By Jeff Moss
September 23, 2011
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
It was an interesting week in Detroit Sports with the Tigers officially capturing the AL Central and then going into “Mail-It In Mode” while the Lions demolished the Kansas City Chiefs.
And what better way to chronicle these events than the DSR’s Power Rankings?
This week, we are adding a new feature to the Power Rankings. Ummmm, actual Power Rankings. So at the end of this article you will find the Top 10 in Detroit Sports and the Bottom 5.
You can Tweet your suggestions for next week’s list to @JeffMossDSR or @DetSportsRag.
“National Baseball Writer”
About a week ago, Tigers mismanager Jim Leyland, was asked a question by a journalist during his pregame media scrum regarding the atrocity that is the American League Central.
Cancer Stick proceeded to spew his lunch all over the assembled media while lambasting this “National Baseball Writer.”
Leyland wanted the reporters (and his players) to know that NOBODY was taking ANYTHING away from the team’s division winning achievement.
Emaciated Adolf went as far as to ask this “National Baseball Writer” who he or she predicted to win the Central at the beginning of the season. It was reported that the nameless, faceless “National Baseball Writer” had picked the White Sox to take the crown.
So the LOCAL journalists felt it was appropriate to report on this story. And to even go as far as mention who “National Baseball Writer” had predicted to win the Central.
So why do I keep referring to this person as “National Baseball Writer?” Because nobody would name this reporter!!! I read two articles (Chris Iott on MLIVE and Drew Sharp in the Freep) on the Leyland blow-up and each story referred to this person as “National Baseball Writer.”
I have no fucking clue why these dumbass writers felt compelled to “protect” the scribe in their articles, but I have learned one thing about newspapers from this situation.
There are two classes of subjects that get special treatment in the press and have their names withheld. Journalists who get reamed out by crusty and senile baseball managers and ……………. RAPE VICTIMS.
To his credit, Tom Gage finally did acknowledge in the Detroit News that the reporter in question was Jorge Ortiz of the USA Today.
I wonder if Ortiz was as pissed at Gage as the maid (Nafissatou Diallo) who allegedly got raped by Dominique Strauss-Kahn was at the New York Daily News for outing her.
Drew Sharp
Remember when this balding idiot wrote in the Free Press that Jair Jurjjens would never have been more than a fourth starter for the Tigers and it wasn’t a big deal that Dave Dombrowski dealt him to Atlanta?
Because a control pitcher with a 91 mph fastball who works both corners of the plate can only be a .500 pitcher in the American League where offensive juggernauts eat up that type of pitching?
And then when provided with statistics showing that Jurjjens has actually been more productive in his AL starts since the trade to the Braves he just ignored the empirical evidence.
Well, he can’t ignore Doug Fister. You know, A PITCHER WHO DOESN’T THROW VERY HARD AND WORKS BOTH SIDES OF THE PLATE!!
Not only is Fister a clear #2 starter on the Tigers (even without the requisite 96 mph heater that Sharp insists he would need), but NOT THE SHARPEST DREW HIMSELF has heaped praise on Fister recently in his fucking columns!
It is one thing to be proven wrong in such a short period of time by a player that you allegedly cover on a daily basis. It is another thing to refuse to admit you were wrong and just write glowing pieces about Fister like your Jurjjen’s idiocy never occurred.
What a duplicitous dolt.
Pat Caputo
It is a tough call who the bigger moron is between Sharp and Caputo. This is a guy who the morning of the Fister trade went on the 97.1 airwaves and proclaimed that he didn’t like the acquisition because he was dubious of Fister’s record.
Even though Fister possessed a 3.33 ERA and 1.17 WHIP with the Mariners, this obese slob believed the 6-foot-8 right hander’s 3-12 Won/Loss record was more indicative of Fister’s abilities than his way above average peripheral numbers.
Because, you know, Fister had a ton of control over his anemic run support in Seattle where his team scored a total of TEN runs for him in his last TEN outings.
Placing Wins over WHIP, ERA, PERA and VORP is the 2011 baseball equivalent of believing the Earth is flat™ (Sharri Sheppard.)
I mean, who could fathom that a guy with the immense speaking ability of Caputo would espouse such caveman thoughts?
The media in this town know baseball. Ya gotta believe me.
John Keating
Because I am an old fucking man, I remember the good old days when reporters and broadcasters covering their local teams on regional networks attempted to keep some level of professionalism while doing their job.
That was in the days before certain teams formed their own networks (the Yankees with YES for example) and certain announcers got fired for being too harsh on the players they covered (Steve Stone with the Cubs.)
But as homerish as the slapdicks have become on Fox Sports Detroit, these ass clowns took it to a whole new level when the Tigers clinched the AL Central in Oakland last week.
Ryan Field and Rod Allen were decked out in AL Central Champ hats and shirts while partying like they actually had something to do with the celebration. Allen, who only had 27 at-bats less this year than he did for the 1984 Tigers, was swigging champagne with some of the team’s players.
Field possessed the look of love in his eyes while “interviewing” the team and had the audacity to place a picture of himself with Miguel Cabrera in matching outfits on his Facebook page.
I mean, do you remember when Edward R. Murrow took a photo of himself celebrating the end of World War II with Harry Truman and put it on his MySpace page? I am pretty sure the pair were wearing hats that said, “Allies 1 Axis 0.”
The only member of the FSD crew that retained any credibility during this embarrassing display was John Keating who refused to wear a championship t-shirt and remained in his champagne drenched suit for the duration of the party.
Kudos to Keating for attempting to remain objective while the rest of those Fanboy ass-kissers further damaged their credibility. Not that they really had any in the first place.
NBA Lockout
Great news for Pistons fans this week as no progress was made in the CBA talks between David Stern and Billy Hunter forcing the NBA to postpone training camp and exhibition games as the continued march towards a hard cap in name or practicality moves forward.
And it is nice to see that the leaders of the hawkish owners sect (Robert Sarver and Dan Gilbert) aren’t worried about perpetuating the stereotype that all Jews are miserly.
Speaking of Judaism and the NBA CBA, it would appear the best chance that Hunter has to hash out a deal with the owners would be a 48-hour window of opportunity that starts this Wednesday night as Rosh Hashanuh begins.
You see, not only are the most pro-Hard Cap insistent owners Jewish, but the agents (Jeff Schwartz, Arn Tellem, Mark Bartelstein) who are trying to undermine Hunter and the Player’s Association with the threat of decertification are Kosher also.
If the NBA Union chief was smart, he would wait until Thursday morning when Stern, Sarver, Gilbert, Schwartz, Tellem and Bartelstein are all at shul and coordinate an emergency bargaining session with dovish goyim owners like Jerry Buss (Lakers) and Wyc Grousbeck (Celtics.)
Fellow soft cap sympathizers who happen to be Jewish (Mickey Arison and Jerry Reinsdorf) could then lock the High Holiday patrons into the synagogue while a new deal is ratified.
And while you may think that scenario might be a long shot, based on the news coming out of Thursday’s meetings, it might be the best chance we have of seeing Brandon Knight in a Pistons uniform during the 2011-2 season.
Darren McCarty
In this horrible economy, it was nice to see former Red Wing right winger Darren McCarty get a new job this past week.
And while it wasn’t an analyst position at the NHL Network or a gig doing intermission reports on Versus, it is gainful employment nonetheless.
Yes, the man who scored one of the biggest goals in Red Wings history (the GWG against the Flyers in Game 4 of the 1997 Finals) is now working at a pawn shop. As apparently the position at Denny McClain’s old 7-11 store was taken by a guy named Mr. Patel.
And while the pay probably isn’t comparable to the seven-figure salary the bruiser once commanded in the NHL, he will have the fringe benefit of having a pawn connection the next time he goes broke at the poker tables and needs some quick cash.
Because I am guessing his ex-girlfriend in Alberta has cancelled the Visa that D-Mac used at a Calgary casino the last time the former enforcer needed a cash advance.
Doug Karsch
This imbecile actually had the audacity to go on the air on Wednesday at “The Ticket” and suggest that the Tigers starting pitcher in Game #1 of the ALDS should be Rick Porcello.
Seriously, I am not making this up.
Yep, Ann Arbor Douglas Allen Karsch the Third went on a SPORTS TALK RADIO PROGRAM and stated that Leyland should pitch Porcello first so the Tigers could have an advantage in pitching matchups for games two through four.
Someone has to tell me how this abortion has a paying job spouting SPORTS opinions. Please, I am begging you.
Why not just save Justin Verlander for Game 4 and REALLY sandbag the opposition? I mean, can you picture JV going against the Red Sox or Yankees #4 starter?
My office is literally a ¼ mile away from 97.1’s studios at the Hunter’s Ridge Office Plaza. I can only hope that one day on my way to Max and Erma’s for lunch that I “accidentally” run over this monumental waste of human flesh in my car thus doing the rest of Metro Detroit a HUGE favor.
And now this week’s Top 10 in the DSR Power Rankings:
1) Justin Verlander
2) Matthew Stafford
3) Ernie Harwell’s Lasik Surgery
4) Martin Mayhew’s Postgame Manners
5) Roary
6) Dave Dombrowski
7) Gunther Cunningham
8) Gustav Nyquist
9) 6-foot-8 Tigers RELIEF Pitchers
10) John Keating
And this week’s Bottom 5:
5) Brad Penny
4) Fox Sports Detroit
3) Pat Caputo
2) Jim Leyland’s Tighty-Whities
1) Doug Karsch