By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@Gmail.com
July 30, 2013
As most of you know, I don’t have much tolerance for the “independent” sports media in Detroit.
But compared to their public relations counterparts who call themselves team beat writers, well, the Tom Gages and Ansar Khans of the world are regular Jeremy Scahills and Sara Ganims.
Yes, I am talking about the bought-and-paid sellouts that masquerade (every face is a parade) as journalists who cover the Detroit sports teams for a living. Keith Langlois, Jason Beck, Mike O’Hara and today’s subject, Tim Twentyman.
Tim “The Size of” Twentyman used to be a reporter for the Detroit News. Back in 2011 the Devil entered his life and offered him an opportunity to cover the worst sports franchise in the history of mankind (the Lions) as a glorified propagandist.
It is nauseating for anyone to take a job with a professional sports organization and try to pretend that you are a legitimate member of the media. But taking this gig with the DETROIT LIONS? Like, kill yourself first.
And I don’t care if the NFL, the Lions or Beelzebub himself is signing your actual check, it doesn’t matter. You’re a compromised loser the minute you agree to work for a team’s website.
I just want to provide you with some actual Tweets from Size of Twentyman’s account over the last 72 hours to give you an idea of the promotion and spin you will find from Tom Lewand’s own Joseph Goebbels.
Keep in mind that this is a franchise that has won ONE playoff game in the last 55 years and is coming off a 4-12 season.
DeQuan Menzie continuing to get good reps in the nickel. #lionscamp
— Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 27, 2013
Jim Schwartz said @NdamukongSuh made a mockery of the condition test on Thursday and is in best shape he’s ever been in. — Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 27, 2013
CB @bb5live has stood out during first 2 days of camp and he’s let anyone within earshot know about it. #lionscamp http://t.co/pwt5WAGPOS — Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 27, 2013
Hilliard with two good reps vs. Jason Jones in one-on-one drills. #lionscamp
— Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 28, 2013
Rob Sims with two two great reps vs. Fairley. #lionscamp
— Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 28, 2013
Riley Reiff looks the part at LT. Anchored well and kept Willie Young off the bag. #lionscamp — Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 28, 2013
Offensive line looked pretty good in one-on-one drills with DL. #lionscamp — Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 28, 2013
Ziggy Ansah dropping back and reading screen well. The guy has wheels. #lionscamp
— Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 28, 2013
With only 967 career carries, @ReggieBush doesn’t have same wear and tear on his body most RBs have after 7 seasons. http://t.co/NAifNZ7Bhi
— Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 28, 2013
Joique Bell with a nice one-handed catch in 7-on-7 red zone drill. Gave the crowd some high fives after scoring. #lionscamp — Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 29, 2013
I thought Warford held his own there against Suh and others. I think those are the first reps with first team he’s had. #lionscamp — Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 29, 2013
Very good. I don’t ever notice him, which is a good thing. RT @VulturesB: @ttwentyman How does Rieff look out there?
— Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 29, 2013
Both punters can boom it. Significant upgrade there. @SFHCommissioner: @ttwentyman How is our new Punter look ? is he booming them?
— Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 29, 2013
No. Secondary is just better. Not so easy anymore. @LiveAsALion: @ttwentyman Stafford looking bad in practice? more pass breakups and ints. — Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 29, 2013
Montell Owens with a great block on Travis Lewis in 4-on-4 run blocking drill. It lasted a little after whistle. Got offensive guys going. — Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 30, 2013
He’s been pretty good so far “@Real_Interloper: @ttwentyman Have you seen enough of Slay to be confident in him as a starter?”
— Tim Twentyman (@ttwentyman) July 30, 2013
And now I will provide you the negative Tweets and comments from Tariq Aziz Twentyman regarding the Lions since training camp has commenced.
Look, I am not saying that Twentyman is a whore who will only report on the positive things occurring inside the Lions organization. No. Wait. THAT is EXACTLY what I am trying to say.
I mean, the only thing missing in Tim Twenty(Hype)man’s apparel is a giant clock dangling around his neck. BOYYYYYYYYYEEEEEE!!!!
Poor Tom Lewand. Twentyman didn’t start his gig fellating the Honolulu Blue and Silver until a good 16 months AFTER the Lions President blew a .21 into a Breathalyzer up in Roscommon County.
If the Ford Family would have made this Twentyman hire just a little sooner, at least ONE PERSON would have bought Tom’s breath mint story.