By Jeff Moss
July 5, 2012
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
I am not going to lie to you people. After last night’s Tigers game I was extremely aggravated with the curse we continue to live under. The managerial stylings of one Jim Leyland.
Yes, I know the Tigers defeated the Minnesota Twins behind a sparkling effort by Justin Verlander. But, considering it was the first time in FIVE games this season the team had beaten the LOWLY Twins at home, I wasn’t that enthused.
Coupled with the fact that the White Sox beat the Rangers AGAIN (this time in extra innings on a single by Kevin Youkilis) and JV won’t be pitching for another ten days AND the team still remains 4.5 games behind the Sox, well, let’s just say I wasn’t running around my house shooting fireworks up my ass.
But the main reason for my consternation was Jim Leyland’s continued insistence on not only playing Ryan Raburn and his under .500 OPS, but his stubborn mule like approach to batting the guy SECOND in the lineup.
Because, what isn’t there to love about placing Raburn and his sub .250 ON-BASE PERCENTAGE in front of Miguel Cabrera who is currently in his Buchanan’s Scotch Beast Mode?
I obviously despised Cancer Stick’s decision to bat Raburn second BEFORE the game started.
THEN Raburn proceeded to bounce into one sure double play that was botched by the Twins shortstop, Jamey Carroll, which resulted in a Fielder’s Choice.
Then he failed to knock Austin Jackson in after the center fielder led off an inning with a triple.
Then he actually bounced into a double play.
He managed another weak out elsewhere during the game on his way to an 0-for-4 performance while being lustily booed by the hometown faithful.
(Even if you think Raburn should have been playing last night against a LHP, what was the excuse for his last two at-bats against a RHP with Quintin Berry sitting on the bench? Also, if he is going to play, WHY THE FUCK IS HE BATTING SECOND?!!?!?!?!)
So, I was obvioulsy extremely frustrated with Leyland’s latest asinine batting order decision and had exhausted all of my frustration on the Detroit Media and the PR Department of the Tigers.
So I started looking for fresh meat and found it in Leyland’s son, Patrick. The catcher in Grand Rapids who was drafted by the Tigers I’m assuming on TALENT alone.
The kid who currently has an OPS of .567 in LOW Single-A.
So, I sent the following Tweet to Patrick just in the hope that at least SOMEONE IN THE FAMILY would know about my total disgust with Leyland’s continued managerial malpractice.
“Hey @pleyland1013, you know your dad is awful and the game passed him by years ago, right? Can you introduce him to FanGraphs, please?”
I really didn’t think Patrick would respond, but I guess you can never put anything past a guy who in his Twitter profile spells organization, “orginization.”
So this is the response I got from Cancer Stick’s professional baseball playing son:
Homeboy? I mean, who the hell calls another man, “homeboy?” It. Is. 2012. Also, I doubt very highly that Patrick grew up on the mean streets of Pittsburgh since the kid was born during Jim’s managerial “glory days” with the Pirates.
I responded to Leyland’s kid by explaining to him that we are both .500 managers in MLB. My resume being 0-0 and his pop’s at 1,627-1,627.
And since Patrick obviously knows how to use a SmartPhone or a computer based on his Twitter response, I asked him to teach the old man how to use a PC.
Anyway, we had a couple of back and forth messages with Patrick asking me to leave him alone, but that he didn’t care if I ripped on Emaciated Grossness as long as I left him out of it.
I agreed to do so, but requested that Patrick ask his dad to subject himself to a ten minute interview with me in which I would spend at least some time discussing our mutual love of thoroughbred horse racing.
(I have tried in vain setting up a Q & A with Leyland through conventional methods so I figured I would give this a shot even though the odds are about a billion to one against.)
Anyway, I thought we had left on fairly civil terms (well, as civil as I can be to someone I consider to be the spawn of the Anti-Christ), but then I got hit with THIS Tweet from Patrick’s sister:
Now, I don’t know how old Kellie Leyland is or why she felt the need to protect her dad and brother, but here we are.
But, for once in my life, I decided to take the high road and refused to respond to Kellie’s Tweet.
Of course, I pretty much agreed with it anyhow. Especially the part about me being a “genius” and how I should have a gig as a manager in MLB.
Anyway, I don’t plan on responding to Kellie Leyland in the near future. Of course, if she catches me on a day where Jhonny Peralta is resting for the second time in three days, Raburn is leading off and her dad decides to bring in a rookie reliever with a 7.35 ERA in Erie to make his debut MLB performance with the bases loaded in a tie game …..
Well, all bets are off.
I will say this about the Leyland children. They must get their grooming etiquette from the mom.