying that Vezina voting is the end-all, be-all barometer of a goalie’s career but are you telling me during FIFTEEN seasons the voters got it wrong when stating Osgood wasn’t in the Top 10 at his position?

Placing a guy with Osgood’s resume in the Hall of Fame would only accomplish one thing.

Watering down the entire institution in the process.

Benedict Karsch and The Virginal Whale’s Hockey Knowledge

And as horrific as Krupa’s hockey acumen might be — and trust me, it’s a total shit show — the dipshit looks like the love child of Darren Dreger and Elliotte Friedman in comparison to “Benedict” Doug Karsch and Scott “The Virginal Manatee” Anderson’s puck smarts.

These two jackasses actually went on the air last Friday and suggested that the Wings send Dylan Larkin to Montreal for P.K. Subban and stated that Steven Stamkos was past his prime.

At the age of 26. He is over-the-hill.

Now keep in mind, these takes aren’t isolated awful opinions. Aldrich Ames and the Cross-Eyed Hippopotamus have spent the last decade shitting out asinine and uninformed hockey takes.

In April, the pair derogatorily compared Andreas Athanasiou to former Tiger Quad-A pinch runner Quintin Berry. That is going to be the gift that keeps on giving for the next 15 seasons.

Then a few weeks ago, the Cardiac Arrest Kid suggested that Ken Holland call up the Oilers and acquire Connor McDavid because Edmonton would be willing to deal the next Sidney Crosby for a combination of veterans, prospects and money since the Oil are ALWAYS willing to trade their superstars for a cash influx.

He wasn’t joking.

And who can forget the pair CELEBRATING the steal of a deal the Red Wings agreed to when signing Justin Abdelkader to a seven-year, $30 million contract. They loved the money AND term Holland handed Abdelkader because, who doesn’t think “Abs” will age gracefully?

Oh, right. EVERYONE IN THE NHL.

The only subject that Anderson is less qualified to discuss than hockey is the clitoris and I’d rather listen to Karsch pontificate on the need to remain loyal to the university you attend.

Anthony Fenech Still Can’t Write

I have been told by someone in the know that ever since the DSR posted its investigative piece on Freep baseball writer Anthony Fenech detailing his drunk driving accident, the Tiger beat writer has been religiously using Uber whenever he goes out for a night on the town.

All of the folks Downriver can thank this website for that bit of community service. Unfortunately, there is no app to correct horrible writing though. If you’d like proof of that, I give you this lede from Friday night’s Tigers/Indians game story:

This town is such a joke.

More Hockey Knowledge From Vasili Mitrokhin and The Sexless Elephant

I didn’t want to overwhelm you with all of Karsch and Anderson’s horrendous hockey opinions in one section so I gave you a people a break. But here are some more:

Jonathan Ericsson is a valuable defenseman because of his size and grit.

The David Legwand trade was great because Legwand was a real pro and the Swedish kid (Calle Jarnkrok) was going back to Europe anyway.

The team misses Drew Miller.

Detroit is OBVIOUSLY still a free-agent destination because Stephen Weiss and Daniel Alfredsson signed here.

[Trout], I’d love to take a guitar from Anderson’s collection and slam it over his head Honky Tonk Man-style.

Bill Shea’s Source

Last week I reported that a lot of signs were pointing towards Greater Media flipping formats at Detroit Sports 105.1, but that nothing appeared imminent.

This morning, a Crain’s Detroit Business writer Tweeted out the following …

Radio source? Hmmmm.

I spoke to a few people in the “radio source” business who were convinced the tip came from a vindictive and bitter Matt Dery. You might remember Dery as the former 105.1 talk show host who was fired by Greater Media a few months ago.

Anyway, the next Tweet Shea sent out after the one posted above referenced an article he wrote about the new minor league baseball stadium in Utica.

You know, the stadium where Dery is currently employed to judge Hula Hoop contests and to hand out cupcakes to the crowd.

You’d HOPE that Shea would be smart enough not to tip his hand like that, but having dealt with him personally, I can assure you he is not.

And Finally …

Don’t look now, but African-American Ralph Kramden has devised a new get-rich scheme. Yep, 97.1-FM talk show host Terry Foster seems to have discovered a new way to spam his Twitter audience in addition to his Xfinity ads ….

 

In addition to prostituting himself out for Comcast, now Foster is Tweeting out links to a gambling website called betonline.ag.

In the last few months, Foster has Tweeted out these BetOnline links over 40 times and the articles are just a ruse to get people to click on the wagering site.

Does this man have NO shame?

That’s one of those rhetorical questions.

(You can follow the writer of this piece on Twitter @JeffMossDSR. Also, you can join in on the discussion of this article on Facebook by clicking here.)