Putin Is Fixing the KHL Championship for Pavel Datsyuk’s Team

Not that we needed any further confirmation that Russian dictator Vladimir Putin is a really bad guy, but we received it last night by the way of a bizarre thread on Twitter regarding the Kontinental Hockey League.

If the former KGB operative’s fixing of the 2016 Presidential Election wasn’t bad enough (along with him ordering the assassination of journalists in the past, to say nothing of an ex-Russian spy who is currently fighting for his life in a London hospital because he was believed to have been poisoned by Putin’s government), we now have this ….

All evidence points to the likelihood that Putin is trying to Tim Donaghy the KHL playoffs so his favorite team — and propaganda on ice — will win the Gagarin Cup.

I stumbled across this story on Twitter last evening and, bizarrely, it wasn’t ReTweeted into my thread by either Bob McKenzie or James Duthie. No, I found out about this alleged fixing from Ben Jacobs. A political reporter for The Guardian.

You might remember Jacobs as the poor journalist who was assaulted by Republican congressional candidate Greg Gianforte on the eve of a special election last year in Montana. Gianforte denied slapping around Jacobs and then had to recant that story when an audio tape of the incident popped up.

And of course, since we live in a seriously fucked up country, Gianforte went on to win that election while Jacobs had to purchase a new pair of eyeglasses.

Anyway, I didn’t expect breaking hockey news from Ben Jacobs, but that’s what I received. And the Detroit angle? The team for which Putin is allegedly rigging the KHL championship is our old friend Pavel Datsyuk’s team ….. SKA.

The person Jacobs ReTweeted is a fellow named Slava Malamud and I am going to let him tell the story in his own words so I don’t screw up any facts ….

What an absolute fucked up story, but not surprising when it comes to Putin. My two takeaways are this:

1] Putin was so desperate to win the 2018 Winter Olympic gold medal in men’s ice hockey that he manipulated the KHL so all of the top talent would play on SKA and be could be a well-oiled machine by the time Pyeongchang came along. Because it wasn’t enough of an inherent advantage that the KHL was allowing professionals to play in the South Korean games while the NHL refused. It was embarrassing that Putin went through all of these machinations and it STILL took overtime to beat GERMANY (!!!!) in the gold medal game.

As I wrote a few weeks ago, Germany has been responsible for both World Wars and killed six-million of my fellow countrymen and I still was rooting for them to beat Putin’s handpicked squad. And now we’ll go to comedy legend Norm Macdonald for more insight on that subject …..

2] Not only did Putin rig the KHL version of the Harlem Globetrotters, he wasn’t done. Now it’s abundantly clear that the team artificially stocked with the best talent is also the beneficiary of bought-and-paid-for referees, linesmen and instant-replay reviewers.

I mean, did you SEE THAT FUCKING OFFSIDES call in the TweetStorm?!!?!?!?!?!?

Even Mr. MagooJeff Sessions and Jeff Healey could tell you that was offside. LOOK AT IT.

Ya don’t need to be Peter Puck or have the glowing Fox tracker to see this shit. It’s offside by a TON.

And they reviewed THAT play and called it a good goal. Mike Carey can’t believe this shit.

Can you imagine if the reason Kevin Durant went to Golden State was because Barack Obama was desirous of an NBA super team and then 44 ordered the refs to help them in the process??

That’s what’s occurring in the former (current?) Soviet Union.

Which brings us to Elizabeth Datsyuk’s father. In Tweet #19, Malamud states that Pavel isn’t political and this is a tragic situation for HIM. Get the fuck out of here. Datsyuk has been one of Putin’s “useful idiots” for years and a loyal supporter.

When Putin’s corrupt government instituted a new law that barred the discussion of gay rights and relationships around children, Datsyuk said “I’m an orthodox and that says it all.” It was such an awful thing to say that his teammate Henrik Zetterberg had to step up and state that Russia’s policy was abhorrent.

He has never criticized his monster of a leader. Ever. And he wasn’t naive when signing with SKA at all. He knew the deal — even though Datsyuk always likes to play the dopey, happy-to-be-here, goofball role. Plausible deniability.

And now Datsyuk is the most recognizable player on a franchise that’s being propped up by the country’s leader and, again, he will say absolutely nothing. Maybe because he is afraid of being poisoned.

Anyway, while it would appear that it’s a foregone conclusion that the best team in the KHL with the refs in their pocket will win the Gagarin Cup, Malamud states that there is one team that COULD take them down against all odds ……

“There is a slight possibility of a loss, if the opponent is CSKA, owning to the Moscow team’s legacy and the “patriotic value” of their potential victory, but it’s a small chance.”

CSKA? That’s the only team that has a chance to defeat Putin’s preferred choice?

And who is the General Manager of that organization????

My hero.

Your hero.

The world’s hero now.

Robert Mueller and Sergei Fedorov.

That’s what it has come down to. And who in Detroit is going to report on this other than me?

Datsyuk’s fan club of Helene St. James, Ted Kulfan, Ansar Khan or Dan Milstein’s (Datsyuk’s agent) compromised bitch boyGeorge Malik????

Don’t hold your breath.

Unless of course, one of Putin’s KGB buddies is trying to murder you with nerve gas.

(You can temporarily follow Moss on Twitter @DetSportsRag until his Twitter suspension ends. You can discuss this article on Facebook by clicking here. You can also go fuck yourself if you’d like. Totally up to you.)