And now the REST of the Lions Police Report Against Me

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By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
February 11, 2014

When we last left the story of the Detroit Lions turning me in to the Allen Park cops over a parody Tweet, I was still actually waiting for the letter from Lions security detailing the threat I posed to this billion-dollar organization.

The original police report mentioned a “letter (Chrissie) Wyrot typed out” that was in the Allen Park police file, but it was not included in the documentation provided to me when I obtained the Incident Report. Wyrot, of course, manages the team’s propaganda website.

This entire episode began over this Twitter exchange:

In case you are new to this story, here is the original Incident Report ….Police Report Page 2Police Report Page 1

Anyway, I had to file a “Freedom of Information Act” request in order to procure the letter the Lions wrote when filing this frivolous criminal report against me; I picked it up on Monday.

Here is that letter from the Lions. You can tell it came from the Lions because it even includes their snazzy “Detroit Lions” font at the top.

Lions Security

Let’s put this document under a microscope for a moment and evaluate its incredible awesomeness.

The report again mentions “On-line Twitter threats” occurring on January 16th. The report was signed by security stooge Elton Moore on January 27th, which was the same day the Lions called the Allen Park Police out to their practice facility.

This threat was so disconcerting that the team waited 11 days to contact the cops and then diluted the strength of the city’s already hampered police force with this abject nonsense. I remind you that Allen Park is broke and is operating under the auspices of an Emergency Manager.

The one question I had before today’s events was whether these particular Lions lackeys knew who I was. Were they just reading the “casket” Tweet in a vacuum and mistakenly perceived it to be a death threat against a nearly 89-year-old bag of bones and his PR czar?

Well, after reading this letter from “Detroit Lions Security,” it’s clear that they knew EXACTLY who I was. They mentioned the DSR, my attempt to get media credentials for the Jim Caldwell press conference and my distaste for team management.

Can you fucking believe that these people would attempt to infringe on my rights protected under the First Amendment by calling the cops for a clear JOKE about PhotoShop?!!?!!?!?

The Lions knew enough about the DSR to decide that it’s a
“non-traditional outlet” but not enough to know that I am not a serial killer? Are they fucking kidding me?

I guess Chrissie Wywrot and Elton Moore never saw the Milos Forman movie “The People vs. Larry Flynt” or read about the Supreme Court’s unanimous decision regarding satire of public figures.

Or how about this quote from their complaint:

Mr. Moss is currently working for an on-line website called DetroitSportsRag.com and has been very disruptive verbally against recent Detroit Lions football decisions.

Okay. Am I on “Candid Camera?” Where’s Ashton Kutcher? This is absolutely insane. I have been “disruptive verbally” against recent Detroit Lions football decisions so YOU TURN ME INTO THE POLICE?!?!?!?!

Also, VERBALLY? They are bitching to the 5-0 that I sent some hurtful TWEETS and they use the adverb “verbally”.

Umm, hey ya dolts who have won one playoff game in 56 years and are the only non-expansion team to never make the Super Bowl, here is the definition of VERBALLY:

expressed in spoken words; oral rather than written:

SPOKEN WORDS rather than written. Get it?

Of course, in the same report, the Lions claimed that I “Twitted” to Chrissie Wywrot. Hahahhahahhaha. TWITTED. Still crying.

And then Roary the Mall Cop ended his incident report with the following statement:

“Mr. Tim Twentyman is a staff writer for the Detroit Lions and has been the target of offensive remarks from Mr. Moss because of his affiliation with the Detroit Lions.”

And that is what this is ALL ABOUT. I hurt the big, bad Detroit Lions’ feelings and instead of doing what the rest of the world does on Twitter when this occurs — blocking the offending party — they got the police involved. And not just the regular cops, but a sergeant and a detective from the Investigative Services Bureau.

Over a Tweet. Seriously, the next time someone upsets you with a social media blast, call 911 and see if they send a cruiser over to take your statement before assigning the case to a detective. Or if they just laugh at your ignorant ass.

If the Lions thought they were going to scare me with these heavy-handed tactics, they are sadly mistaken. If anything, they have just emboldened me to be more crass, crude and over-the-top.

Especially that twat Chrissie Wywrot. Or is the proper terminology “twit”? Help me out here, Security Director Moore.

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Lastly, I did find it quite ironic that the Lions internal incident number on the report was 14-02.

A record that this bumbling group of imbeciles will never enjoy on the field.