The Interior Decor of Terry Foster’s Cantina

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By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 9, 2014

The DetroitSportsRag can now bring to you exclusive photographs of the interior of Terry Foster’s new Mexican restaurant in Chesterfield Township.

Here are some pictures of the inside of Mariachi Cantina incorporated into the greatest Facebook post ever.

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Ummmmmm, could this place be any more stereotypical?

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Chief Wahoo is appalled at this imagery. Hell, I am pretty sure Daniel Snyder is trying to petition Foster and his partners to change this racist decor. “Keep out please!” I mean, if the Smokehouse was any barometer, that shouldn’t be an issue with Chuck E. Queso™ (Deano Nicolaides).

Yep, the accredited five-tool imbecile has no issue with this incredibly politically incorrect image splashed across the wall of “his” restaurant, but he went off on Cam Newton for calling Ndamukong Suh, “Donkey Kong.”

And how about the grammar from the manager of this doomed establishment? I haven’t seen the English language butchered this badly in written form since Mike Valenti applied for a job at this website.

By the way, can someone explain to me what Foster’s actual interest in this joint is? He went out of his way to advise his fans that he didn’t put any of his OWN money into Foster’s Smokehouse and that he was just lending his name to that abortion of a product.

Well, this place doesn’t even have his freaking name on it!

I am too lazy to write anything else about African-American Matt Prentice’s latest boondoggle so I will let the members of the DSR’s Facebook page take over.

Adam Fuhrman: Looks like they drew inspiration from an eight-year-old’s room.
Jeff Moss: To Foster’s credit, I don’t see any exposed wires.
Deano Nicolaides: Looks like Mexico’s version of Chuck E Queso!!
Todd Farrand: “Keep out please”, Foster’s best work ever!
Justin Bun: Deano. I am dying. We gotta start calling it Chuck E Queso’s. Muss. Call it that in an ard.
Matt Porath: Did you tweet that? And Chuck E Queso’s is absolutely f**king brilliant.
Adam Fuhrman: Sure to attract women and people after a tough day at work.
Jeff Moss: Glad Porath didn’t spell out fucking for this group full of prudes.
Ryan McCumber: Chuck E Queso’s. Dehd.
Matt Porath: We will have music and happy hours.
Ben Shipper: That jalapeño behind the sombrero looks like Mr. Hanky.
Dave Nykanen: Really spared no expense on the interior design. I hope he saved some capital for payroll and food.
Adam Fuhrman: Stole the airbrush from a mall t-shirt kiosk.
Dave Nykanen: If they have Queso Flameado, I hope Valenti is smart enough to steer clear.
Matt Porath: “I mean, 8 months ago I was airbrushing ‘Spring Break South Padre Island’ shirts and now Mr. Terry flies me up here to paint a guy in a sombrero!! Everything’s coming up Milhouse!”
Adam Fuhrman: “This time we will introduce color, art work and fun into the place.”
Chad MacFarlane: Is this appropriate for a mural at my new deli in West Bloomfield?
Chad MacFarlane's photo.
Jeff Moss: I hear Thierry choked out a contractor who was pissed he didn’t get paid. Guy said “no mas.”
Justin Bun: Why is the Mexican stereotype guy telling people to keep out? And why is he smiling while saying it?
Matt Porath: A tequila worm on a sombrero. Jesus Christ.
Matt Porath Will the food be served on wax paper-lined trays or do you think they sprung for actual plates this time?
Chad MacFarlane: Server uniforms?
Chad MacFarlane's photo.
Dave Nykanen: Kitchen equipment?
Dave Nykanen's photo.
Matt Porath: I want one of those for my house. Natchos every day.
1 hr · Like
Chad MacFarlane: Will Little Jerry Seinfeld be making an appearance?
Justin Bun: The DSR should sponsor the bar TV’s.
Deano Nicolaides: You need to be a sponsor
Dustin Jermalowicz: Who do I need to massage to become a sponsor?
Justin Bun: Bar television sponsors? Who owns this place, Roger Dorn?
Matt Porath: These guys have no fucking money… trying to find someone to put up money to “sponsor” bar TVs. What a disaster.
Dave Nykanen: I’m glad I held off on my entry in the “when will it close” contest.
Justin Bun: I was not joking. Moss should reach out to management and offer to sponsor the TVs. Either they say yes and it is hilarious, or they turn it down and that is also a blog post.

Yes, we will be contacting the management of Mariachi’s Cantina to see if they are interested in the DetroitSportsRag sponsoring their televisions. Whatever the fuck THAT means.

Special thanks to Justin Spiro for unearthing this video of Terry Foster giving a tour of his newest food service venture: