By Jeff Moss
May 20, 2012
DetroitSportsRag@gmail.com
So, yesterday afternoon I was minding my own business, relaxing at my in-home, Off-Track Betting Parlor while wagering on the Preakness Day card with my friend “Mitt” Shell when a curious email popped up in my DirtSpurtRig@gmail.com account.
It was a tip from DSR reader, Jeremiah “Fanboy” Fick, regarding a Tweet sent from WDFN reporter Denny Kapp’s Twitter account advising of a charity auction that was going to be held later that evening.
Here is the exact Tweet from Kapp’s account:
Denny Kapp (@DennyKapp)
5/19/12 12:06 PM
DFN Followers – your chance to “Sit In” w/ Chase & Kreger for an hour – coming up on WSDP Radio auction @ 9p. Listen @ 881theescape.com
Now, if you never have heard of Denny Kapp that is understandable. The guy has a radio career that makes Eric Thomas and Jeff “Kermit The” Riger look like JP McCarthy and Dick Purtan in comparison.
But I guess he is a stringer who attends local Detroit sporting events looking for audio before and after the game for the local sports station with a .4 rating.
Now, from what I could gather from the 881theescape.com website, this was an auction that was to benefit the high school radio station which Kapp attended in Plymouth-Canton.
And as a huge proponent of high school radio stations (I was the sports director and DJ for 89.3 WBLD back in the last 80s) I thought it my civic duty to make a sizeable donation for this worthwhile cause.
The fact that I was going to be bidding on a prize that would have eventually had me sitting in a studio with Eric Chase and John Kreger for an hour was secondary.
Like, it doesn’t seem that difficult to get airtime on the Clear Channel station. Hell, I was there doing a show for two-hours in December and it would appear from this video they allow food delivery people in the studio for a sit-down.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTi6GdtQwfc
Oh, I might have forgot to mention that EVERYONE at WDFN despises me including program director Aric Weisberg (errrr, Eric Chase) who is so annoyed by my antics that he tells his employees that they shouldn’t be friends with me on Facebook and that my presence in his studio for 60 minutes would virtually, perpetually and digitally be the worst thing that has happened to him since he arrived in Detroit.
I mean, we are talking about a guy who I spoofed in a YouTube video after he gave us a tour of his studio.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2vi0Qy5Ip0 (Chase’s tour)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5KU9oGs890 (My rebuttal)
The bottom line is me making an appearance in the WDFN studio with THAT guy for 60 minutes would be about as comfortable for Weisberg as Margaret Mary Ray sitting in with Paul Shaffer and the Late Show Band while watching David Letterman read tonight’s Top Ten list from the Home Office in Allentown, Pennsylvania.
The level of hilarity and hijinks that would certainly come from a winning bid is what forced me to rudely interrupt a Lelli’s dinner with DSR co-founder Gregg Schultz and our wives so I could call in my bid.
So at 9:08pm I called the auction hotline and asked the volunteer if the WDFN package was currently eligible for bid. I was informed that the opportunity to watch Chase and Kreger broadcast a show to tens was now up on the board and would end promptly at 9:30.
And the current bid was ……………. $30.
Now, I knew I wasn’t bidding on a chance to sit in the Howard Stern studio (an item that sometimes goes for low SIX figures), but THIRTY DOLLARS? That was about $15 cheaper than the 8 oz. filet with zip sauce I was devouring like a snake.
So my game plan was to enjoy my meal and then call back at the last minute with an EXTREMELY HIGH offer.
And that is exactly what I did. I called back at 9:28 and asked the nice young lady what the current bid was for the DFN experience. Her response …….
STILL AT THIRTY DOLLARS. After I stopped laughing and composed myself I asked the Good Samaritan what I was bidding on. Just to be 100 percent sure. By the time she found the placard it was 9:29pm and I informed her that I wanted to bid $250 on this special prize.
The fact that I was offering EIGHT TIMES the current bid seemed to confuse her and she asked me if I was sure. I told her that I REALLY WANTED to make sure that I was the winning buyer on this item and I didn’t want to take any chances.
She then asked me if I wanted a callback if someone outbid me even though it was already 9:30 and the auction should have been closed. To pacify her I said sure just in case Bruce Wayne decided to up the ante at the last minute.
I was told I would get a callback either way shortly. When I didn’t immediately hear back from this chick I decided to call her to see if I won the auction.
(And just to clarify, I made the bid in my OWN name. I didn’t want to attempt any subterfuge that would have given DFN an easy opportunity to nix my visit at a later date.
So at 9:36 I phoned the station and asked if I had won. I was advised that if I was the winning bidder that I would hear from them soon.
So I waited. And waited. And WAITED.
And waited ……… yet NOTHING.
So at 10:23 I decided to get proactive and call again. This time I spoke with some young man who basically couldn’t tell me if I won or was outbid. But that he would look into it and call me back either way.
It is now Sunday morning and my phone is like the AM1130 call-in line. Silent.
So what do I think occurred? I am guessing the girl who took my $250 bid dropped the phone and ecstatically told Denny K(r)app that the radio station was on the verge of being able to buy a new Tascam multi-track recorder based on my donation.
And I presume the DFN lackey then inquired who would be insane enough to offer $250 to sit in with Chase and Kreger and when informed it was “Jeff Moss” all of the blood drained out of his face immediately.
The thought of having to tell Chase that I was the one who would be spending an hour in that cramped DFN studio was probably too much for him to take.
So some bullshit went down and miraculously I was outbid AFTER 9:30. When, you know, the auction was supposed to close.
Well, I am calling “Shenanigans” on this latest travesty of justice and I will not rest until I get to the bottom of 88.1-The Scape-GATE.
By the time this is over, these poor students are going to wish they never attempted to raise a penny for their station because I am going to OWN IT.
Yep, 88.1 get ready for a steady diet of Marilyn Manson, Les Miserables, Rage Against the Machine and DoGgy Radio.
Shit, even Drew Nichol thinks you people fucked up this time.
Updates of my investigation will appear in this space.
[11:45am update: I just tried to call the auction line from yesterday to see what was up. The number is now DISCONNECTED. What the fuck? Am I in a David Mamet movie? Where are Steve Martin and Rebecca Pidgeon? Did I just mistakenly sign paperwork to leave for Venezuela where there is no extradition treaty?)