By Two People Who Don’t Want to Be Mentioned, Justin Spiro, Josh Kreger and Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
February 3, 2014
Today is the day you have all been waiting for. The beginning of the DSR Worst Detroit Sports Media Personality tournament.
There is a guarantee of a new champion being crowned as the last time we devoted this many hours mocking the Detroit Media through social media, the winner loser was Michael Rosenberg. And since the nebbish is now working at Sports Illustrated, he is no longer eligible for this competition.
Before we get to a preview of the combatants, a few comments on the bracket and seeding …
- As you will see, John Niyo of the Detroit News is the #16 seed in each bracket. The #16 seed is an honor in this tourney and we felt Niyo was so much better than anyone else in the Detroit Media that he should get every #16 slot.
- Terry Foster is a slight favorite entering this tourney, but he is in by far the toughest bracket. The committee did Foster bashers no favors by placing him in the same region as Jamie Samuelsen, Doug Karsch, Tim Twentyman, Chris McCosky and Drew Sharp. The last time we ran this tournament, Foster accused the DSR of rigging it for him to win. Largely on the basis of Moss’s alleged racism. There should be no such accusation this time. (Seriously, he did make that accusation. No joke.)
- All the regions are named after former awful members of the Detroit sports media. WDFN’s Eric Pate, Copernicus from the “Meat Shop,” former Tigers beat writer Danny Knobler and ESPN1090 owner Sima Birach, Jr. Well, Birach might actually still be active, but we never pass on taking a shot at that lunatic.
- You will be able to cast your vote on Twitter or the DSR’s two Facebook pages. We would recommend when voting you “mention” the participant in an effort to publicly shame the person.
Because there were so many eligible participants in the tournament, we had to stage several four-way play-in match-ups. The results of those Fatal 4-Ways are listed below:
Fatal 4-Way Play-In Game A
Michael Rothstein, ESPN.com Lions Beat Writer
Greg Kelser, Fox Sports Detroit Pistons Color Announcer
Mickey York, Fox Sports Detroit Anchor (WINNER)
Tom Leyden, WXYZ-7 Anchor
Fatal 4-Way Play-In Game B
Perry Farrell, Detroit Free Press, Sports Writer
Jerry Green, Detroit News, Old Guy (Winner)
Justin Rogers, MLive.com Lions Writer
Rob Parker, WDIV-4 Something or Other
Fatal 4-Way Play-In Game C
Denny Kapp, Detroit Sports 105.1 Reporter
Bill Shea, Crain’s Detroit Thief
Tony Ortiz, 97.1 Reporter (WINNER)
James Schmehl, MLive.com Tigers Reporter
Fatal 4-Way Play-In Game D
Larry Lage, Associated Press
Dan Leach, 97.1 Slapdick (WINNER)
Mickey Redmond, Fox Sports Detroit Red Wings Color Announcer
Justin White, Fox Sports Detroit Anchor
Fatal 4-Way Play-In Game E
Matt Charboneau, Detroit News MSU Beat Writer
Brad Galli, WXYZ-7 Child Labor Law Offender (WINNER)
Noah Trister, Associated Press
Paul Woods, Red Wings Radio Color Announcer
Fatal 4-Way Play-In Game F
Shawn Windsor, Detroit Free Press Sports Writer (WINNER)
Dan Dickerson, Tigers Radio Play-by-Play Announcer
Josh Katzenstein, Detroit News Sports Writer
Melissa Knowles, Fox Sports Detroit Reporter
Fatal 4-Way Play-In Game G
Ashley Dunkak, 97.1 Website Reporter (WINNER)
Rod Beard, Detroit News Michigan Basketball Beat Writer
George Blaha, Fox Sports Detroit Pistons Play-by-Play Announcer
Bill Roose, Detroit Red Wings Website Propagandist
Fatal 4-Way Play-In Game H
Jim Brandstatter, Michigan and Lions Radio Color Announcer
Mark Champion, Pistons Radio Play-by-Play Announcer
Dave Hogg, Fox Sports Detroit Web Reporter
Mateen Cleaves, Fox Sports Detroit Commentator (WINNER)
Fatal 4-Way Play-In Game I
Dana Wakiji, Fox Sports Detroit Web Reporter (WINNER)
Keith Langlois, Pistons Website Propagandist
Chris Osgood, Fox Sports Detroit Commentator
Rico Beard, Detroit Sports 105.1 Host
Fatal 4-Way Play-In Game J
Art Regner, Fox Sports Detroit Web Reporter
Sean Baligian, Fox-2 Contributor
Jamie Edmonds, WDIV-4 Anchor
Craig Monroe, Belt Enthusiast, Fox Sports Detroit Commentator (WINNER)
Fatal 4-Way Play-In Game K
Ken Kal, Red Wings Radio Play-by-Play Announcer
Trevor Thompson, Fox Sports Detroit Anchor (WINNER)
Darren Eliot, Fox Sports Detroit Commentator
Ken Daniels, Fox Sports Detroit Red Wings Play-by-Play Announcer
Fatal 4-Way Play-In Game L
Shannon Hogan, Fox Sports Detroit Anchor
David Solano, WXYZ-7 Anchor
Rick Mahorn, Detroit Pistons Radio Color Announcer (WINNER)
Woody Woodriffe, Fox-2 Anchor
It would appear that we forgot to include Bernie Smilovitz in this tournament. Wait, is Bernie still working for WDIV or did he leave to become a Rabbi at Temple Beth-El? Or was that Chuck Gaidica? Oh, who cares?
Anyway, without any further pomp and circumstance, here is a primer for all of the competitors in the DSR’s Worst Detroit Sports Media Personality Tournament.
Sima Birach, Jr. Memorial Region
1] Vincent Goodwill, Detroit News
Pros: #WannaGetBlocked, #HowAboutBlocked, Quality Writing Skills.
Cons: Hates Trey Burke, total shill, train-wreck of a Twitter feed, Joe Dumars’ personal lapdog, quickly dismissive, unwilling to listen to reason.
2] Scott Anderson, WXYT-FM
Pros: Are you serious? Are you a restaurant owner in the Plymouth/Canton area?
Cons: HUGE pig, HUGE Homer, HUGE Idiot. Disdain for anything math related, obsessed with sex but has never experienced the sensation.
3] Rod Allen, Fox Sports Detroit
Pros: Has never fallen asleep during a broadcast.
Cons: Homer, shill, moron. His constant talk of his time with the “big club” is mind numbingly horrific, doesn’t understand math, abhors sabermetrics
4] Ryan Ermanni, Detroit Sports 105.1, Fox-2
Pros: Bookies seem to love him.
Cons: Racist and homophobic shitbag, awful radio host, terrible sports takes, Republican, hack of a golfer, huge ego for no reason, lacks any journalistic integrity whatsoever, how much more time do you have?
5] Bill McAllister and Sara Fouracre, WXYT-FM
Pros: Zero. Zip. Nada.
Cons: Lack of any relevant sports knowledge, dumb, annoying, whiny, but if you need someone to ask what the next Lions coach is listening to on the way to Ford Field this is your pair, Sara tries to play the part of the hot “chick” in the booth, but looks like a cute Roseanne Barr.
6] Mark Fellhauer, Detroit Sports 105.1
Pros: He’s not Mike Clark.
Cons: Drew Lane’s bitch, total “Yes Man,” very few if any original thoughts, zero in-depth sports knowledge, his love affair with on-air drops is sickening, shouldn’t be on a sports show, not an evolved human being, homophobic comments and drops.
7] Jennifer Hammond, Fox-2
Pros: She’s not a Fox sideline report any longer.
Cons: A shill without a reason to be, basically wished death on Moss at a charity event.
8] Mike Valenti, WXYT-FM
Pros: Sports nut, ability to at least consider and comprehend advance metrics, good when paired with other hosts not named Terry Foster.
Cons: Blowhard, total douche bag behavior, obtains ratings via the lowest common denominator, way too loyal to Foster, pocket squares, Flaming Tomahawks, Gucci shoes, humblebrags about his newfound wealth on a near daily basis.
9] Tony Ortiz, WXYT-FM
Pros: Solid update guy, knowledgeable about the teams and situations, DSR friendly.
Cons: Has very little impact, not much reach as a sideline reporter and update guy, extremely slapdickish when it comes to the Detroit Lions.
10] Tom Gage, Detroit News
Pros: Was actually critical of Tom Brookens last season.
Cons: Tigers apologist, Jim Leyland apologist, Dave Dombrowski apologist, should have retired for new blood years ago, avoids advanced metrics like the plague.
11] Ashley Dunkak, CBS Radio Internet
Pros: Nobody knows who she is
Cons: Horrific blogger, uses arguments that are very often rooted in revisionist history, discusses sports items that she has very little comprehension of, actually wrote that Grant Hill was trying to help the Pistons when he left for Orlando, has a very stupid last name.
12] Bob Wojonowski, WXYT-FM and Detroit News
Pros: Solid columnist, has the ability to write intelligently about multiple sports, was good on the radio when paired with Mike Valenti last year.
Cons: Lazy, unwilling to rock the boat, an abortion of a Twitter feed, terrible old bit humor, platonically obsessed with the #13 seed in the Danny Knobler Memorial Region, been mailing it in since 2002.
13] Ansar Khan, MLive.com
Pros: Good source of Red Wings information, very professional beat writer, presents facts with little bias.
Cons: If you hate Twitter play-by-play of a game you stay away from his feed, Mike Babcock and Ken Holland apologist, related to the villain in the second Star Trek movie, Ansar Khan Lives With His Dad and Mom.
14] Trevor Thompson, Fox Sports Detroit
Pros: Professional on the air, enjoys watching girls eat other girls’ asses out.
Cons: Team shill for FSD’s “broadcast partners,” horrible interview skills.
15] Kyle Meinke, MLive.com
Pros: Doesn’t have a blood vendetta against the DSR, presents both positive and negative information about the Lions seemingly without bias, not afraid to criticize the team he covers, likes the Django Unchained soundtrack.
Cons: Kind of a hipster doofus. The doofus part is debatable, the hipster part is not, too concerned with stadium music, doesn’t have cable TV and that is really strange, last name looks like an abbreviation for Mein Kampf.
16] John Niyo, Detroit News
Pros: Talented writer, will write a negative hit piece and not shy away from it, gets almost everything right, helps negate Foster’s allegations of DSR racism.
Cons: Has yet to find a cure for cancer.
Danny Knobler Memorial Region
1] Drew Lane, Detroit Sports 105.1
Pros: Hates Kwame Kilpatrick with a passion, didn’t bring Mike Clark with him to 105.1., doesn’t talk about cigars, scotch or pocket squares on his show.
Cons: Doesn’t talk about sports on his show, lacks basic, fundamental knowledge of any of the Detroit sports teams, revels in “bro” culture and thinks that homophobia jokes, “ghetto” impersonations and calling alleged rape victims “whore” are hilarious, is content with recycling 20-year-old bits and relying on interviews with deadbeat losers like Darren McCarty and bland bores like Herman Moore to eat up airtime, disappointed everyone who was hoping for a decent alternative to Valenti and Foster’s terrible radio program, didn’t retire.
2] Jeff Seidel, Detroit Free Press
Pros: An award winning columnist.
Cons: The award was the 2013 Raggie for Worst Detroit Sports Columnist. Prefers writing hacky jokes to crafting thoughtful and intriguing opinions. Possesses zero sports knowledge. Disappointed everyone who was hoping for a decent replacement for the Catskills-comedian-wannabe, Michael “Shecky” Rosenberg
3] Pat Caputo, Oakland Press and WXYT-FM
Pros: Enjoys Mexican food and extra guacamole
Cons: Mouth-breather. Wrote possibly the worst article on sabermetrics of all time. Bases his entire radio show on topics chosen by his callers. Blasted the Doug Fister trade to Detroit based on Fister’s W/L record. (Never forget)
4] Jim Price, Detroit Tigers Radio Network
Pros: Has become more critical when Tigers play poorly or make stupid mistakes. Raises money for autism.
Cons: Tends to repeat himself. Says the same thing over and over. Uses catchphrases like the “art of pitching.” way too much. He’s repetitive. Says things like “Nice Area” over and over. Repetitive. Repeats himself. Eats while he is on the air. Eats while he is on the air. Have we mentioned the “art of pitching?” The DSR is a nice area.
5] Frank Beckmann, Michigan Radio Network
Pros: Had good chemistry with his broadcast partner, Jim Brandstatter.
Cons: Right Wing Nut Job. Believes African-Americans should embrace their fried chicken stereotype.
6] Jason Beck, Tigers.com
Pros: Valuable resource for anyone who likes hearing about the different baseball jerseys being worn by fans attending Tigers games.
Cons: Bought and paid for by the Tigers. Offers no real insight on anything. Regularly regurgitates press releases and facts provided by the Tigers’ research department. Refuses to be critical of anything Tigers related which is in his job description.
7] Eric Thomas, WXYT-FM
Pros: Show is on so late at night, no one has to listen to him. Has bitched in the past that 97.1 doesn’t pay for his health care which is pretty entertaining.
Cons: The sports takes on Twitter — nobody actually listens to his show — are atrocious.
8] Jeff Riger, WXYT-FM
Pros: Willing to risk being pelted by bits of chicken salad to ask Leyland questions. Has enough self-awareness to know that many people think he’s an idiot.
Cons: Has a face for radio and a voice for telegraphy. Really a dumb guy. Still getting demerits for writing Tomas Holmstrom was a better Red Wing than Sergei Fedorov.
9] Dan Leach, WXYT-FM
Pros: Good source of unintentional comedy, Tout Tweets promoting his show at 4am is an awesome advertisement for cocaine. Is obsessed with complimenting the Jewish people for some reason.
Cons: Wal-Mart Wolverine. Paints his face when he attends football games. Has not mastered full control of his bladder. Not smart. Seriously, he is one of the dumbest human beings on the planet. Is obsessed with complimenting the Jewish people for some reason.
10] Matt Dery, Detroit Sports 105.1
Pros: Howard Stern fan. Hosts best sports talk show in Detroit by default.
Cons: A complete and total rat. Two-faced. Liar. Fake as fuck. Used to kiss Valenti’s ass. Trying too hard to develop his own “Wack Pack” of callers, Duplicitous. Acts like he is a die-hard Detroit sports fan on his new show (disingenuous for a diehard Cleveland fan.)
11] Mateen Cleaves, Fox Sports Detroit
Pros: He was on the last Michigan State team to win a National Championship, could be making really good points on the air but we are not sure.
Cons: What the hell is he saying?!?!?!?
12] Dan Miller, Fox-2 and Detroit Lions Network
Pros: Solid play-by-play man for the Lions and good at his anchoring duties.
Cons: Constantly invites total hacks like Drew Sharp, Terry Foster and Pat Caputo to be guests on his Sunday sports show. His insipid “Game Day” tweets before Lions games. Occasionally dips into severe homerism. Employs Ryan Ermanni. Intelligent enough to be part of the solution and yet CHOOSES to be part of the problem.
13] Angelique Chengelis, Detroit News
Pros: Has extensive knowledge of the UofM football program. Has a decent bullshit detector. Extremely nice lady.
Cons: Encourages Wojo to tweet lame jokes instead of useful analysis by “flirting” with him on Twitter. Ignored the Brendan Gibbons story and let college kids from the Michigan Daily beat her to the scoop.
14] Rick Mahorn, Detroit Pistons Radio Network
Pros: Was a member of the Bad Boys Era Pistons, gives a lot of shout-outs to Albert Dale on the air.
Cons: Awful broadcaster, extremely rude to fans of all ages, one of the weakest basketball “minds” to land a job analyzing the sport.
15] Lindsey Hayes, Fox Sports Detroit
Pros: Moss is in love with her. Is from Wissssss …. Kahhhhhn … Sinnnnnn like Dave Foley’s character on Newsradio.
Cons: Shaky when it comes to hosting post-game shows, her interview skills need improving, still hasn’t shared a bed with Moss and his wife.
16] John Niyo, Detroit News
Pros: Talented writer, will write a negative hit piece and not shy away from it, gets almost everything right, helps negate Foster’s allegations of DSR racism.
Cons: Did nothing to prevent 9/11.
Eric Pate Memorial Regional
1] Terry Foster, Detroit News and WXYT-FM
Pros: None
Cons: His absolute lack of backbone/rudimentary sports knowledge has allowed Mike Valenti to go from an admittedly promising talent to the lazy Michigan troll he is today. Zero charisma, writing skills, business acumen or ability to host a show on his own. Total Moron.
2] Tim Twentyman, DetroitLions.com
Pros: Somehow finds the mental strength every day to not put a bullet in his own skull for being such a fucking shitstain on society. That’s gotta count for something, right?
Cons: Twentyman is a cancer, and that’s an insult to cancer. His shilling is so consistently over the top, it was something of a minor DSR event when he suggested Jim Schwartz might have worn out his welcome in the Motor City. But then of course once the Lions brought in Jim “Fish Eyes” Caldwell the shilling began all over again. Takes marching orders from the Lions. Propagandist.
3] Drew Sharp, Detroit Free Press
Pros: Is mostly ignored by everyone around him, including his peers. Largely irrelevant. Bashes the Lions.
Cons: Huge piece of shit. Just an absolutely miserable human being with zero redeeming qualities who writes nothing other than thinly veiled troll jobs. The Dan Shaughnessy of Detroit. Is a professional troll and probably would LOVE to win this tournament.
4] Chris McCosky, Detroit News
Pros: Finally got rid of that stupid fucking mustache. We actually liked his column where he discussed his own depression, which would be fine if it wasn’t the only good thing he’s ever written, and also two years old.
Cons: How the hell is this man only a FOUR SEED????? Seriously, this region is more stacked than Pamela Anderson. LOL! Big tits, am I right you guys? Anyway, Dickbrains McGoo is a total idiot whose Jim Schwartz farewell column was full of some of the most unbelievably stupid shit we’ve ever read.
5] Jamie Samuelsen, WXYT-FM and Detroit Free Press
Pros: I have had one interaction with him, in which he was very nice and totally accommodating. Seems like a legitimately nice guy, and is reasonably intelligent. Wrote this quality column. (This was written by the DSR contributor who can’t name himself.)
Cons: The above link is pretty much the only thing this dough-faced overgrown baby has ever written that contains the slightest semblance of a strong take. Completely vanilla in pretty much everything, for example his most recent Free Press column is about how he has no problem with Pavel Datsyuk and Hank Zetterberg playing in the Olympics. Wow, controversial topic there Stephen A. Smith. Almost completely turned me off of to sports broadcasting my sophomore year of high school when he came to talk to my class while he was still working at 94.7 because of how fucking terrible his job and life sounded. Honestly, the guy seemed like he was about to jump off a cliff. Too bad he didn’t. (This was written by one of the DSR contributor who can’t name himself.)
6] Doug Karsch, WXYT-FM
Pros: Family man. Not Scott Anderson.
Cons: Cohosts one of the worst sports radio programs in the country relative to ratings. Actively engages in fantasy scenarios on his show that are so ridiculous even the most marginally intelligent fan would dismiss them in an instant. Loves to tease more than a stripper doing her first VIP lap dance. Is a disingenuous disloyal loser who loves Michigan despite having attended Michigan State.
7] Mark Snyder, Detroit Free Press
Pros: Totally fine if you like your Michigan football and basketball coverage to have the same flavor as your average cup of tapioca.
Cons: See above. Coconspirator with Michael Rosenberg on the RichRod hit piece and the statute of limitations has yet to expire.
8] Mike O’Hara , DetroitLions.com
Pros: Does not to our knowledge have any involvement in the sexual trafficking of minors.
Cons: Basically an older, slightly less terrible version of fellow fake journalist Tim Twentyman. Like Twentyman he is essentially a PR rep masquerading as a journalist, AKA total and complete scum.
9] Mickey York, Fox Sports Detroit
Pros: Potentially a Rich Man’s Rob Otto.
Cons: Potentially a Poor Man’s Rob Otto. Another shill in the machine.
10] Mario Impemba, Detroit Tigers Radio Network
Pros: While the DSR often rips the Tigers broadcast team — with an emphasis on Rod Allen more so than Impemba — Mario is widely considered to be one of the ten best local announcers in most baseball circles. Professional broadcaster.
Cons: Although not as bad as Allen, Impemba commonly shills for the Tigers, refusing to rip them even when they perform embarrassingly. Takes marching orders from broadcast partner.
11] Brad Galli, WXYZ-7
Pros: Still young, so he has his whole life ahead of him in which people can make fun of the fact that he is 12.
Cons: Seems fake as shit and his whole rah-rah boy scout routine gets really annoying, really fast. Went to Brother Rice so he is probably a huge douchebag hiding behind a mask of feigned niceness. Did you know he was a big fan of retiring Brother Rice football coach Al Fracassa? Because he NEVER mentions it.
12] Helene St. James, Detroit Free Press
Pros: Is usually the first to break Red Wings related news.
Cons: Um, other than report what Ken Holland tells her, what the fuck does she do? Seriously, have you ever read a Helene St. James column that couldn’t have been explained entirely in statistics? She’s basically the boring middleman (middlewoman?) between HockeyReference.com and old people who still read the newspaper because they don’t know what the Internet is. Also she describes herself as a “Francophile” in her Twitter profile, which should be a criminal offense punishable by death. Never rips Holland or Babcock. Never questions any of their moves. Happy to go along for the ride. Loves scarfs. And she is a 12 seed?
13] Joe Rexrode, Detroit Free Press
Pros: Professional beat writer. Quality Spartans information on Twitter.
Cons: Sometimes buys into what MSU feeds him a bit too much. Knows why Max Bullough was suspended by State and refuses to spill the beans.
14] Dana Wakiji, Fox Sports Detroit Internet
Pros: Great resource during Red Wings games if you want to know game updates and have access to Twitter but not ESPN.
Cons: If you have access to Twitter, you have access to ESPN. Actually gets PAID to Tweet general box score information.
15] David Mayo, MLive.com
Pros: Loves weed.
Cons: Gave the Pistons a pass on not taking Trey Burke. Should be regularly calling for Dumars’ head.
16] John Niyo, Detroit News
Pros: Talented writer, will write a negative hit piece and not shy away from it, gets almost everything right, helps negate Foster’s allegations of DSR racism.
Cons: Has never won the Mega Millions Jackpot.
Copernicus Regional
1] Lynn Henning, Detroit News
Pros: Had a really good Hall of Fame ballot. A great liberal thinker.
Cons: Is madly in love with Dave Dombrowksi. Shills for the Tigers consistently. Has some of the worst Tigers takes around. Constantly props up the Tigers farm system even though it sucks.
2] John Lowe, Detroit Free Press
Pros: NONE.
Cons: Hates sabermetrics. Is a total apologist for the Tigers to the point that if you ever read one of his chats you’d probably kill yourself. Believes that Don Kelly is a good hitter.
3] Mitch Albom, Detroit Free Press
Pros: Does charity work in Haiti.
Cons: Hasn’t made his charity work in Haiti and death obsessed novella writing full-time gigs. Knows nothing about sports at this point. Might be a plagiarist. Another math challenged dolt. His non-sports columns are all old man yelling at his kids to get off his lawn variety. Condescending. And the Hobbit movies haven’t been very good.
4] Vince Ellis, Detroit Free Press
Pros: Relatively short name, easy to type when discussing in articles.
Cons: A much pudgier version of Vincent Goodshill so check out Goodwill’s cons.
5] Matthew Mowery, Oakland Press
Pros: Boasts an impressive collection of Jock Jam albums. Has seen the movie “Bring it On” 53 times.
Cons: Biggest cheerleader for a professional sports team in town. NEVER says anything negative about the Tigers. It would be more annoying if anybody knew who he was.
6] Chris Iott, MLive.com
Pros: He likes the Replacements.
Cons: He constantly is telling us that he likes the Replacements. Another Tigers shill who refuses to critique the team.
7] Michael Stone, WXYT-FM
Pros: He isn’t Bill or Sara.
Cons: His Twitter feed resembles a 90-year old man. Has a show on a sports station where sports aren’t discussed.
8] Dennis Fithian, WXYT-FM
Pros: We never should have let Moss write the “Pros” for any of these people.
Cons: Horrible Twitter avatar where the moron is wearing a lobster bib. Not only is he awful in the radio, he lets Pat Caputo bully him like that fat, weird kid in “Bad Santa” was abused. We’re still waiting for Fithian to kick Caputo in the balls though.
9] Jerry Green, Detroit News
Pros: Isn’t long for this world.
Cons: This guy’s takes are horrible and he should have retired 30 years ago. Actually, the News did get rid of him and he filed a wrongful termination suit over age discrimination. This occurred like in the EARLY 90s or something. HE IS STILL WRITING. Hasn’t fully grasped advanced metrics. Or bladder control.
10] Matt Shepard, WDFN-FM
Pros: On his radio program that nobody listens to, he mainly talks about sports. Allegedly.
Cons: His takes are terrible. He is a Jesus freak and believes prayer should be allowed at school functions. He has a Napoleon Complex. He is arrogant for absolutely NO reason. Fuck this asshole. You think this is a tough tournament? This loser is a #10 seed!!!!
11] Shawn Windsor, Detroit Free Press
Pros: He wrote a positive Trey Burke article recently after Vince Ellis apparently refused to do so.
Cons: He is almost always on the wrong side of every issue. Shills for the local teams. Huge Jim Leyland apologist. HUGE.
12] Ted Kulfan, Detroit News
Pros: Fairly solid Red Wings beat writer.
Cons: Another Wings correspondent who NEVER criticizes Babcock or Holland. His Twitter account plays like Helene St. James and Ansar Khan’s on a five-minute delay.
13] Dave Birkett, Detroit Free Press
Pros: Probably the best beat writer in Detroit except one fatal flaw.
Cons: That fatal flaw being his article commemorating the 50th year anniversary of William Clay Ford, Sr. purchasing the Lions exclusively which was a tragedy of epic proportions. Why did you write that crap, Dave? Still waiting for a fucking Ansar Khan.
14] Craig Monroe, Fox Sports Detroit
Pros: He dresses very nicely on the Fox Sports Detroit Tigers pre game show.
Cons: Who knows if he actually pays for those duds? He is a terrible commentator. Not very eloquent. A team apologist. A real dummy. Like, you couldn’t give Dan Petry this job until he replaces Jim Price on the radio? Nope.
15] Tony Paul, Detroit News
Pros: Appears on DSR Podcasts. One of the few in the media who will actually call out the Tigers for their dumb transactions. Was pretty much the only scribe to criticize Jim Leyland during that relic’s tenure.
Cons: Graded Prince Fielder way too high on his All-Star break grades. Is probably jeopardizing his career by being friendly with Moss which is not a sign of intelligence.
16] John Niyo, Detroit News
Pros: Talented writer, will write a negative hit piece and not shy away from it, gets almost everything right, helps negate Foster’s allegations of DSR racism.
Cons: Has never donated money to the DSR.