By Jeff Moss
December 22, 2011
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
With approximately 57 days until Detroit Tigers pitchers and catchers (sometimes known around here as management family members) report, I thought it would be a good time to reiterate a statement that Mike Ilitch made back in September about his baseball team’s offseason plans:
“I want to be in a position to make one or two additions, and generally, they’re pretty big additions.” – Detroit Tigers owner Mike Ilitch in an interview with Bob Wojnowski of the Detroit News – September 30, 2011
I am just curious if Ilitch is under the impression that signing a seventh inning situational reliever (Octavio Dotel) qualifies as a “big addition” because other than that move the Tigers haven’t done bubkis this offseason.
At this point I am just wondering if during that interview with Wojo was:
A) Ilitch lying to himself
B) Ilitch lying to the fans
C) Both A & B
Because to date Dave Dombrowski has been completely comatose during the “Hot Stove League.” The guy is doing a dead-on Sunny von Bulow imitation. [Insert your own Dead Glenn Close Joke Here.]
Not only have the Tigers been shutout from any major transactions, they haven’t even been in the discussion.
For weeks now we have been told that the team would be extremely aggressive in pursuit of Cuban defector Yoennis Cespedes once his paperwork is all straightened out.
The organization’s media mouthpiece, Lynn Henning, has been all over Twitter telling fans that the team would spare no expense to add the outfielder as the crown jewel of their offseason. (Unless, according to him, they got outbid because the jackass columnist doesn’t understand the concept of sparing no expense.)
The wait for Cespedes to gain citizenship in some non-communist third world country in Central America has delayed the bidding process, but it now appears that the auction will commence sometime in early January.
This whole entire “Put All of Your Eggs in the Cespdes Basket” has become like the Tigers version of “Waiting for Godot” if Godot was a five-tool outfielder who could be the answer to Detroit’s perennial leadoff problem.
In the last few days I have become dubious regarding the Tigers intentions with Cespedes. First, former Tigers beat writer and current CBS reporter, Danny Knobler, wrote that while the Tigers are interested in adding the Cuban, they most likely won’t be able to afford him.
Then on Thursday it was heavily reported that the New York Yankees were going to go all-in on this kid. And since the Yankees have been awfully quiet this winter you can imagine the financial recourses they have at their disposal if they really want Cespedes.
Not to mention the Marlins are also reported to be very interested in adding Cespedes after Albert Pujols and C.J. Wilson decided that Miami money wasn’t good enough for them.
I am not sure if you are aware of this, but there is a very large CUBAN population in Miami. I am pretty sure if she ran for mayor of the city, Gloria Estefan would win in a landslide with the members of the Sound Machine filling out the City Council seats.
Now, just imagine for a moment that the city of Dearborn had a Major League baseball team and were desirous of selling tickets for their new stadium at Ford Road and the Southfield Expressway.
And right before that grand opening of Fatoosh Salad Field, a MUSLIM superstar became an unrestricted free-agent.
THAT is what the Tigers are dealing with in bidding for Cespedes. The New York FREAKING Yankees and a team trying to give away their cash to anyone who will take it AND who just by the way happen to play in a city with almost as many Cubans as reside in Havana.
While we keep waiting for the Tigers to outbid the rest of MLB and sign Cespedes, Vladimir and Estragon are rolling a blunt and laughing at us for being so fucking delusional.
Look, you don’t have to be Columbo to figure out what is going on here.
In the euphoria of the Tigers playoff run, Ilitch blurted out that he wanted to add “two big bats” to the lineup.
When he realized the team’s finances couldn’t coexist with this desire, he had his employees leak a story to Michael Rosenberg that the team wasn’t going to be a player in free-agency.
Being the upstanding douche bag that he is, the nebbish wrote a lengthy column rebutting the comments the TEAM’S OWNER had made just weeks before.
And on repeated occasions since, “Come Light the Menorah”, Tweeted out to his followers that the Tigers weren’t going to add payroll this winter.
Which would be fine, if Rosenberg explained to his readers that he was told all of this by a Detroit management source that wanted to remain anonymous. But the Tigers brass don’t want this to look like it is coming directly from them so Dreidel Boy just continues this ruse that all of this was just an educated guess on his part.
(Yep, and the Curtis Granderson character assassination that Lynn Henning perpetrated a couple of years ago didn’t come from 2100 Woodward Avenue either, right? Yeah, pull this leg, it plays “Jingle Bells.”)
If Ilitch REALLY wanted to make a splash this offseason like he promised then he could have EASILY signed Aramis Ramirez to play third base as the former Cub signed a very reasonable deal to play in Milwaukee.
But at some point between the end of September and the beginning of November, Ilitch realized his eyes were bigger than his stomach and Operation Bar Mitzvah was sent into action.
So while the Rangers solidify their rotation with the addition of Yu Darvish and the Angels prepare for battle with Wilson and Pujols, the Tigers seem completely content to stand pat.
Which probably will be fine during the regular season when they beat up on the Little Sisters of the Poor in their own division, but probably not so much when they get to the playoffs again.
Hell, if I just wanted to win the AL Central division every season and be cannon fodder to franchises that are actually SERIOUS about winning a World Series, I could have become a damn Minnesota Twins fan years ago.