By Jeff Moss
September 18, 2016
As you probably already know, every year in between the Super Bowl and the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, the DSR hosts the Worst Detroit Sports Media Personality Tournament of 64.
For years now, this competition has been a highlight on the DetroitSportsRag calendar. Previous winners of the ML Curley hyberBOWL Trophy include Michael Rosenberg, Terry Foster, Scott Anderson and Drew Sharp.
For the first time in site history, we will be building up to the tournament with monthly power rankings which will give you an idea on how the bracket will be seeded.
A panel of distinguished DSR contributors will cast ballots and we will post the current Worst 25 Sports Media Members in Detroit.
Now, keep in mind that voting is limited to events that occurred after we crowned Sharp the champion this past February. After that, everyone starts off with a clean slate so Sharp’s plagiarism scandal cannot be considered as evidence of his awfulness. His continued failure to apologize to the journalist he ripped off (David Harns) can be weighed, though.
Also, all members of the now-defunct Detroit Sports 105.1 are eligible for this tourney even if they are no longer employed in the sports media world. Voters have been advised that entities no longer working in the market should be downgraded for their absence but not eliminated entirely.
1] Anthony Fenech (Detroit Free Press)
No shock that the doofus who constantly defends Brad Ausmus and who recently suggested that Jordan Zimmermann should still be in the starting rotation topped this chart. Combined with two more recent revelations regarding inappropriate contact with women, Fenech has to be considered one of the favorites in 2017.
2] Scott Anderson (97.1 The Ticket)
The winner of the 2015 trophy has had another stellar year of homerism, bashing advanced metrics and suggesting outlandish trades that other teams wouldn’t even consider making with Detroit sports teams. Potentially the least informed member of this town’s sports media — and that’s saying a lot.
3] Chris McCosky (Detroit News)
Officer Barbrady has never threatened to win this championship, but his midseason Tigers’ grades where he gave Ausmus a B+ could finally propel him into contention. The fact that his own paper’s crime reporter (George Hunter) continually bashes McCosky for his undying love for the Tigers manager has become one of this site’s favorite bits.
4] Lynn Henning (Detroit News)
This perennial contender has enjoyed another banner year of horrific Tigers takes which culminated with his prediction that Tyler Collins would have a long and prosperous MLB career. Henning’s 2016 percentage on predictions is lower than Jarrod Saltalamacchia’s batting average.
5] Brad Galli (WXYZ-7)
This fanboy simpleton has skyrocketed up the charts in 2016 and is positioned for a potential deep run in 2017 based on Tweets like this …..
First of all, who even HAS a thought like that? Secondly, who would think it’d be a great idea to repeat that to the masses?
The same guy who has an unhealthy obsession with HARRY POTTER. Seriously, it would take you TEN sheets of paper to print all of Galli’s Tweets about HARRY POTTER.
As I stated recently, are we sure that Galli didn’t make a wish to be big to a fortune telling machine named “Zoltar Speaks” and he isn’t really a 12-year-old trapped inside a man’s body?
Anyone have a better explanation for this?
6] Doug Karsch (97.1 The Ticket)
The other host on the worst sports radio program in the history of mankind often gets a free pass since his partner casts a VERY large shadow, but “Ann Arbor” Doug consistently has some of the worst takes in this town. Comparing Andreas Athanasiou to former Tigers utility player Quintin Berry being chief among them.
7] Helene St. James (Detroit Free Press)
Ken Holland’s own personal Pravda scribe is having a banner year. Her three favorite things in the world are: any move that the Wings’ GM makes, gritty hockey players and scarves. She is the worst of the Wings’ beat writers and that’s saying an awful lot.
8] Bob Wojnowski (Detroit News)
A lightning rod inclusion on this list, as some voters had Wojnowski ranked first in this poll while others left him off the ballot entirely. His asinine basketball takes (Kevin Durant, Klay Thompson, etc.) combined with his defense of Jim Caldwell’s timeout usage this past Sunday eventually earned him the eight slot. Once the most popular media member in Detroit (as voted on by THIS website) has taken a precipitous fall in recent years with his lazy behavior.
9] Pat Caputo (Oakland Press/97.1 The Ticket)
“The Pamphlet’s” combination of awful baseball opinions and his recent Colin Kaepernick hot takes have this dopey
has-been never was in the top ten.
10] Rob Parker (WXON-20)
We thought we were done with the days of Parker being a factor in this market, but then Channel 20 hired him as a sports anchor on the 10pm news for reportedly peanuts. That experiment has been an abortion. Parker might be the only person worse at reading off a teleprompter than Donald Trump.
Earlier this week, Parker showed this on television in response to asking his audience for the “Trash Talking” Tweet of the week.
We thought it was odd that Parker would include a viewer calling Brad Ausmus “Assmus” but then we checked and realized he HAD to use this Tweet because it was the only response he received.
11] Drew Sharp (Detroit Free Press)
The 2016 winner of the Worst Detroit Sports Media Personality tournament has had a quiet year mainly because of his plagiarism scandal. The DSR has neutered this corrupt fool, as our investigation led to Sharp getting the boot from Fox-2’s Sportsworks program. Sharp has no Twitter presence (probably because he doesn’t want to see constant reminders that he is a thief) and has been relegated to a non-entity in this city.
12] Graham Couch (Lansing State Journal)
Any other questions?
13] Gregg Krupa (Detroit News)
Any other questions?
14] Terry Foster (97.1 The Ticket)
I told T-Fos via private message that I wouldn’t bust his balls until he recovered from a stroke that he unfortunately suffered last month. He was a good sport about it. Unfortunately, the OTHER voters in this poll made no such deal.
15] Mitch Albom (Detroit Free Press)
The Keebler Elf is STILL writing glowing pieces about Matthew Stafford. Ya know, the same Matthew Stafford who is Condescending Baggins’ good friend and who gave Frodo’s charity a seven-figure donation. It appears that Albom has now begun plagiarizing HIMSELF as well.
16] Ansar Khan (MLive.com)
Helene St. James without the walk-in closet dedicated solely to scarves.
17] Ryan Ermanni (No Current Sports Gig)
We were surprised to see Ermanni make the Top 25 when the results trickled in since he no longer has any sports media affiliation now that Detroit Sports 105.1 tanked. One can only surmise that Ermanni made this list because he is still complaining that the sports talk station never received a fair shot because Greater Media never did any advertising or got the word out.
Even though the station’s successor — The Bounce — went to #1 in the market in less than two months solely via social media buzz.
18] Dan Leach (97.1 The Ticket)
We swear Mike Valenti doesn’t have a vote in this poll. Our evidence? Leach would be much higher than #18 if he did.
19] Jim Brandstatter (Michigan Football Radio Network)
Brandstatter has enough problems pronouncing player’s names. It sure didn’t help that Hawaii was on the schedule earlier this month.
20] Rod Allen (Fox Sports Detroit)
Poor Rod. Almost every color announcer Fox Sports Detroit employs for Tigers games is awful, including Kirk Gibson, Jack Morris and Craig Monroe. Unfortunately, all of those gentlemen contributed ON THE FIELD during their baseball careers so maybe that’s why Allen gets singled out.
21] Tom Mazawey (No Current Sports Gig)
Please see Ermanni, Ryan.
22] Brian Cook (MGoBlog)
I was going to post an awful Tweet of Cook’s demonstrating why he should be on this list.
But he deleted it already.
23] Dave Birkett (Detroit Free Press)
If Birkett covered the Wings or Tigers, he’d probably be considered a hero in Detroit. Unfortunately for Birkett, he is a Lions beat writer and the competition of Kyle Meinke, Justin Rogers and Michael Rothstein is fierce.
Giving his stamp of approval to a sympathetic article about a police officer who was a serial rapist didn’t help, either.
24] Jamie Samuelsen (97.1 The Ticket)
25] David Mayo (MLive.com)
This convicted felon and Floyd Mayweather’s personal hype man had pretty much flown under the radar as a Pistons’ beat writer, but his ascent to MLive columnist has exposed this dipshit.
Others Receiving Votes:
Matthew B. Mowery
(You can follow the writer of this piece on Twitter @JeffMossDSR. Also, you can join in on the discussion of this article on Facebook by clicking here.)