Midget Shepard Gets Some Free Press

It’s no secret around these parts that the Detroit Free Press sports section has devolved into an abomination. They employ two of the most embarrassing beat writers in town (Anthony Fenech and Helene Scarf James), they never acknowledged Drew Sharp’s plagiarism and they haven’t even bothered to replace the dead troll with a new columnist.

Hell, with Frodo Albom in semi-retirement™  (Bob Wojnowski), the paper barely has a sports columnist. Jeff Seidel is more of a feature writer and a horrid one at that. You’d think the sports section of the once-great daily could sink no lower… and then we endured the last couple of days.

First, a Tweet from the derelict, drunk-driving, PT Cruiser-flipping, sexually-harassing beat(nik) writer Fenech ….

This human waste is a real Dick Schaap, let me tell ya.

If you drop the Schaap.

But that’s not the main focus of this post. It’s an article that the Freep posted a couple of days ago about recently fired WDFN morning man Matt Shepard which I cannot believe ever saw the light of day. The piece was written by something called Mike Isenberg who, as it turns out, used to work with Shepard at Fox Sports Detroit.

This garbage was basically an unpaid advertisement for Shepard’s new Podcast that he co-hosts with his son. I mean, there is a reason that Shepard was fired by WDFN. It’s because he couldn’t draw an audience. And that pattern has continued with the jock-sniffing wannabe Shepard online.

The show is called “Shep, Shower and Shave.” Get it? He replaced the word SHIT with Shep!!!!! It’s brilliant on so many levels but mainly because Shep’s opinions are truly sewage, from his sports takes to his horrific political commentary.

I mean, who wouldn’t want to associate their program with a morning bowel movement? I was thinking of calling my upcoming show “The DSR TV Show” but I am considering changing it to “The Doodie Program.”

Just read this sad, pathetic quote from Poop McGee in this Free Press commercial regarding his ventures ….

“When we get together to do a pregame show, we have a call, to me, it’s like a huddle. When we do a show, it’s like one team going out there to prepare for a game. That’s what we do. This game is the closest thing I can find to that competitive and teamwork environment in any business I can imagine.”

We call it a “huddle.” It’s like one team going out there to “prepare for a game.” You’re not a jock, dopey. You are a middle-aged, grey-haired, media member with a Napoleon Complex who obviously wishes he was born six inches taller with some athletic talent. I get douche chills every time I read that quote. And I’ve read it like 17 times in the last 48 hours.

That the Free Press gave Isenberg the canvas to prop up Shepard in this fashion is absolutely hysterical. Just look at the number of unique visitors that Diarrhea, Shower and Shave is attracting per episode …..

 

Between 101 and 268 hits. For, as the Freep labels him, “a 30-year media veteran.” Can you imagine being in this city for THIRTY YEARS, building up a following and only receiving around 200 clicks per show? It’s humiliating. And I’d guess 25% of those “listens” are from my followers as I have mentioned the Podcast on Twitter to point out how embarrassing a display this is for Shit.

Let’s compare those numbers to the audience the DSR Podcast was getting before I quit doing the show last fall ….

Hell, the Periscope I did the other day received 3,000 hits. If I were getting 200-odd visitors to my Podcast, I think I would kill myself. And I am an INSURANCE ADJUSTER, not a “30-year media veteran.” But where has the article about Poor Joff Mess ever been in the Freep? I mean, I get FIFTY times the traction of this loser but I have never been worthy of a puff piece like the one Isenberg wrote. (The one profile piece about me has apparently been embargoed by the Metro Times).

It just goes to show you that there isn’t one sports media personality in this town who can match my numbers when they don’t have the infrastructure of a radio station, newspaper or television channel. When they don’t have that crutch to fall back on, they are helpless. It’s no different for Terry Foster or Matt Dery or someone like Matt Caca.

Trust me, if that morbidly obese virgin Scott Anderson got laid off by WXYT tomorrow, he’d have the same 268 hits as Matt Number Two. If that.

Even with the good old boy network running advertisements under the guise of actual journalism.

(You can follow Moss on Twitter @JeffMossDSR. You can discuss this article on Facebook by clicking here. You can also go fuck yourself if you’d like. Totally up to you.)

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