By Jeff Moss
July 12, 2011
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
There are only 19 shopping days until the Major League Baseball non-waiver trade deadline and Tigers owner Mike Ilitch is about to be put to the test.
For all the talk that Dave Dombrowski and Jim Leyland are on the clock (and rightfully so), there is ONLY ONE person in the Detroit baseball universe that can step up and deliver the Tigers an AL Central crown.
And that is the man who signs the paychecks every other week, Mister I™ (Media Suck-Ass.)
Leyland had the chance to distinguish himself this season by benching Brandon Inge and Ryan Raburn PERMANENTLY and he has failed miserably.
Dombrowski could have avoided a lot of this turmoil by keeping Scott Sizemore and forcing Cancer Stick to play him, but instead he stupidly traded the on-base machine to Oakland.
So now it is time for Big Daddy Mike to step in and save the day. Time to open up the checkbook once again and throw some money at the problems that Dombrowski’s mismanagement has created.
On Fox-2’s Sportsworks this past Sunday night, Dan Miller asked Bob Wojnowski and Jamie Samuelsen which team in the AL Central Detroit baseball fans should be worried about the most in the second half. Wojo mentioned the White Sox and JB brought up the Twins.
But the real answer is neither of those teams nor the Indians are the major obstacle to a Tigers division title. The only team that can prevent the Tigers from winning the AL Central is the TIGERS THEMSELVES.
The crown is right there for the taking in this horror film of a division and the Tigers have the most correctible problems of anyone in the Central. (A division that as of the All-Star break has a COLLECTIVE MINUS 135 RUN DIFFERENTIAL.)
First of all, the offense is THIS close to being a force. You’ve got the best hitting catcher in the AL, the second best hitter in ALL of baseball, a clutch Designated Hitter who has been Miguel Cabrera’s best friend this side of a bottle of Buchanan’s Scotch, a shortstop with an OPS Of .891 and a damn good second-year player in Brennan Boesch.
Shit, at the break there are only 12 guys hitting over .300 in the AL and the Tigers have FOUR OF THEM.
In one fell swoop, Ilitch could authorize a trade and solve the RABINGE debacle. Here is a deal that ESPN.com Insider Jonah Keri proposed the Tigers and Cubs making in his column this past Monday:
“Detroit Tigers trade Wade Gaynor and Bruce Rondon to the Chicago Cubs for Aramis Ramirez, Kerry Wood and $4 million
Brandon Inge has been one of the worst everyday players in all of baseball, “hitting” .186/.253/.255. Meanwhile, Ramirez might be the hottest hitter in baseball right now, posting a 1.435 OPS so far this month to overcome a slow start.
It gets complicated with Ramirez’s contract, though. He’d be owed about $5 million for the rest of this year if he gets dealt near the deadline. Meanwhile, his $16 million club option would become a player option if he gets dealt, likely putting the Tigers on the hook for that salary — as well as the $6 million they’ll still owe Inge after this year. Still, Ramirez could provide a big boost for one of baseball’s most top-heavy lineups, making the Tigers potential favorites to win the AL Central. The Cubs’ willingness to handle some of the financial burden could make or break any Ramirez deal. Adding Wood, who struggles at times to find the strike zone but improves the Tigers’ bullpen depth, could further expedite a trade.
On the other side, Gaynor’s having an off-year after an impressive 2010, but he was a 20-20 player in college who could emerge as an everyday major league third baseman with further development. Rondon is a two-pitch reliever with iffy control but big-time strikeout potential.”
Forget about the Kerry Wood nonsense because I really don’t care about him and just concentrate on the improvement you would gain by acquiring Ramirez and benching Inge.
Just imagine a batting order that could look like this:
1) Austin Jackson (CF)
2) Brennan Boesch (LF)
3) Aramis Ramirez (3B)
4) Miguel Cabrera (1B)
5) Victor Martinez (DH)
6) Jhonny Peralta (SS)
7) Alex Avila (C)
8) Magglio Ordonez (RF)
9) Danny Worth (2B)
So you are telling me that we potentially could have that lineup in exchange for two iffy prospects? Where the fuck do I sign up?
With a legitimate corner infielder bat at third base in Ramirez the Tigers could afford to hand the second base job to Worth who is a far superior fielder to Raburn. And seriously, could Worth possibly put up a worse OPS than Raburn’s .609.
The team could also move Ordonez down the lineup and anything the team got from him in the second half would be a bonus.
The proposed ESPN.com trade would also do wonders for the collective psyche of diehard Tigers fans who want Brandon Inge removed from power more than embattled Libyans want to see Muammar Gaddafi dead.
The guy’s batting average is .059 in his last 11 games, but according to Inge he is, “actually hitting the ball pretty damn good.” I am frightened to know what his average would be if he wasn’t hitting the ball “pretty damn good.” Is it possible to have a negative BA?
Then the asshole who is making $5.75 million a year had the nerve to say, “The thing is I think everyone just needs to, I don’t know, relax and get off me a little bit.”
Get off him a little bit? Get OFF HIM A LITTLE BIT? For Christ’s sake, this guy is lucky that someone hasn’t gone all Robert DeNiro in “The Fan” on him yet.
This human paraquat is on pace to hit two homers and knock in 30 runs. In a state with an unemployment rate of nearly 11 percent, this fuckstick is getting paid about $192,000 per RBI and he can’t take the criticism?
I mean, Michelle Bachmann’s husband is in less denial than this lunatic.
And please spare me the “Don Kelly is the solution at third base” nonsense. Yes, I would rather have Quad-A Kelly playing third for the Tigers right now, but that isn’t saying much.
I would also take George Kell playing the hot corner over Inge at this point and he has been dead for two years. At least Kell’s corpse wouldn’t hit into double plays or say infuriating things like, “I can hit a home run by just flicking my wrists.”
Furthermore, desiring Kelly as the 3B replacement is the Detroit baseball equivalent of being lost in the desert and in desperate need of water to live. Yes, I would drink Gabourey “Precious” Sidibe’s ass juice to survive, but it wouldn’t be my PREFERRED method of refreshment.
The Tigers need to make a major acquisition and Aramis Ramirez should be the target. No questions asked.
And all Ilitch has to do is give Dombrowski about the same payroll flexibility that the Tigers have had in the past two years to get a deal like this done. Especially if the Scrubbies are willing to kick in a little dough to make it happen.
As much as I DESPISE Cancer Stick and as disappointed as I am in Dombrowski, the 2011 season can still be salvaged by the owner of the team.
The choice is simple. Either Ilitch can have a World Series title in his obituary or he can pinch a few pennies and leave some more of his millions in his will for Mike, Jr. to spend on blow and Denise to shop for Jimmy Choos.
What’s it gonna be, Pizza Man?