By Jeff Moss
June 7, 2011
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
What do TMZ, Pita Cafe, Uncle Ned, Titus Pullo, the Fox Sports Detroit Girls and the Michigan House of Representatives have in common? They are all involved in a special episode of “The Mossims™.”
Glenn Beck with a Vagina and Tewfiq Gores
In my last article on the one-and-only DSR (by the way, we outlived the “Detroit Sports Report”) I detailed my concerns with new the Pistons owner, Platinum Equity errr, I mean, Tom Gores.
I purposely avoided the two more salacious rumors about Gores because I don’t think either have anything to do with the Pistons future succcess:
1) That Gores had an affair with his sister-in-law. A story that was basically confirmed during famed L.A. private investigator Anthony Pellicano’s illegal wiretap trial in 2008.
2) That Gores and/or his family have some sort of association with the Palestinian terrorist group, Hamas.
I am not Harvey Levin or Mike Walker so I really don’t give a damn who “Fabio” Gores is screwing on the side and I don’t see how it is going to IMPACT the team unless things go south in the flipping companies business and Gores gets embroiled in an ugly McCourt-esque divorce.
The second bit of nastiness revolves around Metro Detroit’s own conservative, slob blogger Debbie Schlussel.
If you aren’t familiar with Schlussel’s work, just imagine if Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin had a lovechild and somehow the offspring came out a Hebrew bowling ball.
Schlussel rails against everything Arab at all times on her blog. I am pretty sure that she believes anyone who ever ate a chicken shawarma sandwich is a grave threat to this nation’s security. Let’s put it this way, the broad makes Benjamin Netanyahu look like a dove.
And her latest Arabic target is the new owner of Palace Sports and Entertainment. I’d HIGHLY advise you read her paranoid Gores ramblings for the comedic value alone. You can check out her three blogs on Gores here:
http://www.debbieschlussel.com/38058/threatened-by-new-palestinian-pistons-owner-tewfiq-tom-gores/
Now keep mind that there is absolutely ZERO evidence that Tom Gores has ever said anything remotely anti-Semitic or even anti-Israel. There has NEVER been an insinuation by anyone that the man has financed Hamas or any other “Anti-Israel” organization.
The following is a 6,392-word article that was posted by the San Diego Reader in 2009 when Platinum Equity purchased the San Diego Union-Tribune:
http://www.sandiegoreader.com/news/2009/may/13/cover/
That article it would seem is the total basis for Schlussel’s asinine attack on Gores and his family. She has gone as far to rename the Pistons the Detroit Palestinians.
All of this hatred because:
A) One of Tom’s uncles is allegedly an 85-year old gangster in Genesee County who holds a grudge against the Jews for some rough treatment back in the motherland.
B) Gores has a female cousin (Hala Gores) in Portland, Oregon who is a lawyer/Palestinian activist.
Now keep in mind, NOBODY in the media knows jack-shit about Gores’ Middle East beliefs. He DIDN’T EVEN COMMENT ON HIS POLITICAL BELIEFS WHEN HE PURCHASED A NEWSPAPER WITH A FUCKING EDITIORIAL PAGE SO DO YOU THINK HE IS GOING TO START ESPOUSING OPINIONS NOW BECAUSE HE NOW OWNS AN NBA TEAM AND PINE KNOB???
After the Pellicano trial, Gores totally clammed up about everything related to his personal life. If you think you are going to get anything out of the aspiring GQ model just go back and watch his Palace introductory presser or read his “Coo and A” with Mitch Albom that was posted in yesterday’s Freep.
This is all guilt by familial association and it is totally unfair to Tom Gores. Not that I would expect anything more from a wackjob conservative blogger like Schlussel.
How would you like it if outsiders started judging you by the actions of your relatives? I am guessing that there are a couple of loose cannons in your family that you wouldn’t want to be associated with.
All of this reminds me of a story my grandfather used to tell me. Now, my grandpa was a World War II hero who was honored for saving another soldier’s life. He was the most honest and generous person you could ever meet.
His older brother? Well, he was enlisted in the U.S. Armed Services as well. When he was alive he liked to tell a story that he had been a POW back in the day.
And yes, it was true, my great-uncle was a prisoner. The only problem was the country detaining him was THE UNITED FUCKING STATES. It seems he had pistol-whipped a fellow soldier and got thrown in the clink by the MPs.
The other story my grandpa used to tell me was that the FBI used to knock on his door looking for his brother from time to time.
The Feds used to warn my grandpa that if he knew of his brother’s whereabouts and wasn’t letting on that it could be considered the harboring of a criminal. (Kind of like that “Family Ties” episode with Tom Hanks as Meredith Baxter-Birney’s brother.)
There was some real concern that federal agents would be staked outside my parent’s wedding just in case my great-uncle decided to show up.
Anyway, to make a long story somewhat shorter, judging a person by their uncle and cousin’s actions is a dangerous thing to do and morally reprehensible.
Hey, maybe Tom Gores has some radical belief that there should be a two-state solution in the Middle East and Israel should go back to its’ pre-1967 borders.
That would only qualify him to be the President of the United States and probably a traitor in Miskayt Schlussel’s eyes.
On the Other Hand …
You do have to wonder what Bill Davidson would be thinking about all of this.
In a September 2008 interview with Condescending Baggins, Davidson assured Pistons fans that there was a plan for the franchise after his death and it involved the team staying in HIS family.
Well, not only has the team been sold by Bill’s widow, Karen, it is now in the control of a guy with Palestinian heritage.
Now maybe Mr. D would be offended by Schlussel’s blog posts, but who knows? The deceased billionaire was a HUGE Pro-Israel Republican who donated 75 million dollars to build a hospital in Jerusalem. And that wasn’t his only sizeable grant to the Jewish State.
Furthermore, on TWO occasions Davidson donated the MAXIMUM AMOUNT ALLOWED UNDER LAW to Schlussel’s failed campaigns for the Michigan House.
Now try to follow me on this …
Not only did Karen go directly against Bill’s last wishes by peddling the team, she sold it for a song to a man** whose family supports a group of terrorists who would like to blow up the hospital Davidson helped build.
It goes to show all of you billionaires reading this, be careful when you are selecting your Trophy Wife.
(** – If you happen to believe the opinion of a candidate Davidson supported twice.)
Not the Sharpest Drew Update
It never ceases to amaze me how the journalistic standards at the Detroit Free Press have fallen since I was a kid.
From the embarrassing Frodo Albom episodes to allowing a COLUMNIST (Michael Rosenberg) to carryout a personal vendetta against Rich Rodriguez in the name of investigative reporting.
But the fact that they continue to employ Drew Sharp is beyond comprehension. Last month I detailed that Sharp wrote a column about Justin Verlander’s no-hitter when he clearly wasn’t watching the game. Of course, nothing ever came of it.
In Saturday’s paper, Sharp wrote a column regarding Joe Dumars’ relationship with Gores. In the article, Sharp stated that Dumars should get two more years to right the ship that he has crashed into an iceberg.
Now reasonable people can argue if Dumars deserves another shot with the Pistons. That isn’t my issue.
No, the problem is that Sharp is RELATED to Dumars’ second-in-command, Scott Perry.
Perry is the team’s Vice-President of Basketball Operations and oh, he just happens to be Sharp’s cousin.
Because of that relationship, I don’t think Sharp should even be allowed to cover the Pistons in his opinion pieces.
BUT AT THE VERY, VERY, VERY LEAST, he should disclose the family relationship whenever he covers the Pistons and ESPECIALLY when he is lobbying for his cousin’s boss to get two more years in his position.
(I am not sure what Dumars’ most brilliant move has been as President of the Pistons. Signing Chauncey Billups as a Free-Agent or neutering the two most rabid pit-bulls in the Detroit media. We all know the Rob Parker story and if you somehow don’t then click here: http://www2.metrotimes.com/editorial/story.asp?id=6149.)
But I have to give credit where credit is due. Since that column about Edwin Encarancion’s ‘weak tap between third and the mound’, Sharp has become much more honest.
In an article a couple of weeks ago regarding the Lions refusal to participate in HBO’s “Hard Knocks” program he wrote:
“I haven’t watched one second of the series. It’s no different than the litany of other pseudo-reality television series. “Real” is the director’s interpretation after hours of editing. It’s all nicely packaged entertainment.”
Are you fucking kidding me? In one sentence he states that he hasn’t watched ONE SECOND of “Hard Knocks.” In the next sentence he states that it is no different than any other reality program!!!!!!!!
Just fucking kill me.
How the hell could you know that, you dumbshit?!?!?!? Cuz, ya just said you’ve never watched the show!!!!!
I mean, HBO never does anything different than let’s say FOX or ABC.
Shit, there is ZERO difference between “Deadwood”, “Boardwalk Empire”, “Rome”, “The Sopranos”, ‘The Wire” and the dramas on network TV.
Come on, are you going to tell me that HBO does comedy better than “According to Jim”? Nah, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and “The Larry Sanders Show” were similar shlock.
And you ALWAYS see miniseries like “John Adams” and “Band of Brothers” on the WB Network.
To lump the Emmy Award winning production of “Hard Knocks” to garbage like “The Surreal Life” or “The Bachelor” would be like comparing Sharp to Jim Murray or Dick Schaap.
But like I said, Stuttering Sharp is making progress. At least now when he writes a column without ACTUALLY watching the subject, he cops to it.
Maybe I am making a difference.
Dumbest Fucking Tweet of the Week Brought To You By Anthony Weiner
This was a close call. It was going to take a pretty awful Twat to top 97.1 Mop-Up Man Jeff Riger’s asinine suggestion that the Pistons would consider Tom Izzo as their head coach.
But former Free Press Tigers’ beat writer and current Fox Sports contributor Pope Jon Paul Morosi the 3rd Tweeted this gem on Saturday night:
“With existing options, Don Kelly is a nice No. 2 hitter for the #Tigers.”
Yes, jackass, a guy with a career batting average of .237 and on-base percentage of .281 is a wonderful choice to bat second in ANY lineup.
If Brandon Inge French-kissed every other member of the current Tigers squad EXCEPT KELLY and gave them mono, KELLY STILL WOULDN’T BE A NICE #2 HITTER FOR THIS TEAM!!!!!
The Pope went to Harvard. Ya gotta believe me on this.
And Finally …
On Sunday my wife and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary.
Or as I like to call it, the second anniversary of the day that Eldaafer nosed out Nite Lite in the Brooklyn Handicap to cost me a $1,900 Pick-Four in the last race at Belmont Park.
To celebrate the occasion (the wedding not the HORRID beat at Belmont) we went to Ocean Prime … AND I sent out this Tweet:
“Don’t get me wrong, I’d fuck either @FSDetroit_Girls , but I’d lick Lauren’s asshole clean.”
Is there a luckier woman in the world than Melissa?