By Jeff Moss
January 26, 2012
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
Even though this website prides itself on covering the Detroit sports media scene, I wasn’t planning on listening to the debut of new WDFN Program Director/Afternoon Drive host, Eric Chase, on Wednesday.
First off, I had a busy day at work and couldn’t listen to the entire “Howard Stern Show” so I was getting ready to catch up on the latest “Ass Napkin” Ed news as opposed to tuning into 1130’s latest horrid hire.
Secondly, I really had no interest in listening to a Top 40 disc jockey pontificating on the Prince Fielder signing. If I wanted an in-depth breakdown on the possibility of Miguel Cabrera transitioning to third base, I tend to go national…with someone like Keith Law, Ryan Seacrest or Rick Dees.
But then I was informed by a Twitter follower of mine that outgoing DFN PD Mike McCoy was asking “Dance all Night” Chase some of the questions in my infamous email to McCoy from a couple weeks ago.
(You can read check out that email exchange by clicking here: http://bit.ly/wEoLIN)
So like a gawker driving up to a six-car accident on I-275, I had to tune in and rubberneck. And while I wasn’t expecting much, even I couldn’t fathom the utter abomination I was about to hear.
I only caught the end of the questioning by McCoy, a man whose own management of the channel has left the once popular station in shambles. Of course, McCoy was only a custodian for the gig after Rona Danziger and Til Levesque assassinated the former #1 sports talker in Detroit with their complete inaction.
Upon a return from a commercial break, Art Regner and Chase started discussing various sports topics. In the half-hour in which I listened to the show, I heard Chase make the following comments:
1) He asked Regner if former Montreal Canadiens goalie, Ken Dryden, was “any good.” Umm, okay. I GUESS if you weren’t a huge hockey fan, you might not know that Dryden is in the HOCKEY HALL OF FAME.
Call me bi-polar, but if I was hiring a new PROGRAM DIRECTOR at a SPORTS station, I’d probably want him to know if a five-time Vezina Trophy winner and six-time Stanley Cup champ was, like …. “ANY GOOD.”
(Mehmet to Eric Chase: The Vezina Trophy is awarded to the best goaltender in the NHL every season. The goalie is the guy who stands in front of the net with a bunch of extra equipment on his body and he also wears a mask.)
Alright, I still wasn’t going to hit the panic button over Chase’s lack of knowledge regarding 1970s goalies. I just made a mental note to myself to never bring up Bernie Parent’s name if I ever met Chase at a dinner party.
2) Now, I didn’t listen to the first couple hours of the show so I am not exactly sure why they were talking hockey instead of the Fielder signing, but the NHL discussion continued.
It was at this point that Chase told Regner that even though, “almost half of my radio career has been spent in Michigan, so this is kind of like going back home”, he had NEVER BEEN TO JOE LOUIS ARENA to watch the Red Wings.
And not only that, he didn’t have any intention to watch the Wings NOW.
Ladies and Gentleman, your new on-air host and Program Director at WDFN. A guy who claims he has no interest in watching one of the city’s four professional sports franchises.
Although, I am guessing Chase will make it out to the JLA if “C & C Music Factory” ever reunite for a tour.
3) At this point I didn’t think things could get any worse for the guy’s unveiling. I mean, Joe Buck (of “Joe Buck Live” fame) was on hold to offer his condolences for such an epically bad debut performance.
Then the hockey talk continued with the conversation centering on how Steve Yzerman got the GM gig in Tampa with the Lightning.
I shit you not, Chase asked Regner if Yzerman got the job because of “Bill Davidson.”
First of all, Palace Entertainment SOLD the team almost FOUR FREAKING YEARS AGO!!!!
Not only that, the current ownership of the team isn’t even the SAME group of buffoons that Mr. D sold the franchise to back in 2008.
Furthermore, when Yzerman was hired by the Lightning, Davidson had been DEAD for over a YEAR!!!
So unless Tampa owner, Jeff Vinik, performed a séance, I don’t think the late Jewish philanthropist had anything to do with Stevie Y. getting his executive job with the Lightning.
(Mehmet to Eric Chase: “Stevie Y.” is the affectionate name that Red Wings fans gave Yzerman years ago. Probably around the same time you were snapping your fingers to “Straight Up Now Tell Me Do You Really Want to Love Me Forever oh oh oh ….”)
4) At this point Chase couldn’t have looked more like an out-of-towner with ZERO knowledge of the Detroit sports market if he wore the following T-shirt into the Clear Channel compound for his first on-air opportunity:
But believe it or not, things actually plummeted further into the abyss.
The riveting NHL discussion finally ended (and I am quite sure that Sean Baligian and Greg Brady were rolling over in their graves during THAT segment) when the topic switched to the Pistons.
It was at this point that McCoy should have run back into the studio, advised Doug Todd to cut off David Guetta’s microphone immediately and shipped this idiot back to Allentown, Pennsylvania.
The Moby-looking douche actually asked Regner how you pronounce Jonas Jerebko’s last name. I shit you not.
This guy who already is way behind the 8-Ball programming a station with a piss-poor signal and the budget of a High School film project asked Regner how to pronounce the name of the Pistons power forward.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to call in and berate this guy for his embarrassing entrance into the market.
Shockingly enough, I got right through as whatever listeners that remain tuned to Dead Man Walking Radio weren’t dying to discuss T-Pain or Martin St. Louis at the moment.
(Mehmet to Eric Chase: Martin St. Louis is a diminutive forward on the Tampa Bay Lightning and the 2004 Hart Trophy winner. Shit, now I probably need ANOTHER Mehmet to Eric Chase explaining that the Hart Trophy isn’t something awarded to the best cardiac surgeon at Beaumont Hospital. Oh, forget it.)
In a rare moment of concern for my fellow man, I decided not to sabotage Regner and producer Doug Todd. Instead, I told the Inspector that it was me and that I wanted to speak with Chase on the air.
And trust me, I was all set to complete the Joe Buck analogy with my own Artie Lange imitation.
Not surprisingly, Todd deferred in connecting me live with his new boss and I can’t say that I blame him. It was my own moronic fault for deciding to show an ounce of compassion after 39 years on Earth.
I am not exaggerating when telling you that the Broadway musical, Glory Days, had a better opening performance than Chase’s reemergence into the Motor City market.
If the DSR was still keeping track of the “Moronic Media Quote of the Day”, Chase would have entered a stratosphere that only Marc Spindler and Drew Sharp can fully understand.
This wasn’t just an abortion. It was a third trimester abortion that didn’t take.
Honestly, if I was Clear Channel Operations Manager, Todd Thomas, I would instantly ship this guy back East and send a limousine to Fort Wayne, Indiana with a PD contract for Gregg Henson.
AND I DON’T EVEN LIKE GREGG HENSON!!!! That is how bad this “experiment” of following Jay Towers’ advice and putting a DJ into the position of program director/afternoon drive host at a SPORTS STATION that is already flat lining.
There is a debate when WDFN as we know it died. Some people say it occurred when CBS put their own sports channel on the FM dial.
Other say it was 1130 was DOA on Barack Obama’s inauguration day when Mike Stone and Bob Wojnowski were let go.
I would call all of those obituary notices premature. I am going to officially declare WDFN dead at 5:44pm on January 25, 2012 when their new PD didn’t know how to pronounce “Jerebko.”
And if you spend the rest of the day singing Paula Adbul songs, don’t blame me. You can contact the new PD at 1130 on Twitter @Eric_Chase.
“But the word and the deed go hand in hand… How about some information—please… please please ….”