By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 27, 2013
Over the last couple of weeks, the DSR Elite have been planning our second “Tournament of 64 WORST Detroit Sports Media Personalities,” which will commence in January. The committee has hunkered down and started the process of seeding the various competitors.
A few contentious points have already arisen during our preliminary discussions. Other than John Niyo, does anyone else deserve a #16 seed? Should Rob Parker be in play since he really doesn’t have a career any longer? Is Sean Baligian eligible even though his main body of work has its origins in Grand Rapids? You know ……. the major issues of the day.
Properly seeding this unique bracket is very difficult, and we at the DSR take the task VERY seriously. Hours have already been wasted debating this topic. And because this isn’t a lifetime achievement tourney, what each individual media member failed to accomplish in 2013 is crucial.
Now, if you were ranking the worst sports “journalists” since this site started, there would be no argument that Chris “Officer Barbrady” McCosky would be near the top of the list. Fuck, he is one of the main reasons that the DSR was created in the first place.
Hell, if we had an Awful Announcing like masthead on the main page of this website featuring the Mount Rushmore of terrible Detroit media personalities, McCosky’s ugly grill definitely would be on it.
There has been no bigger villain to the DetroitSportsRag than McCosky. His reporting on the Pistons back in the day was such a bought-and-paid-for joke that when the Detroit News moved Barbrady to the Wings beat, the Pistons had to hire Keith Langlois as their own in-house blogger.
This shitbag mocked the DSR’s exclusive reporting of Rick Carlisle’s impending firing and then had the audacity to never give the websight™ (Terry Foster) credit when the story came to pass. He later infamously attacked bloggers in his first (undeserved)News column. Fortunately, those angry rants were short-lived.
The guy has been a total car wreck™ (Pontiac Trail) for his entire career and has made a living getting stories wrong and poopooing the well-informed speculation of others. (Telling readers that the Pistons had no shot at Rasheed Wallace just minutes before the Rasheed Wallace trade was made official is another shining example of this abomination of a life.)
But during 2013, McCosky had pretty much stayed under the radar. The atrocious writer has been working away for a few years on the Lions beat — even though he has told people that covering the team makes him miserable — and hasn’t made too many glaring blunders.
Due to his recent relative anonymity on the local scene, this dolt was headed for a #5 or #6 slot in the tournament even though he was a #2 seed when we did this same exercise two years ago.
(Click for zoom view.)
But on Friday, the editors who think that employing Lynn Henning and Vincent Goodwill is a capital idea allowed McCosky to write an opinion piece. And Officer Barbrady not only put himself in play for a #1 seeding, he may end up bagging a DSR Raggie Award for worst column of the last calendar year.
I am not exaggerating. McCosky’s piece entitled, “Jim Schwartz lifted Lions out of basement, but that’s no longer enough” isn’t just one of the worst articles of the last year, it may be one of the biggest abortions in the 11-year history of the DirtSpurtRihg. It’s truly offensive and reprehensible.
I am going Old School DSR here with my critique of this horse manure column by ripping on selective passages that are in quotations below ….
Schwartz was the right man for the job
in 2009. He was young and brash, cocky enough not to be intimidated by the enormity of the task or easily discouraged through the early stages of building the program.
His steadfast belief in his methods, his system, his schemes, coupled with meticulous organizational skills and almost maniacal attention to detail were exactly what this franchise needed. He and Mayhew unwaveringly sought players who fit their system, even at the expense
Are you fucking kidding me with this? The passage of time has clearly demonstrated that Jim Schwartz was NOT the right man for the job. And one of the main reasons why he will be pink-slipped in 72 hours is Schwartz’s cockiness and belief that he is always the smartest man in the room. Barbrady thinks this is an attribute.
His meticulous organizational skills? His maniacal attention to detail? Where has this been displayed? In his horrid ability to utilize timeouts when on defense? In his screaming at another coach to learn the rules, only to cost his team a Thanksgiving victory … because he didn’t KNOW THE RULES?!?!? Or in getting tricked by John Harbaugh on Monday Night Football when he refused to call a timeout because Schwartz thought the Ravens were going to go for it on fourth down instead of kicking a game-winning field goal?
The Harbaugh Men have bitchslapped the Lions Dead Man Walking so badly during Gym Short’s career that they’ve changed their family credo from “Who’s Got It Better Than Us?!?!?” to “Who’s Got It Better Than Us When We Are Facing Jim Schwartz?!??!?”
In the last five years, the Lions have made the postseason once. And got humiliated in New Orleans. A week after getting pummeled by the Packers in a game that had serious seeding implications. (Did I mention that Green Bay was resting half of their defense that day and that their QB, who had virtually no previous NFL experience, threw for six TDs and almost 500 yards?)
A season in which they CLEARLY wouldn’t have made the postseason if Jay Cutler and Matt Forte could have remained healthy. A year in which the Lions failed to beat any team with a winning record.
In five years, THAT was the high point. What followed was a horrid season where Schwartz was clearly resting on his “laurels,” and this current debacle in which the NFC North was practically willed to the Lions as if it were from a long-lost deceased uncle. And the Lions and Schwartz said “no thanks” because they must have been under the assumption that they were the target of some Nigerian Royalty scam.
Yep. Custom Tailored Pants was CLEARLY the right man for the job in HINDSIGHT.
Schwartz and Mayhew took over a team that was 0-16, a team that changed systems and personnel seemingly every time the wind blew. And five years later the Lions are a team that was two wins from winning the NFC North.
That’s why Schwartz couldn’t get himself to say this season was failure. How can he look at how far this team has come and say it was a failure? This season ended in failure. For 31 teams, the season will end in failure.
But, big picture, was Schwartz’s tenure with the Lions a failure? That would be a harsh assessment.
First of all, stating that in five years Schwartz got this team to within TWO games of the NFC North title is CLINICALLY INSANE. As DSR correspondent Tim Diemer pointed out, two games out in the NFL is the equivalent of 20 out in baseball.
And this fuckface is placing this on Schwartz’s resume? That the Lions were only TWO games away from winning the NFC North in a year that Aaron Rodgers missed a significant portion of the season and Cutler was injured again? And don’t get me started on Charles Tillman or the Pack’s revolving-door infirmary.
Among other reasons, Schwartz is getting fired for not being able to win the worst division in the NFL in 2013, yet Barbrady thinks Schwartz should get extra credit. You cannot make this shit up.
We are talking about a league where teams regularly go from worst to first in one season. Hell, according to Diemer (who once made Crain’s list of 40 business achievers under 40 years of age) a franchise has accomplished that feat EVERY season since the NFL went to the eight-division format.
And this crazy person thinks that Schwartz accomplished something because, after five seasons, he got the Lions somewhat close to a division title in a year where they should have won it by two or three games!!!!!
The Jacksonville Jaguars were an EXPANSION team in 1995. An EXPANSION team. In their first five years of EXISTENCE they won TWO division crowns and made the postseason FOUR times.
Schwartz took over an established team that employed CALVIN JOHNSON and had the #1 overall pick in his first year and McCosky thinks he should get a parade for “changing the culture” and providing expectations.
And did I mention the culture is STILL toxic?
Is it getting through to you yet just how AWFUL Barbrady is?
“As I said, Schwartz was the right guy in 2009. He was the guy to take this franchise from bad to good.
On what planet is this team good? After a predictable loss in Minnesota this Sunday, they will have a record of 11-21 over the last two seasons. That’s GOOD to you?
Fucking die, you imbecile!!!!!
Who knows what Schwartz’s future as a coach holds, but hopefully, his time here will also get the appreciation it deserves.
This is what will be remembered about Schwartz’s time in Detroit. His refusal to ever admit that he was wrong. Screaming at the fans to fuck off during the last home game of his tenure. A culture where the players didn’t respect the coach enough to behave during the offseason. A putrid record. One very forgettable playoff game. A refusal to hold Matthew Stafford accountable for his mechanics or decision-making while totally enabling the quarterback.
There will be no appreciation of Schwartz. And like every Lions head coach not named Dick Jauron, there probably won’t be an opportunity for Jim Schwartz to pull a Rick Carlisle anytime soon.
Congratulations, Officer Barbrady, you are back on our Doppler. And you have assured yourself of a much better seeding in the upcoming tournament.
Of course, I can’t guarantee that you will get a better slot than your fellow News co-worker.
Chris McCosky with a typically reasoned look at Jim Schwartz –and why he probably needs to go. Detroit News http://t.co/TTgJAmlPUo
— Lynn G. Henning (@Lynn_Henning) December 27, 2013
This fucking town.