By DSR Staff
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 29, 2013

[Editor’s Note: After a one-year hiatus, the DSR has revived our year-end awards given out to the Detroit Media. Instead of one long article presenting all of the recipients at once, we will be rolling these out over the next few days. And yes, the Raggie Trophy is a Detroit snow globe, a “Made in Detroit” coffee cozy and one of Moss’s wife’s unused tampons.]

Best Television Anchorperson

Lindsay Hayes —Fox Sports Detroit

The committee had a difficult time deciding the winner of this Raggie when the collective group realized that its members spent virtually no time watching local news broadcasts this past year.

And almost every potential nominee was disqualified from consideration for one reason or another ……

Ryan Ermanni spent 2013 making homophobic blasts at DSR fans in the Joe Louis Arena men’s restroom. This occurred when he wasn’t busy defending a friend on Facebook who was using the N-Word and dropping “spear chucker” blasts. Also, “Owning Ermanni” is terrible.

Jamie Edmunds was DQ’d for associating herself with Rob Parker on Sports Final Edition.

We couldn’t find a picture of John Keating not looking blotchy™ (Benjy Bronk) for the top of this article in case he won.

Brad Galli didn’t meet the minimum age requirement.

Matt Shepard didn’t meet the minimum height requirement.

David Solano is an abomination and that decision was made before this newcomer doofus asked Brad Ausmus why he picked the #7 at the new Tigers manager’s press conference.

Bernie Smilovitz is Bernie Smilovitz.

We think Don Shane retired. Or died. No, pretty sure he retired. Right?

Shannon Hogan nearly accosted Moss earlier this month, which took her out of the running; Jennifer Hammond basically wished death on this site’s founder the same evening.

So the decision came down to Dan Miller, Tom Leyden and Lindsey Hayes. It looked like Miller was going to defend his crown until Moss started doing his best imitation of Kevin Spacey’s character in “House of Cards” and began twisting arms so his “Detroit Sports Media Crush” would win.

First, Moss played the “yeah, but Miller gives airtime to Terry Foster, Pat Caputo and Drew Sharp on Sportsworks” card. When the vote got a little tighter, the DSR’s majority whip then referenced Miller’s penchant for Tweeting out “#GameDay” on mornings when the Lions are playing. Finally, Moss pulled out the big guns by mentioning that Miller only Tweets about the Lions when they are winning and NEVER when things go poorly. Which means that the Lions radio voice rarely Tweets about them.

The second Hayes overtook Miller in the balloting, Moss did what any good third-world dictator would do. He called off the vote and declared a winner.

Anyway, the 2013 DSR Raggie for “Best Anchor” goes to someone who, as of this writing, hasn’t even been in this market for two months. Hell, we aren’t even sure she has ANCHORED anything yet.

The former farm girl™ (Bunny Lebowski) and WXOW anchorwoman who currently covers the Wings, Tigers and Pistons for FSD earns the prize because she hasn’t done anything to piss the DSR off yet and she hasn’t officially said no to a threesome with Moss and his poor wife.

(Editor’s Note: If you are angry about this award and believe the DSR is misogynistic, please forward your complaints to Rupert Murdoch and News Corp. When Fox starts hiring FEMALE anchors who look like Keating, we will give your criticism some credence. We aren’t the ones who came up with the “Leg Cam.”)

Now, we will leave you with some pictures of the beautiful Lindsey Hayes? Don’t you just wanna cuddle with her?

Honorable Mention: Dan Miller (Fox-2) and Tom Leyden (WXYZ-TV)

Best Sports Talk Radio Show — “The Discussion” with Matt Dery
Worst Sports Talk Radio Show — “The Drew Lane Show” 
Best Local TV Anchor — Lindsey Hayes — Fox Sports Detroit
Best Media Twitter Account — Tony Paul — @TonyPaul1984
Worst Media Twitter Account — TIE (@TerryFoster971 and @VGoodwill)
Worst Article/Column of the Year — Pat Caputo — Oakland Press
Best Article/Column of the Year — John Niyo — Detroit News
Best TV Broadcast Team – George Blaha and Greg Kelser — Fox Sports Detroit
Worst TV Broadcast Team – Mario Impemba and Rod Allen — Fox Sports Detroit
Best Radio Broadcast Team – Dan Miller and Jim Brandstatter — 97.1
Worst Radio Broadcast Team – Dan Dickerson and Jim Price — 97.1 Best Beat Writer – David Mayo — MLive.com
Worst Beat Writer – John Lowe — Detroit Free Press
Worst Columnist – Jeff Seidel — Detroit Free Press
Worst Media-Related Restaurant Disaster – Coming Soon
The Jamie Samuelsen Award – Jamie Samuelsen — 97.1 and Detroit Free Press
Craig Monroe Memorial Award —  Bill Shea — Crain’s Detroit
Best Columnist – John Niyo — Detroit News