By Jeff Moss
November 29, 2011
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
After spewing almost 5,000 words in my Lions vs. Packers Diary, I am a little spent. So instead of taking a hiatus, I’ll do the next best thing.
The following is the latest edition of J-Moss Power Rankings.
Chris McCosky, Detroit News Lions Beat Writer
Even for a man nicknamed, Officer Barbrady, the meltdown of this Lions beat writer in the past week has been amazing to watch.
I never thought that he could top his ‘The Pistons aren’t going to trade for Rasheed Wallace’ take just minutes before Joe Dumars acquired the enigmatic power forward, but the last few days have been his tour de force in retard.
First he took offense to Adam Schefter’s report on ESPN that Ndamukong Suh’s teammates “felt he should be suspended” for his Thanksgiving stomping of Even Dietrich-Smith.
Here is what McCosky had to say about Schefter’s report in his blog on Sunday:
“What we heard were his teammates saying they “expected” him to be suspended. Not that he “should” be or that they wanted him to be. That’s a pretty big distinction. To say they thought he should be suspended indicates some fracturing in the room. I didn’t detact any of that.”
And yes, he did write “detact” and not “detect.”
In the past few days both Jay Glazer and Jason LaCanfora corroborated Schefter’s original story. But it wasn’t only the national NFL media who made a monkey out of McCosky.
Free Press beat writer Dave Birkett Tweeted this out on Tuesday, “For the record, there definitely are players in the Lions locker room who believe this suspension is warranted.”
And it shouldn’t really be surprising that his fellow teammates felt that Suh should be suspended since EVERYBODY IN THE FREE WORLD THOUGHT SUH SHOULD GET AT LEAST A ONE GAME BAN!!!!!
Move along, nothing to see here.
But Barbrady wasn’t done. He Tweeted this out to his followers on Tuesday morning:
“If the #Lions even briefly consider appealing Suh’s suspension, shame on them. I don’t think they will.”
Well, he was right about one thing. The Lions didn’t appeal the suspension. You know why?
Because, like just about every other union in the world, a suspension can only be appealed by the individual or their union!!!!
Move along, nothing to see here.
Those two errors would be a fairly normal week for the dumb, Irish bastard, but this oaf hit the Trifecta of Stupidity with this Tweet:
“It is my understanding that the team will separately fine Suh $25,000 — but that has not been, nor will it ever be, confirmed by the team”
Correct again, McMoron. This will never be confirmed by the team because an organization can’t fine a player for a penalty the league office has already addressed!!!!
Move along, nothing to see here.
Seriously, THIS guy has a job at a major daily newspaper covering an NFL franchise. After embarrassing himself with years of Pistons coverage in which he was the team’s media lapdog and then working the Red Wings beat when it could be debated if he even knew the difference between icing and offsides, this buffoon is now fucking up the most basic of facts on the Lions beat.
We are one Tom Gage retirement away from Officer Barbrady completing the career Grand Slam of Journalistic Malpractice in one sports town.
Dave Birkett, Detroit Free Press Lions Beat Writer
Bizarro McCosky wasn’t finished with his direct rebuttal of Barbrady’s assertion that Lions players didn’t believe Suh should be suspended by the league.
It was fascinating monitoring Birkett and McCosky’s Twitter feeds on Tuesday as it almost appeared that Birkett spent the entire day rebutting McCosky’s ignorance.
Birkett correctly Tweeted that only Suh or the NFLPA could appeal the suspension and that the Lions couldn’t fine the defensive tackle for the stomp either.
I wonder if Birkett goes to bed every night and thanks his maker that his competition at the other major daily is the human equivalent of the Washington Generals with Down’s Syndrome.
Detroit Pistons Fans
On the positive side the newly agreed upon CBA should help the Pistons compete even though the deal falls short of a hard salary cap.
The new agreement included a punitive luxury tax that could potentially force big market teams to pay triple the tax that they did under the previous CBA.
On the negative side the deal includes only one amnesty provision which allows a team to get rid of one horrid deal instead of the three the Pistons could have used to jettison Rip Hamilton, Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva.
On the positive side the new Midlevel Exception rule is beneficial to teams like the Pistons who refuse to pay the Luxury Tax.
On the negative side the 2011-2 season is actually going to happen.
Let’s call this one a wash.
Kyle Singler
According to Yahoo! Sports’ Adrian Wojnarowski (who should win a Pulitzer Prize for his coverage of the labor strife), the Pistons second round draft choice this past summer has been outstanding in Europe during the NBA lockout.
“There isn’t a young player who used lockout better to his advantage than Detroit rookie Kyle Singler, who has been fantastic in Spain.”
The news got even better on Tuesday as Singler agreed with Real Madrid to remain in Spain for the entire season and will delay his NBA debut until the 2012-3 season.
With the Pistons needing to absolutely tank this upcoming season for as many lottery balls as humanly possible, the last thing we needed was a surprise draftee to contribute to the team and get the Pistons a few unwanted victories.
Hopefully, the former Duke star develops his game in Europe and joins Harrison Barnes, Anthony Davis or Andre Drummond next season in Auburn Hills.
Because while this new CBA will help teams in cold market cities not named Chicago or New York compete, the only way a team like Detroit will ever contend for a title is a whole lot of luck inside that NBA Entertainment Studios in Secaucus, New Jersey during the third week of May.
Jamie Samuelsen’s Testicles
If you thought the worst Tweet emanating from JB this year was his asinine spoiler of the “Breaking Bad” finale, well you were wrong, Gus Being Dead wrong.
You see, Jamie’s wife (former WXYZ anchor Christy McDonald) has a vomit inducing blog in which she pontificates on pop culture and motherhood among other nauseating topics.
I only know this because Samuelsen Tweets his wife’s posts on his account.
So, a couple of weeks ago Jamie thought it was a brilliant idea to tell his followers about Christy’s latest blog entitled, “Married …. And Still Dating.”
Now, normally I wouldn’t read McDonald’s nonsense, but I was a little bit curious if the pair decided to start swinging and had joined AdultFriendFinder.com.
http://christymcdonald.wordpress.com/2011/11/17/married-and-still-dating/
Uhhh, no. This horrifying post was concerning the couple’s failure to find another married pair to spend time with.
And not only was the blog sickening (“But we don’t just open up to anyone – we’ve been burned before. Showed a little leg, made the first move – but they just weren’t that into us”), but according to a DSR minion (Russell Tyrone Jones), IT WAS BASICALLY LIFTED FROM AN EPISODE OF “KING OF QUEENS.”
It would be awful if your wife decided to humiliate you and bring into question your manhood with an article like this one, but to actually ENCOURAGE YOUR Twitter followers to read it?
I have seen dudes in Cuckold videos on YouJizz.com that displayed more manhood than Samuelsen.
DSR Co-Founder Gregg Schultz put it best when we wrote:
“If my wife wrote that I would go to the Supreme Court asking for a change in the elements of annulment. Divorce wouldn’t be good enough.”
I am being dead serious here when I write this. No hyperbole whatsoever. If my wife ever posts a blog that states the following ……
“We sat down next to a couple who seemed to be our same age. Ripe with a gin and tonic, we started talking. You know, the usual how-do-you-know-the-couple, to what-do-you-do-for-a-living questions. Then we progressed to talking about other weddings, fun trips, hilarious movies. It was like they answered our Pina Colada song singles ad. The other woman and I even took a trip to the bathroom together, the ultimate in female friend bonding.
At the end of the night, I impulsively (because I’m usually not that kind of girl) thrust my business card with personal number into the other woman’s hand.
“Call us!” I said brightly. ”We had so much fun with you guys! It would be great to hang out again!”
“That would be fun!” she gushed. With that they turned, and walked out.
For days, Jamie and I were hopeful that we would get a second date. I mean, we were funny! We were witty! We danced the Electric Slide together!”
…… and I RE-TWEET IT, please come to my house, go into my kitchen, find the butcher’s knife, and extricate my nuts from the rest of my body.
The Boston Red Sox Owners
For nearly two weeks, Tigers fans anxiously awaited word that the worst third base coach in the history of baseball would get the managerial gig in Boston replacing Terry Francona.
But alas, the longest current dick tease on earth (Benjy Bronk/Elisa Jordana notwithstanding) ended Tuesday night as Boston decided to hire Groucho Marx-impersonator Bobby Valentine instead of Gene Lamont.
We hear the decision wasn’t made until the Sox owners couldn’t work out a deal with Lamont’s agent over the Managerial Road Food Per Diem when John Henry calculated that it would cost more to feed his new manager than the entire seven year contract of first baseman Adrian Gonzalez.
In totally unrelated news, the odds of Victor Martinez suffering a micro fracture of his ankle in 2012 on a force play at the plate just dropped from 5 to 2 to even money.
Rich Rodriguez
It was a pretty good week for the former head football coach at the University of Michigan.
He watched HIS former Wolverine recruits defeat the Ohio State Buckeyes in Ann Arbor to finish a 10-2 regular season.
He was hired to coach the University of Arizona in a deal that will pay him almost ten million dollars.
And finally, after his introductory press conference at U of A , he learned that the Tucson Citizen doesn’t employ a vindictive, little nebbish columnist who potentially could go all Seymore Hersh on him over something as trivial as countable hours.
Twitter
Thanks to a Re-Tweet by Matt Dery, the DSR discovered this week that Lynn Henning is now a contributing member of the Twitter universe.
And if we can expect more Tweets like the following, I think we can all agree this is a wonderful development.
“Team the Tigers most need to fear in 2012: Kansas City. Everyone says “too young, too little pitching.” Baloney. They’ll be poison.”
“Still can’t figure out why Lloyd McClendon didn’t get a sniff at any manager’s jobs. Disgraceful. Puts the lie to MLB’s push for diversity.”
“After being tortured by A. Galarraga and Brad Penny for two years, Tigers were bound to offer a blank check to a fast-worker like Buehrle.”
“If they go for Martin Prado (the Braves want too much), he just adds to the Raburn, Kelly logjam. Kelly Johnson makes the most sense.”