By Jeff Moss
May 13, 2012
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
I am not about to argue sabermetrics with a 102-year old man, but I think the DSR would be remiss if it didn’t comment on Jerry Green’s latest abomination in the Detroit News that was posted on Sunday.
http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20120512/OPINION03/205120392?fb_comment_id=fbc_10150765360045653_21337141_10150766598725653#f90689d3
In his continued war on advanced baseball metrics, the man who was once fired from the NEWS three decades ago and sued for AGE DISCRIMINATION is back with another inane column that makes the Gravina Island Bridge look like it had a final destination in comparison.
I will let you read this abortion for yourself, but let me point out a couple of interesting points.
1) The relic actually wrote the following paragraph and an EDITOR didn’t think it might be a good idea to see if the old man knew what the hell he was talking about:
“VORP stands for value of a replacement player over an entire season. That to me, scratching the gray of my head, could be construed as the opposite of WAR.”
Yes, VORP stands for value of a replacement player, ya liver spotted freak. OR it actually is an acronym for “Value Over Replacement Player.”
I mean, this isn’t some idiot’s blog on the Internet. It is the Detroit News. Nobody can give this shit the once over? Actually, I wouldn’t be shocked if Tom Gage edited the damn thing. It isn’t like he understands what VORP is either.
Read this entire article from Gage the other day where he only recites batting average in trying to prove a point. No OPS. NO OBP. Nothing. Just BATTING AVERAGE.
http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20120512/SPORTS0104/205120362/1129/sports0104/Tigers-Andy-Dirks-scorching-plate
I used to think that the Tigers beat writers didn’t use SABR stats because they didn’t want to confuse their audience. Now, I think they ignore them because they don’t understand the numbers themselves and Jerry Green is their Godfather of Ignorance.
2) Later in the article the senile fuck wrote this:
“These new categories fall under the title of Sabermetrics, the figment of several self-anointed geniuses, mostly originated via the vivid imagination of the illustrious Bill James. They were noisily compacted into a best-selling book entitled “Moneyball.” The book was scripted into a popular motion picture a year ago, starring Hollywood jock Brad Pitts and celebrating the baseball wizardry of Billy Beane.”
Yes, SABR is the figment of the imagination of self-appointed geniuses. OR it is a tool that EVERY front office in Major League Baseball utilizes to some degree in 2012.
A set of statistics that assisted the 2004 Boston Red Sox in winning their first World Series since 1918. You might remember the 1918 World Series, Jerry. I believe you were covering it for the News as their senior columnist.
Brad Pitts? Are you fucking with me now? Brad PITTS?!?!?! Seriously, Jerry, if you were any more out of touch, Hall and Oates would dedicate a song to you.
And Jerry, if you aren’t familiar with the work of Hall and Oates, they are two guys who had success on the Billboard charts when you were still in your eighties.
3) My favorite part of this entire column is that the Sherri “The Earth is Flat” Shepperd of the Detroit News is totally discounting advanced metrics and acting like STATS and baseball haven’t been a HUGE part of the fabric of the game for over a century now.
56
.406
714
4,192
61
35-5
These numbers were ALL ingrained into our head as baseball fans from the time we started watching the FREAKING GAME!!!!! And sabermetrics are just the next evolution in what has ALWAYS been a part of America’s pastime.
Obsessing over the backs of baseball cards for player’s stats. Playing Strat-O-Matic. And even Rotisserie Baseball, which predated Fantasy Football, is all-dependent on a baseball fan’s obsession with THE NUMBERS.
Seriously, can someone explain to me why the News continues to post this drivel every Sunday? Was it part of a judgment against them when they lost the age discrimination suit?
Or are they bitter at the old man and PURPOSELY don’t edit his articles so people can laugh at the guy for things like “Value of a Replacement Player” and Brad Pitts?
As a JOKE, I usually end these types of rants with “DIE!!!!!” But considering the dude is probably living on an oxygen lung and writing this crap out of some sort of Arthur Digby Sellers-esque chamber, I am going to refrain from blasting him with that epithet.
Although, based on the Detroit News’ standards in posting trash like this, I wouldn’t be shocked if Jerry Green is still writing these sort of “Hey Kids! Get off of my lawn” columns from his OWN Shiva house.