By DSR Staff
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
January 8, 2014

[Editor’s Note: After a one-year hiatus, the DSR has revived our year-end awards given out to the Detroit Media. Instead of one long article presenting all of the recipients at once, we will be rolling these out over the next few days. And yes, the Raggie Trophy is a Detroit snow globe, a “Made in Detroit” coffee cozy and one of Moss’s wife’s unused tampons.]

Jamie Samuelsen Raggie

Jamie Samuelsen — 97.1 and Detroit Free Press

This Raggie was created at the request of DSR co-creator Gregg Schultz whose dislike for the bland, vanilla, ass-kissing career bore Jamie Samuelsen even surpasses Moss’ distaste for the “professional” broadcaster.

Schultz was adamant that JB receive some recognition as being one of the worst media members in Detroit and he was afraid that Samuelsen would fall through the cracks, as his blog wouldn’t qualify him for the “Worst Columnist” Raggie, and his constantly-preempted radio program with Bob Wojnowksi wouldn’t meet the minimum content requirement for that honor.

Well, Schultz was concerned that Samuelsen would come away unscathed. Just not worried enough to actually pen this write-up.

Anyway, if Samuelsen’s uneventful, snoozefest career wasn’t enough to have already earned this “Lifetime Achievement Award,” he wrote this asinine blog post in the Freep that sent Schultz into a furious rage. This article was so awful that it rivaled the idiot’s “Kenny Holland should be the Lions GM” blog from a few years back.

This piece was so illogical and fucked up that you would have to question how this dolt got into Northwestern. The DSR has retired the word “retard” from our lexicon because it is offensive. But we’re sorry, this article was fucking RETARDED.

Let’s take a look…

Schwartz is not a perfect coach. His flaws are well documented. There have been off-field issues involving his players. His teams frequently play sloppy and mistake-prone football. Schwartz himself has made highly questionable coaching decisions that have either directly or indirectly cost the Lions wins in very winnable games. And his career coaching record after Sunday’s loss in Philadelphia is 29-48.

But even if you put all those things aside, he still stands on very shaky ground for two reasons that supersede everything else.

1. A month ago, the Lions were 6-3 coming off an impressive road win at Soldier Field. They were in first place in the division with seven games remaining against teams with a combined record at the time of 23-42. Bears quarterback Jay Cutler was trying to come back from an injured groin but hasn’t played since the Lions game. Packers All-Pro Aaron Rodgers has missed the past six games with a broken collarbone and the Packers are 1-4-1 in his absence. This division was essentially being handed over to the Lions and they’ve responded by going 1-3 despite being favored in three of the four games. During that stretch, they’ve turned the ball over 15 times while forcing just four turnovers. The division should be clinched by now and easily could have been if the Lions took care of the football. Instead, the Bears are tied with the Lions at 7-6 (although the Lions do hold the tiebreaker) and the Packers are right behind at 6-6-1.

2. Tell me another team in the division that boasts the star power that the Lions do. They have the best wide receiver in the game (Calvin Johnson). They have the best quarterback in the division (Matthew Stafford) who’s not nursing an injury. They have the best defensive player in the division (Ndamukong Suh). And they also have standout players like Reggie Bush, Nick Fairley, Rob Sims, Glover Quin and Brandon Pettigrew who are playing as well as they’ve ever played in their careers. For years, the Lions struggles have been about talent, or a lack thereof. The talent is here. Martin Mayhew had an outstanding draft and free agent season to bolster the roster that was already in place. This team is ready to win and should be winning and the fact that they’re not falls squarely on the shoulders of Schwartz.

So, not only does Samuelsen lay out an airtight case for why Schwartz isn’t a good coach, he acknowledges that he has a talented roster. When Jizz Bucket wrote this article, Schwartz had already helmed the Lions 77 times.

SEVENTY. SEVEN.

Paul Coffee. Ray Bourque.

Can you imagine not being able to make a judgment on a coach’s acumen after watching him up close for nearly five seasons?!?!!?!!

Obviously, Samuelsen could not; after he listed all of the reasons why Schwartz should have been a Dead Man Walking, he wrote this …..

Lions fans have a hard time believing in this team and I have a hard time blaming them. But I do believe in this talent. And I believe this talent should shine through in these last three winnable games and then on into the playoffs.

If it doesn’t, I do believe another man should have the chance to coach them in 2014.

This is the logic this train wreck uses. Can you imagine? Yeah, Schwartz is a bad coach and the team has underperformed, but if they somehow win enough games to make the playoffs in 2013, EVERYTHING ELSE WE KNOW ABOUT JIM SCHWARTZ SHOULD GO OUT THE WINDOW.

You dumb motherfucker. You ignorant cunt. Who told you that you could work with men?

If only the Ford Family would have read Samuelsen’s original blog a five years ago, Kenny Holland would have been the Lions GM and Jim Schwartz never would have had the gig.

And we’d all be debating if Lindy Ruff deserved another year in the Honolulu blue and silver.

Honorable Mention: Are you serious?

Best Sports Talk Radio Show — “The Discussion” with Matt Dery
Worst Sports Talk Radio Show — “The Drew Lane Show” 
Best Local TV Anchor — Lindsey Hayes — Fox Sports Detroit
Best Media Twitter Account — Tony Paul — @TonyPaul1984
Worst Media Twitter Account — TIE (@TerryFoster971 and @VGoodwill)
Worst Article/Column of the Year — Pat Caputo — Oakland Press
Best Article/Column of the Year — John Niyo — Detroit News
Best TV Broadcast Team – George Blaha and Greg Kelser — Fox Sports Detroit
Worst TV Broadcast Team – Mario Impemba and Rod Allen — Fox Sports Detroit
Best Radio Broadcast Team – Dan Miller and Jim Brandstatter — 97.1
Worst Radio Broadcast Team – Dan Dickerson and Jim Price — 97.1 Best Beat Writer – David Mayo — MLive.com
Worst Beat Writer – John Lowe — Detroit Free Press
Worst Columnist – Jeff Seidel — Detroit Free Press
Worst Media-Related Restaurant Disaster – Coming Soon
The Jamie Samuelsen Award – Jamie Samuelsen — 97.1 and Detroit Free Press
Craig Monroe Memorial Award —  Bill Shea — Crain’s Detroit
Best Columnist – John Niyo — Detroit News