By Jeff Moss
November 16, 2011
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
A couple of weeks ago the Detroit Red Wings were mired in an unusual for them winless streak and in an almost panic move they recalled prospect Gustav Nyquist from the Grand Rapids Griffins of the AHL.
I was ecstatic at the promotion for a number of reasons and stated on my Twitter account (@JeffMossDSR) that Nyquist’s first NHL game was my most anticipated debut of a Red Wings rookie since Henrik Zetterberg’s unveiling in 2002.
And it wasn’t because I had any delusions that Nyquist is going to be the next Pavel Datsyuk for the team or anything of the sort.
No, I think the undersized left winger will probably end up being a Rich Man’s version of Jiri Hudler and eventually might chip in 25 goals as one of the Wings top six forwards.
I didn’t think Nyquist was going to be a savior, but AT LEAST HIS PRESENCE WOULD BE SOMETHING DIFFERENT AND INTERESTING TO WATCH ON A TEAM THAT IS ABOUT AS STALE AS A WEEK OLD CHALLAH.
The former Hobey Baker finalist at the University of Maine made quite an impression in the exhibition season and if Dave Dombrowski was the GM of the Wings, he surely would have made the team coming out of camp.
But even though the Tigers and Red Wings are owned by the same hairpiece, they have totally different philosophies when it comes to prospects.
The baseball franchise will call up a young player the nanosecond that prospect can contribute to the big league roster in any capacity whatsoever. And sometimes even when they cannot contribute to the major league squad (Please see: Miller, Andrew or Ruffin, Chance)
In contrast, Kenny Holland buries a guy in Grand Rapids until the player is fully developed and THEN gives him another year in the AHL to make sure he is really ready. (This is Jimmy Howard’s third season in the NHL and I am pretty sure he graduated high school with Tony Esposito.)
That is when the Wings have a prospect in their pipeline at all. Here is a list of the Wings top picks between 2005 and 2009:
2005 – Jakub Kindl: Currently the sixth or seventh defenseman on the Wings
2006 – Cory Emmerton: Presently a fourth line forward on the Wings
2007 – Brendan Smith: Started the season in Grand Rapids after a preseason suspension and will make his NHL debut Thursday night
2008 – Thomas McCollum: A goalie who has been a HUGE bust and can’t even win the starting netminder job for the GRIFFINS
2009 – Landon Ferraro – Another probable bust who is currently struggling in Grand Rapids after a monumentally disappointing end to his junior career
Not exactly the heyday of Glen Sather or Bill Torrey, now is it?
What I find hilarious is that back when the Lions were looking to replace Matt Millen as the General Manager of the Lions, Freep.com blogger Jamie Samuelsen actually suggested in WRITING that the Ford Family should consider Ken Holland as his replacement.
And he wasn’t kidding. Samuelsen actually thought that it would be a wise decision to replace a guy who was a TV commentator with no experience as an executive with a GENERAL FREAKING MANAGER of an ICE HOCKEY TEAM.
And maybe JB wasn’t that far off because Holland’s drafting in recent years has been very Millen-esque.
(Not that you would EVER hear anyone in the Detroit sports media criticize Saint Holland for his recent piss-poor drafting failures.)
Look, I am not trying to be an ingrate here. I appreciate all of Holland’s quality work in Detroit. I am thrilled that he lucked out with Zetterberg (5th round) and Datsyuk (6th round) and that the second best defenseman in the entire history of the NHL seems to have discovered the Fountain of Youth.
But I am sorry, regular season viewing of this team has become a chore.
There is rarely a new face to get excited about unless you are a huge fan of Ian White or Mike Commodore in which case you freaking need therapy.
Yeah, Darren Helm is fast, but if I wanted to watch a speed skater zip around a rink with no chance of scoring I’d YouTube a video of Apolo Ohno.
And even the “Euro Twins” aren’t playing particularly well this season. Henrik has a whopping six points in 15 games. And when asked yesterday for an assessment of his own play this year, Datsyuk said he has been “AWFUL.”
(And can someone explain to me why Ken Daniels calls #13 and #40 the “Euro Twins” anyway? They don’t look like each other. They aren’t from the same country and they don’t have the same last name. Shit, their style of play isn’t EVEN similar. They are “Twins” like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Fucking Devito.)
So that is why I was excited about Nyquist’s arrival. At the very least I was about to watch a young prospect with offensive skills developing while wearing the Winged Wheel.
So what happened? The kid got 11 minutes in his NHL debut and was promptly sent back to the land of DeVos the next day.
Seriously, the Wings are such a fucking bore right now that their presenting sponsor (Amway Products) is basically the Jehovah Witness of retail with a splash of Pyramid Scheme mixed in for good measure.
When I brought up the subject of this article a couple of days ago on the DSR’s Facebook page, it was insinuated that I was somehow spoiled by the Wings success.
That maybe I wasn’t thankful for the 20-year playoff run the team has enjoyed.
That isn’t the case at all. I am very appreciative of the Wings success that has occurred for my entire adult life. But if you are going to lose in the second round of the playoffs every year to the San Jose Sharks, at least entertain me in the meantime.
Because of the piece of shit hard salary cap instituted by Gary Bettman a few years back, the Wings currently have a team payroll that is 19th in the NHL.
Ten years ago the Wings were coming off a summer in which they added Brett Hull, Luc Robitaille and Dominek Hasek to their ALREADY star-studded roster.
Today? Our total payroll is FIVE MILLION LESS THAN THE COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS!!!!!!
And I understand this team isn’t going to compete for a Stanley Cup in perpetuity. And part of me wouldn’t mind going through a rough year or two while enjoying the benefit of a Top 5 pick for the first time since Keith Primeau was a teenager in Niagara Falls.
How did it work out for the Pittsburgh Penguins when they sucked for a couple of seasons and then drafted Evgeni Malkin and Sidney Crosby?
Or the Blackhawks when they missed the postseason for a few years and were rewarded with Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane?
And if you would rather watch this vanilla Detroit roster than an Edmonton Oilers lineup featuring Taylor Hall and Ryan Nugent-Hopkins-Rodham-Clinton then I don’t know what to tell ya.
The thought of the Sarnia Sting’s Nail Yakupov in a Wings uniform next year is a lot more inviting than the actuality of Todd Bertuzzi taking another stupid ass penalty.
Shit, I wouldn’t mind a blockbuster trade of just about ANYONE on the roster™ (Philadelphia Flyers) in an effort to shake things up on this snoozer of a lineup.
At this point the Red Wings remind me a lot of the HBO series “Hung”.
The Thomas Jane “comedy” isn’t very good. It isn’t compelling and I lose interest pretty quickly, but hey, it takes place in DETROIT so I keep tuning in.
Ladies and Gentleman, your 2011-2 Detroit Red Wings.
“Hung” without the benefit of seeing Anne Heche’s tits once in a while.