105.1 Calls the Cops on DSR at Matt Dery Golf Outing

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2014-06-09 18.50.59

By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@Gmail.com
June 9, 2014

Well, you can now add the Matt Dery Ratt Dreary Golf Outing to a long list of events and places the DetroitSportsRag is not welcome. The DSR. The only website not allowed to contribute to charity.

The way Detroit sports teams and radio stations treat me, you’d think that I am some sort of cross between Osama bin-Laden and Donald Sterling at this point. Remember that time I used a surface-to-air missile to take out Ford Field? Oh right, I have never done anything remotely violent to anyone my entire life.


What happened THIS time? Well, here is the story.

Detroit Sports 105.1 put on a golf outing today at Twin Lakes Country Club in Oakland Township. They were hoping to have 72 people show up for this, which would have outpaced their entire listening audience.

So, being the prankster that I am, I figured it would be funny if the DSR fielded a foursome just to make everyone at 105.1 uncomfortable for a few hours. Plus, we have some really good golfers as members of the DirtSpurt and what would be funnier than the DSR taking down first prize and the “Diesel” “Weasel” having to hand us the trophy at the dinner?

A couple of weeks ago, I signed the group up on the charity’s website and paid in full. Then, on Friday at 3:00pm, we received a phone call from Julie Law (sacrificial lamb marketing director at 105.1) telling us that there was a glitch on their website.

That this was the first time Greater Media used this program to book a golf tournament and they OVERSOLD the outing. Now, keep in mind I was receiving this phone call five business hours before the event was to take place.

I received confirmation that the DSR was playing in the scramble on May 28th. This was a Tweet from 105.1’s Twitter account SIX days later:

It gets worse. The station was promoting the event ALL last week. Remember how I got that phone call at 3pm on Friday? This was posted on their FACEBOOK PAGE at 1:52pm THAT DAY!!!!!

Only a couple days left to register for @Dery1051’s Golf Outing this Monday!http://www.detroitsports1051.com/MattDeryGolfOuting.aspx… …
1:52 PM – 6 Jun 2014

I can’t provide you a screen-grab of this Tweet because 105.1 deleted any mention of it once the shit hit the fan on Friday afternoon.

Let’s go back to the phone call with Julie Law though. During that three-minute call, Law REPEATEDLY tried to assure me this was a simple computer glitch. I went all Moss on her and accused the station of banning me because we say mean things about their on-air personalities but she wasn’t having it.

This was all a simple misunderstanding not unlike Milton Waddams failing to get his paycheck at Initech. I was assured that this had NOTHING to do with me mocking the station’s ratings; calling Drew Lane a pill-popping moron who looks like a woman or emptying my inbox of embarrassing missives from Dery.

No. Computer glitch. Simple mistake. Hell, Julie Law even offered our foursome the swag bag everyone else at the event was going to get.

[I told her no thank you. I didn’t want a bunch of shit with Detroit Sports 105.1 logos all over it.]

However, our group still wanted to golf. People had already made plans to take that day off, so why waste the chance to hang out? And Twin Lakes is a 27-hole golf course, meaning we could show up and still play nine holes on a different course far away from the charity event.

Hell, I already had dropped about $150 on custom-made DSR golf shirts, so why not play? We signed up for an 11:00am tee time and it was pure coincidence that that was also when the Mount Dry outing was starting.

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Nothing strange occurred before we hit the first tee. Right after that above picture was taken, Josh Kreger and I walked out of the clubhouse in our DSR Golf Shirts and right passed Ryan Ermanni, who said hello to us and I greeted him back.

I said hey or hello or something of the like. I wanted to just have a relaxing day so I didn’t bomb him with, “Hey, what’s up, ya racist, lying, scumbag, degenerate gambler homophobe??!!”

After Ermanni figured out who we were, he proceeded to the sign-in tent and asked, “What are they doing here?”

Welp, that’s pretty weird. Why would an on-air host know about the computer glitch? Why would it be odd that we actually had showed up for this event? Hmmmmm.

Anyway, we finish the first hole and some young cute ranger in a golf cart drives up to us on the second tee. She tells us that the radio station had accused us of stealing the golf carts, that we weren’t supposed to be on the course and that she was sent out to get to the bottom of it.

Kreger — who had paid for the golf and the carts — pulled out a receipt and proved that we didn’t commit grand theft golf cart and that we were legitimately supposed to be on the 20th hole.

I thought that would be the end of this bizarre inquisition, as the poor girl was very apologetic for the confusion. Hell, we didn’t even REQUEST the carts. Her cohort at the club took our clubs in the parking lot and put them on the vehicles for us even though we explicitly told the employee that we were NOT a part of the 105.1 event.

Even with all of this evidence, she still advised us that “Chris” would be coming out to talk to us about the situation.

So, we get to the third tee box and here comes “Chris,” who I can only assume was a manager. He asked for our identification and when he saw that mine read “Jiff Myst” he said we would have to leave the course and go home.

I could give you the play-by-play of that encounter, but just listen to the actual audio of our discussion instead.

Yes, THEY CALLED THE COPS. Now, I was very confused. Because we were not allowed to participate only because of a computer glitch. That’s what Julie in marketing had told us.

Were TWO Oakland County Sheriffs waiting for me in the clubhouse to investigate whether or not I had hacked 105.1 computer software? Did they have me confused with the notorious hacker who shares the name Jeff Moss?

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Or was 105.1’s entire story about overbooking the event all a bunch of fucking bullshit? Could it be that Matt Dery and his crew were a bunch of abject cowards who sent some poor woman to do their dirty work?

YA THINK?

I mean, can you imagine sending TWO Oakland County Sheriffs out to handle this non-situtation? We were GOLFING and minding our own business!!!

Fuck, if we wanted to start trouble we could have golfed next door at Black Heath, which is basically adjacent to Twin Lakes, and made a spectacle of ourselves. We had to be a good half-mile from anyone involved in Dery’s outing.

TWO SHERIFFS. This was even more ridiculous than the Lions calling the cops on me.

Did they think I was going to stab someone on the course????

Or maybe — like O.J. Simpson — the sheriffs were at the course looking for the “real” killers of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman.

Instead of giving you a breakdown of the conversation with the course’s upper management and the POE-lease, here is the video of the encounter …..

Absolutely insane behavior. First, these LIARS tell me that we got bumped like a lesser-known comedian on the “Tonight Show” when a star goes three segments. Then we have the COPS called on us because we dared play on a DIFFERENT FUCKING COURSE!!!!!!!!!!

As DSR Elite Member Brian Richard Coburn pointed out, couldn’t these officers of the law have been serving the public and the taxpayer more effectively by looking for a missing child?

Or fuck, how about working a cold case like Jimmy Hoffa’s whereabouts or the identity of the Oakland County Child Killer?

Or how about anything but wasting time kicking one of the better amateur golfers in the STATE OF MICHIGAN off a course for no god damn reason.

Anyway, we left peacefully and enjoyed a nice lunch while rehashing the absolute craziness we just witnessed.

But this story is far from over. Obviously, it was Ermanni who called the cops on us. I can only hope that it was a 911 conversation because I am going to FOIA Oakland County for a copy of that call. I can only imagine how that went down.

And I am about to get medieval on every employee of Detroit Sports 105.1. If there is an email or Twitter Direct Message of Dery’s that I haven’t already released, it is coming.

The Ryan Ermanni story on the DSR that has up until this point been password-protected? That’s being unlocked soon.

And I am working on some stories about Rush Limbaugh, errr I mean Drew Lane.

It’s going to get ugly.

THIS ugly ….

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Oh yeah, I ALMOST forgot about Tom Mazawey. In the above video, when I told this douche bag producer to come over and explain why the cops were called, he got this look on his face like he was going to murder me. Right in front of the sheriffs.

It seems that he had to be escorted into the clubhouse because he was so angry at me. I am terrified, old man.

Mazawey was much more jovial at a 2006 Super Bowl party when he was hitting on my friend Lauren and asking her to go to another party with him before giving his card to her and telling her to “call him.”

She was severely creeped out by the experience — she is half this monster’s age — and probably went home and took a long shower.

I’m pretty sure the “Maz” was married with kids at the time.

Stay tuned ……