2013 DSR RAGGIES — Worst Local Media Twitter Account

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By DSR Staff
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 28, 2013

[Editor’s Note: After a one-year hiatus, the DSR has revived our year-end awards given out to the Detroit Media. Instead of one long article presenting all of the recipients at once, we will be rolling these out over the next few days. And yes, the Raggie Trophy is a Detroit snow globe, a “Made in Detroit” coffee cozy and one of Moss’s wife’s unused tampons.]

Worst Local Media Twitter Account

TIE — Terry Foster and Vincent Goodwill

You think the BBWAA voters had a hard time narrowing their Baseball Hall of Fame ballot down to only ten when there are close to twenty Cooperstown-worthy candidates this year?

That is nothing compared to the DSR Raggie Committee’s job in determining which Detroit sports media personality had the worst Twitter feed in 2013. And we couldn’t even narrow it down to only one imbecile so Terry Foster and his protégé Vincent GoodSHILL will have to share this honor.

Shit, we needed the firm of Coopers and Lybrand to assist us in accounting for all of the terrible sports media-related Twitter accounts in the Motor City.

The list of nominees is seemingly interminable.

Matthew B. [Aggressive] Mowery and his constant cheerleading and excuse-making for the Detroit Tigers. Dave [Huge] Hogg and his bloviating about women’s sports that nobody cares about, and that’s only when he isn’t mixing cricket, rugby and curling in with his awful Detroit sports takes. Lynn Henning’s Tigers takes, which have absolutely no basis in reality. The awful Bob Wojnowski jokes; his former radio partner Michael Stone’s feed, which seemingly is run by a 125 year-old man. Pat Caputo’s brain-dead idiocy. Scott Anderson treating anyone who believes in sabermetrics in the same fashion that the Catholic Church dealt with Galileo, and that’s when the morbidly-obese virgin isn’t making sex jokes with no frame of reference.

We could go on and on, but we must discuss the actual “winners” at some point.

And while Foster and Goodwill are both epically awful on Twitter, they go about it in two different ways.

While Goodwill actually seems to be a relatively intelligent human being, Foster might be one of the dumbest creatures you will ever encounter. It was one thing when Foster’s editors were able to protect “The Truth” from his own grammar mistakes (gorilla warfare), but he has no one to correct his spelling errors on Twitter. And this shithead can barely get through one Tweet without butchering at least one word.

Foster also doesn’t really know how to use Twitter. One of the highlights of the year was when this dolt thought he was Direct Messaging someone in an attempt to get directions. He wasn’t DMing though. He was Tweeting “Should I go left or rite?” and “I am at the corner of State and Mane, where do I go now?” to ALL of his followers.

Then there was the time he got scammed on Twitter by one my minions. This time, he actually figured out how to DM an account named “@DSRProtest.” Being the sports aficionado that he is, Foster didn’t realize that all-time tennis great Rafa Nadal PROBABLY wasn’t organizing a protest of this website.

2013 was also the year of Foster’s failed restaurant experiment in Fraser. Yep, Foster’s Smokehouse lasted less than five months. Can you imagine how short of a run the Closedhouse would have had if Foster hadn’t used his Twitter account to repeatedly spam his followers?

While Foster filled up his followers’ Timelines with a constant stream barbecue specials, he didn’t even have the decency to announce that the joint went out of business. Instead, he has CONSTANTLY lied about the disastrous end of his second food service endeavor.

First, he told a follower this big whopper ….

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Yep, on November 1st they were going through a “management change.” It should be open on Friday. Hahahahahahaha. Fucking deceitful piece of shit. “There is fun stuff going on but I am not allowed to say.”

Well, the Closedhouse never opened that Friday. It has been shuttered since.

And just yesterday, Foster came up with a new lie ….

Yep. Someone “bought out” a restaurant that couldn’t pay their contractors, constantly ran out of food, received many complaints about cleanliness and couldn’t make it to the six-month mark. The man is pathological.

And we haven’t even broached his sports-related Tweets yet, which place the man in a different stratosphere.

Here is a recent example of this man’s idiocy:

Ok. You shouldn’t fire a horrible coach immediately so you can commence a thorough coaching search on the if-come that Jim Harbaugh leaves the San Francisco 49ers when Harbaugh almost assuredly wouldn’t come to Detroit anyway.

Terry Foster Logic.

Twitter is just about the worst invention for stupid people because there isn’t anything between said moron and the 140-character statement. No editor. No checks and balances. And NOBODY in Detroit embodies social media ignorance more than Terry Foster.

Goodwill is equally deplorable, but has a completely different issue. He is no dummy and his grammar is beyond reproach. This problem with this is that he is the biggest shill in town and he doesn’t even try to mask it.

When he is not doing Joe Dumars’ dirty work on Twitter, he is blocking followers for raising even the most innocuous questions.

“Hey, Vince, do you think Joe D screwed up when he dealt Arron Afflalo?”

Wanna get blocked?????

“Vince, my man, did you see ESPN has Trey Burke listed as the #1 rookie in December?”

How about blocked?

Every night on the Vincent Goodwill Twitter account it’s a regular old-fashioned Block Party sans Ronnie the Limo Driver and Shuli Egar.

And what does Goodwill get out of serving as Joe Dumars’ hype man? A $5,000 gift like his “uncle” Rob Parker? Regular scoops from the Pistons president?

Nope. Vincent Goodwill just sold his soul for a smile™ (Gandarvas).

Honorable Mention: Shannon Hogan, Mike Valenti, Karsch and Anderson, Pat Caputo, Jeff Riger, Dan Leach, Dennis Fithian, Michael Stone, Bob Wojnowski, Drew Lane, Mickey York, Jennifer Hammond, Vince Ellis, Tim Twentyman, Helene St. James, Chris Iott, Tom Gage, Freep Tigers, Matthew Mowery, Lynn Henning Non-Political Tweets, Rob Parker, Eric Flint, Chris McCosky, Larry Lage, Brad Galli, Shawn Windsor, Dave Hogg, Dana Wakiji, Jamie Samuelsen, Dan Dickerson, Rod Allen, Mario Impemba and Matt Shepard.

Best Sports Talk Radio Show — “The Discussion” with Matt Dery
Worst Sports Talk Radio Show — “The Drew Lane Show” 
Best Local TV Anchor — Lindsey Hayes — Fox Sports Detroit
Best Media Twitter Account — Tony Paul — @TonyPaul1984
Worst Media Twitter Account — TIE (@TerryFoster971 and @VGoodwill)
Worst Article/Column of the Year — Pat Caputo — Oakland Press
Best Article/Column of the Year — John Niyo — Detroit News
Best TV Broadcast Team – George Blaha and Greg Kelser — Fox Sports Detroit
Worst TV Broadcast Team – Mario Impemba and Rod Allen — Fox Sports Detroit
Best Radio Broadcast Team – Dan Miller and Jim Brandstatter — 97.1
Worst Radio Broadcast Team – Dan Dickerson and Jim Price — 97.1 Best Beat Writer – David Mayo — MLive.com
Worst Beat Writer – John Lowe — Detroit Free Press
Worst Columnist – Jeff Seidel — Detroit Free Press
Worst Media-Related Restaurant Disaster – Coming Soon
The Jamie Samuelsen Award – Jamie Samuelsen — 97.1 and Detroit Free Press
Craig Monroe Memorial Award —  Bill Shea — Crain’s Detroit
Best Columnist – John Niyo — Detroit News